PR All-St★rs 6 Ep1: Rookies and Veterans

And we begin PR All-stars Season 6 in a football stadium because nothing says fashion like … yeah, I don’t get it either. Still, our intrepid host, Alyssa Milano meets eight All Star designtestants at New Jersey’s MetLife Stadium and it looks to be a short season, until Milano brings out eight veterans of All-Stars who have appeared on the show before but haven’t one.

So, we have what are called Rookies and veterans though, thankfully, we’re told right off the bat that this isn’t going to be a season of teams … cuz that don’t work.

However, this first challenge will be Rookies—Kimberly Goldson. Stanley Hudson, Amanda Valentine …who’s already been on the PR twice … Char Glover, Kelly Dempsey, Edmond “Guns” Newton, Candice Cuoco and Merline Labissiere—against the Veterans—Anthony Williams, Joshua McKinley, Casanova, Ari South, Melissa Fleis, Fabio Costa, Helen Castillo and Ken Laurence.

The first challenge will begin after a Quick Stitch Relay to see which team can make a look the fastest; thank Dior the look didn’t have to be pretty cuz, yeah, ugly stuff was made. The winning team from the real will have a $1500 budget and the choice of a Fall or Spring collection, while the losers work with just a $1000 and get no choice ion their season.

It was a close relay, but Edmond… lord he’s dreamy …forgot to put the belt on his model and then forgot he had the belt around his neck, so the Veterans win the race and opt to go for Spring, and create a collection based on a woman going to Art Basel in Miami. The Rookies take a look back at a 1970s-inspired Fall collection.

Why am I seeing disco balls and leaves? Well, let’s dish …

VETERANS

They have this because they’ve been all-stars before, right? Yeah, that makes no sense, because it’s still the PR and still the same challenges. Still, they think they are already winners …. Until mentor Anne Fulenwider drops by.

She tells ken that a power suit at Art Basel makes no sense because it’s Miami and it’s hot; she’s worried about Casanova, but, then, who isn’t since he says he likes to design underwear. She warns Ari about the lack of cohesion in the collection, and tells Josh, who is using neon pink … again … that she loves the disco. She is concerned about Fabio’s color choices, Anthony’s elegant prom dress, Melissa’s ‘meh’ look and Helen’s boring colors.

Anthony’s dress is pretty, especially given that the model is breathing, but it’s nothing special. Ari’s is nice, but it doesn’t fit the sleek lines of the others, and Josh’s hot pink mess belongs in a collection from Adam and Eve online shopping site. Melissa’s is sleek and hot, but doesn’t say Miami or Art Basel.

The Veterans are not the winners, and Hellen, Ken and Casanova are the bottom of the bottoms.

HELEN

She’s got ‘tude already, so I see shrieking from her this season.

WHAT SHE SAID

It walks good.

WHAT I SAID

It isn’t fashion, it’s Marshall’s.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

The beautiful Georgina Chapman™ calls it a good dress, a boring dress, while Isaac Mizrahi says it’s off the rack with big hips. Alyssa Milano, though, likes it, and thinks Helen should be removed from the bottom.

CASANOVA

He still seems not to understand the idea of the show, and wants to make swimsuits and underwear.

WHAT HE SAID

I’m pretty happy.

WHAT I SAID

I like the top, but the pants seem fluttery and slutty at the same time. Sluttery?

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

The beautiful Georgia Chapman™ says the two pieces he created lack taste. Isaac likes the detail in the leather top, but says he’s seen it before, while Alyssa thinks the hard top and soft bottom … is that a gay porn reference … doesn’t work. Former PR designer, and current Beyoncé favorite, Michael Costello says the look shouldn’t be at Art Basel … shouldn’t be anywhere at all.

KEN

I loved when he pointed out the divas in the room, and screamed, Pot. Kettle. Ken.

WHAT HE SAID

It needs editing.

