President-For-Now _____ held a Cabinet meeting yesterday—cameras present and running, of course—and asked that each and every Cabinet member around the table start off by kissing his big fat ass.
Oh, but he did.
But, as a narcissist will do, _____ started off first, praising himself—I guess to show his underlings what he expected of them:
"Never has there been a president, with few exceptions—case of FDR, he had a major depression to handle—who has passed more legislation and who has done more things than what we’ve done. We’ve been about as active as you can possibly be and at a just about record pace.”
Um, like what? Wall? No. Travel ban? No. Healthcare? No.
And then he asked the others to speak; Mike Pence went first:
“Never have I had a more gentle lover. The way you bend me over the couch in the Oval Office and make sweet sweet love to me.".
Okay, maybe Mike didn’t say that, but he did say this:
“It is the greatest privilege of my life to serve as vice president. The president is keeping his word to the American people.”
And Pence is awaiting impeachment so he can ascend to the throne.
Next up, Secretary of Energy Rick Perry:
“Now, because of you, Mr. President, people have stopped calling me ‘The Dumb One’ in the GOP.”
All right! He didn’t exactly say it in those words, but Perry—who had urged_____ not to drop out of the Paris climate agreement—praised the man for doing just that:
“My hat’s off to you for taking that stand and sending a clear message around the world.”
Health Secretary Tom Price said:
“You have made my life. By allowing me to work toward denying healthcare to millions while making millions myself, well, I could go on kissing your lily white ass for decades.”
Or, he said:
"I can't thank you enough for the privileges you've given me and the leadership that you've shown. And we’re continuing to work very hard every day to accomplish these goals.”
But I’ll give it to U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley—who spends her days fixing the idiotic gaffes and statements issued by the Tool-In-Chief—who, instead of saying something along the lines of “How come you don’t wanna grab my pussy?” said:
“I think the international community knows we’re back."
“On behalf of the entire senior staff around you, Mr. President, we thank you for the opportunity and the blessing that you’ve given us to serve your agenda and the American people,”
No joke; he said that.
Of course, rumors abound that Priebus is thisclose to being kicked to the curb, so can we blame him for being such a stunt man?
Despite Trump’s boasts to the contrary—the only thing they’ve accomplished are scandals, and low approval ratings—no major legislation has made its way through Congress.
None. Nearly six months in and the GOP—fully in control of the entire government—has done nothing.
But, hey, _____ wants a rim job.