WHAT I SAID

It doesn’t scream power suit, it screams the power is out suit.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Isaac loved the idea, but hates hates hates the bare midriff …. Power suit belly button? Michael Costello thinks the pants are so badly constructed that they resemble the stretchy pants pregnant women wear. The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ says there are issues with the dress, one of them being that it’s tacky. Alyssa Milano says it simply isn’t fresh.

ROOKIES

With a 70s theme raging the Rookies get to work, and seem to play well with one another. Anne Fulenwider will change all that.

She does love Kimberly’s pants, but dubs Char’s look claustrophobic and itchy; Stanley’s is not fashion forward and she does think Candice has evolved from her season’s black-and-red collection. She thinks Amanda has a 70s vibe going, but it’s a 70s kitchen vibe, and says Merline’s isn’t modern, but more Little House On The Prairie. Kelly’s is very 70s, though, Edmond’s seems conservative and traditional.

Stanley’s look is like a throwback, and not the 70s, but maybe the 40s; Bonnie might wear that robbing a bank.  Kimberly’s look appears to be a onesie and a diaper worn over orange pants. Kelly’s is right out of the 1970s … like in a movie, and as a costume. I loved Candice’s flowy Stevie Nicks Goes Uptown vibe, but Amanda’s Ode to Breasts was a bit much.

Edmond … gosh, he’s adorable… Char and Merline really listened to Anne and switched up their designs and it paid off, making them the tops of the tops.

EDMOND

He has an aesthetic and sticks to it, but I'm not sure he can mold his aesthetic to each challenge. But, yeah, adorable.

WHAT HE SAID

The fit is very beautiful.

WHAT I SAID

Gosh Edmond is dreamy … I say that because I don’t really like the color, the shoulders, or that snake thing. But gosh, Edmond ….

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ loves the “easy glam” of the dress but hated the big shoulders. Michael Costello pints out construction issues, while Alyssa calls it “unexpected’ and Isaac says it’s fresh, glamorous and dramatic.

CHAR

I tried to remember her from her season and, well, there she is.

WHAT SHE SAID

I love the volume and the fit.

WHAT I SAID

It’s a fun little number, in a somber color, even for a mullet dress.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

After shortening her dress and lowering the neckline and adding a cape, Michael fell in love with the look, Isaac said he normally doesn’t like a high-low dress, but somehow this one works. The beautiful Georgina Chapman™ noted the sleeve issues, but loved the color, while Alyssa loved the movement.

MERLINE

Merline will always be the one who struggles with time and construction and this first challenge was no different.

WHAT SHE SAID

I love the shape.

WHAT I SAID

If she hadn’t opted to do those crazy sleeves, she wouldn’t have been in the top, she would have been on a bus back to sewing school.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

She really switched it up, and created cool sleeves that were far from the prairie. Isaac loved the openness of the sleeves, while Michael Costello said it was reminiscent of armor. The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ loved Merline’s architectural take on fashion, but noted the seam mistakes, while Alyssa loved the strength and softness of the look.

Edmond is safe, and it comes down to Merline and Char, and Merline’s sleeves take the Win.

As for the Bottoms, Helen is saved at once and then Ken and Casanova are up to be chopped. It was a no-brainer: Casanova must go.

I loved when Ken, clearly one of the biggest bitches and jackasses in PR history, muttered while checking out at Mood:

“I see a lot of my team members with stuff in their baskets that we did not discuss, but to be nice I’m just gonna say — there is some tacky s— in these baskets.”

And he was right.

Anthony’s description of Edmond’s zipper:

“Edmond’s zipper has scoliosis.”

It was kinda spot on.

Isaac Mizrahi telling the designtestants:

“I’m gonna be super bitchy this time.”

But then he let The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ take on that role. I don’t know if this was filmed after all the revelations about her soon-to-be-ex-husband-sexual-predator Harvey Weinstein, but GC was gunning for fashion victims.

I don’t quite get the new runway; why change what’s always worked?

Josh McKinley’s eyebrows … is that done with a grease pencil?

Anthony’s work apron, and the idea he has a company called DPD, Dead People Dresses, and he actually makes corpse couture?

What did YOU think?

I Didn't Say It ...

Blaine Stewart, openly gay Virginia Beach news anchor, on the snow storm this week:

“Get ready for a pounding. Some of us could see 8 inches or more. That’s too much — even for me.”

Blaine, that’s too much information, even for me.

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Richard Gere, saying that China is the reason he doesn’t get any big acting jobs any more:

“There are definitely movies that I can’t be in because the Chinese will say, ‘Not with him.’ I recently had an episode where someone said they could not finance a film with me because it would upset the Chinese. There was something I was going do with a Chinese director, and two weeks before we were going to shoot, he called saying, ‘Sorry, I can’t do it. We had a secret phone call on a protected line. If I had worked with this director, he, his family would never have been allowed to leave the country ever again, and he would never work.”

Gere has long drawn attention to China’s horrendous human rights situation and says that’s why he only gets smaller film roles.

But, he says, he doesn’t regret the change because he has something that Hollywood doesn’t: money and, in conjunction, freedom.

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Jodie Foster, on those big budget superhero movies:

“Going to the movies has become like a theme park. Studios making bad content in order to appeal to the masses and shareholders is like fracking — you get the best return right now but you wreck the earth. It’s ruining the viewing habits of the American population and then ultimately the rest of the world.”

I kind of agree, mainly because I have no real interest in these superhero movies because, at their core, they are all very much alike.

Give me a small movie with a good story and I’m all in.

Give me a Jodie Foster movie.

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Donald _____, on Steve Bannon, after that new bombshell book revealed how Bannon now feels about the Fat Bastard:

“Steve Bannon has nothing to do with me or my Presidency. When he was fired, he not only lost his job, he lost his mind. Steve was a staffer who worked for me after I had already won the nomination by defeating seventeen candidates, often described as the most talented field ever assembled in the Republican party. Now that he is on his own, Steve is learning that winning isn’t as easy as I make it look. Steve had very little to do with our historic victory, which was delivered by the forgotten men and women of this country.”

Delusional say what? Does he think anyone, other than his Basket of Deplorables, will forget the praise he heaped on Bannon?

Bannon was quoted in that new book calling the Trump campaign team’s meeting with Russians “treasonous” and “unpatriotic” and claimed “They’re going to crack Don Junior like an egg on national TV.”

Gosh, it’s fun to see mean girls turn on each other.

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Anderson Cooper, on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, saying he walked out of the new Star Wars movie:

“I actually saw it last night, I walked out. I know, I’m sorry. I have a lot going on, I had a lot of work to do and a lot on my mind. It wasn’t a protest, I’m going to see it again. I had too much in my head. About 45 minutes in I said, ‘I’m not giving this the attention it deserves.’”

Anderson? Call me. I’ll go see it with you ….

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Meryl Streep, on the time Dustin Hoffman, accused sexual harasser,  admits that Hoffman, went too far in a Kramer vs. Kramer scene:

"I’m sure that I have inadvertently hurt people in physical scenes, but there’s a certain amount of forgiveness in that. But this was my first movie, and it was my first take in my first movie, and he just slapped me. And you see it in the movie. It was overstepping. But I think those things are being corrected in this moment. And they’re not politically corrected; they’re fixed. They will be fixed, because people won’t accept it anymore. So that’s a good thing."

Hoffman also made light of the fact that Streep’s boyfriend at the time had recently died after a long illness, so, yeah, he’s a pig.

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Matt Evers, professional ice skater, coming out as gay, and saying he was inspired by seeing what his uncle went through after being diagnosed with HIV:

"He was part of the original San Francisco and New York Fire Island crowd back in the 70s and 80s. I didn't know I was gay at the time, but when he was dying it hit me really hard that he didn't know the love of his mum, my grandmother. They were strict Catholics at the tip of the Bible belt. I wasn't aware of why his passing and the thought of him never being accepted by his own family hurt me so much until I realized I was gay. It's scary, the difference between generations [but] I live my life by example, and I want to show young people that what you feel or how you were born isn't something bad."

How sad to have your own family disown because you were born gay; and how hard that would have been growing up gay and knowing how your family feels.

Welcome out, Matt, and please accept as our Coming Out gifts, a copy of The Gay Agenda and the Official Coming Out Toaster Oven.

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Bobservations

On Christmas Day the Fat Bastard tweeted that he would be going “back to work” the next day, Tuesday, but ...

On Tuesday, he played golf … Wednesday, he played golf … Thursday, he played golf … Friday, he played golf … Saturday, he played golf … Sunday, he played golf … Monday, he played golf.

In fact, the Fat Bastard also golfed on the two days before Christmas, making it nine out of the last 10 days on the links even though he promised not to golf at all as president:

“I’m going to be working for you. I’m not going to have time to go play golf.”

I knew he was lying but what about you Deplorables? How do you like the lying fool now?

On this same kick …. When asked if the president has a bit of a transparency issue when it comes to his $90 million a year golf addiction—paid for by We The People—his Lying Minion Sarah Huckleberry Sanders said:

“I think it’s the press that has an issue with his time on the course. The president is extremely proud of the accomplishments we had during 2017.”

And then she claimed that his successful …. Her word …first year in office was due to the “relationship building” he was able to do on the golf course though she could not name one single important meeting the Fat Bastard held while golfing.

Yet the Deplorables still rally behind his ass.

While scrolling through the TV listings last week, looking for one of the nerdy shows he likes to watch, Carlos stopped on this:

NBA: Rockets at Celtics

And he said, sadly, out loud:

“NBA Rockettes? What is that?”

I am still laughing.

Vice President Mike Pence and Mother Pence spent the holiday in Aspen and they received a lovely welcoming note from the neighbors.

Neighbors posted this message on a stone pillar that sits at the end of driveway:

Pitkin County Sheriff's Deputy Michael Buglione said you couldn’t miss the sign, and noted that the man and woman who live in the home brought chili and corn muffins to deputies and Secret Service agents posted at the end of the driveway. Pitkin County Sheriff Joe DiSalvo said one of his deputies was present when the man who lives in the home came out and first draped the banner over the stone pillar:

"He was real sheepish and thought he might be confronted by the Secret Service or deputies who'd tell him he couldn't do it. When they said, 'We're not here to control your free speech rights,' they came out with chili and began feeding them. They've been really nice to us."

That just makes it all the more special!

That and knowing Pence and Mother Pence were annoyed by a “gay” sign outside their vacation rental.

More gay good news … South Bend, Indiana Mayor Pete Buttigieg announced on Facebook that he is marrying his boyfriend Chasten Glezman:

“He said yes! Can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with Chasten Glezman.”

Congrats to the happy couple!

Let me just say this to those, and you know who you are, social media whores out there … and you know who you are … I never had to be taught that filming a dead body was sick, and I never had to learn that making jokes about a suicide victim was disgusting. I just always knew was sick and vile and wrong. So, stop with the I’m sorry bull shiz, you’re just looking to salvage your followers.

I also know, without ever having to be told, that you don’t rake children, especially, your own relatives, over the coals because, wait a second, they’re children. And then you don’t have to apologize for being a dick.

Best that the two of you, and, again, you know who you are, to close all your social media accounts until you learn how to act human.

I guess you could call it getting buff in the buff, because Hanson Fitness in New York City will be holding naked personal fitness classes to kick off 2018. The fitness studio will have its first nude personal training session. The studio initially plans to host three sessions a week: one mixed, one for men, and one for women.

Mixed? Men and women? Hell, no ….

But, if guests are uncomfortable training in the complete nude, nude-colored underwear is permitted.

And what exactly is the point of that?

So, we know Orrin Hatch, the GOP’s longest-serving senator, is retiring, but did you know it was a personal smackdown to _____?

Hatch was under heavy pressure from _____ to seek re-election in order to block Mittsy Romney from seeking that seat since Romney is no fan of the Fat Bastard.

Hatch, who had his lips pressed firmly to _____’s ass decided to retire after discussing the matter with his family … or because a recent poll showed that 75% of Utah voters did not want him to run again.

Yeah, that last thing.

Former Minnesota congresswoman, virulent homophobe, current “pastor to the United Nations” and victim of The Crazy Eyes, Michele Bachmann is considering running for Al Franken’s Senate seat … if God asks her:

“I trust in a big God. I feel like I was wildly successful [in running for president in 2012] … I didn’t win, but I moved the debate. So, I didn’t shed a tear when I left the contest because I felt like, you know, I fulfilled the calling that God gave me. So, the question is am I being called to do this now? I don’t know.”

Um, Michele? Honey? “Wildly successful”? Even God read that and She started laughing so hard she forgot to smite you.

Down in Texas some new laws will go into effect this year, like …

… a ban on texting while driving. That’s good, right?

…open carry for swords and machetes. Yes, seriously. Blades more than 5.5 inches in length are being permitted for open-carry in public places, though the law prohibits swords and machetes in most bars, schools, colleges, sporting events, polling places, race parks, correctional facilities, hospitals, amusement parks and places of worship.

… new. Lower handgun license fees; I guess for those who don’t own a machete.

They started off so good with the texting, which is a crime, but swords and guns? Go ahead, whip ‘em out.

Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner made a deal for her to become the first female president. Was she planning to run on the Cheap Crap Made In China Platform?

Siddown, grifter.

Carlos and I watched Hell or High Water over the weekend starring …. another …. Husband In My Head, Chris Pine, as a bank robber in West Texas.

Good, smart, funny, film, but, yeah, Chris Pine.

Architecture Wednesday: Tropical California Getaway

It’s cold in Smallville this week and so I was looking for something tropical and warm and beachy. But who has the time to fly to a South Seas resort? I don’t; and so this tropical getaway is perfect because it’s in California, just a hop, skip and a plane ride away.

And it’s big, on big coastal land; an 8245-square foot house on over eight lush acres. But just three bedrooms and three bathrooms, a gym with steam room, a studio a library and office and wide-open spaces to take in the view of the infinity pool and beyond, plus His and His living rooms ate either end of the house, you know, incase Carlos works my last nerve… or I work his.

I can relax and warm up by the koi pond, or stroll through the gardens o swim in the pool; a fire on the terrace as we watch the sunset …

I need a plane ticket.

HomeDSGN

Just Another Thought

Just A Thought

Nikki Haley Once Again Proves her Stupidity

Well, the Mama Grizzly Bore™ could see Russia from her house, and _____ could collude with Russia from his, so what it is about Russia?

Well, don’t ask US Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley because she just got played by Russians.

See, when we thought the MGB™ was dumb, and then thought ______ was stupid, we now have proof that Haley is just plain ignorant, after by two Russian comedians tricked her into defending the sovereignty of a fake nation.

The pranksters, Vovan and Lexus, pretended to be the Polish Prime Minister and spoke for over twenty minutes with Haley, who told them:

“Let me start with very much thanking you for the support we received on the vote today. We will never forget it.”

Remember, Binomo isn't areal place, but Haley was really referring to the UN’s condemnation of the US’s decision to move its Israeli embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem, and apes what Haley herself told the UN when she vowed to “take names” of countries that voted against the US.

But the most disturbing part of the conversation was when Vovan and Lexus told Haley of Poland’s concerns with recent elections in the fictional country of Binomo, reminding Haley of Binomo’s location “near Vietnam”.

Vovan and Lexus: “You know Binomo?”

Haley: “Yes, yes.” Haley said.

Vovan and Lexus: “They had elections and we suppose Russians had its intervention.”

Haley affirmed that she is familiar with the non-existent state and that she was fully aware that Russia had meddled in its recent elections.

“Yes, of course they did, absolutely.”

Then she offered to “find out exactly what our stance is on that, and what if anything the U.S. is doing or thinks should be done and I will report back to you on that as well.”

Haley: “We’re supposed to have White House meetings on all issues with the South China Sea coming forward, so I think we’ll have more answers at that time.”

At the end of the conversation, Haley told the “Polish Premier” to call back at any time, indicating that she remained unaware that it was a prank phone call even after it became progressively absurd, as in when Vovan and Lexus suggested that Kevin Spacey had a homoerotic experience with the Kiev regime leader Petro Poroshenko.

Seriously. How fucked is the White House that the ambassador to the UN thinks Binomo is a country? I mean, it sounds like a casino game. And, while talking to the pranksters she couldn’t have done a two-second Google search on Binomo?

This is our current administration, and just more proof that we need to do all we can to get them out of office.

And maybe onto a beach in Binomo where, I hear, the weather is lovely this time of year.

POLITICAL D!G

Just A Thought

HNY 2018

I love the New Year ... the freshness of what may be; the thought of infinite possibility; the idea that I am another year older.

Okay, that last one ... not so much.

But, as I used to tell my sister, who was annoyed that I never seemed to change—and never mind that portrait of me in that attic ... nothing to see there—The Gays are not allowed to age so I’ll take that extra year and run with it.

But I do look forward to doing more, and learning more, thinking more, reading more, loving more, laughing more. These aren't resolutions, as I don't make resolutions because when I do, my resolutions last about as long as it takes me to say resolution. These are promises and wishes, hopes and dreams.

So, I'll leave y’all to have a good day, with a repost, and a little revision, of a previous New Years Day thoughts:

The more things change :::blibbety blah blay bloo touch me::: the more they remain the same:  I am a believer in happiness. I believe that happiness is all we really get in life, a lesson learned from my parents, and that everything else follows. 

Things don't make us happy, at least not for long. And you can't expect people to make you happy either; you either have it to begin with, and others add to it, or you don't.

If you don't believe that, just look around at all the sad, angry, lonely faces you pass on the street. Happiness is something you possess, that you give out, and get back. We're responsible for our own happiness, each and all of us; responsible to find it, to hold on to it; to nurture it and share it.

Without happiness in ourselves, for being ourselves, how can we expect to live fully and completely. We suffer loss every day; I've had my share and, sad to say, I know there's more to come, but I feel happy in the memories I have of those who've gone on ahead.

I know it's hard to be happy when times are hard; these days especially with that feeling of gloom settling in over our country.

It's near impossible to think that things will get better, but they will; it will take all of us to get it better, working together, trying together, but we can make it better; this, and y’all know who I mean by that, is just a speed bump; it, too, shall pass.

I have learned, from my past, from my life, from living as an openly gay man, an unapologetically gay man, in this world, that it will get better. 

I have learned, from my Father the Teacher, never to stop learning and reading and speaking and, well, ranting; the more you learn, the more you grow, and understand, the more happiness you can accept. 

I have learned, from my Mother the Nurturer, to care for things, for people, for animals, for life; to make each day better for those around us, and to make it better for ourselves in the end. 

I have learned, from my Sister the Temper, to speak up; why sit quietly and just let things happen? Stand up and demand the things you want, the happiness you want. Don't settle. 

I have learned, from my Brother the Father, to hold close to family; never let them go; whether it's the family you were born into, or the family you created out of necessity; hold on to them, and protect them, and love them. 

I have learned, from my Partner the Optimist, how to actually let go and be in love and damn the torpedoes; how to be open and honest and know that it won't hurt; how to love yourself, and everyone around you. 

So, I once again realize that I have learned to be happy; I've earned happiness. And I am responsible for it.

It is, after all, all you really get in life.

And so I’ll end with this tune, and this artist, Eva Cassidy, because it makes me happy ... and what a way to start a New Year.