Saturday, June 10, 2017

It's Snarkurday!

Well, well, well, while y’all were watching the Comey testimony you completely missed that other yuuuuge scandal of the week: HugGate!

Yup, at the National Night of Laughing and Song last week in DC Jerry Seinfeld was giving an interview when Kesha raced up to him, interrupted, and asked for a hug.

Jerry said no; Kesha tried again.

Jerry said no ... again ... and backed up.

Kesha squealed and ran off.

And then Kesha fans tried to come for Seinfeld on Twitter while Jerry, old school comic that he is, simply gave a statement ... with a side of shade:
“I’m 63. I don’t know every pop star ... In my reality I don’t hug a total stranger. I have to meet someone, say hello. I gotta start somewhere. Hug isn’t first moment of a human, two humans ... I got a borderline harassment case here.”
He totally Mimi-I-Don’t-Know-Her’d Kesha!
Poor JLo. It appears that while she can get any man she wants, once she gets them, they ... ALLEGEDLY ... cheat on her.

True; Alex Rodriguez has ... ALLEGEDLY ... been sexting with another woman while he was banging Jennifer Lopez and even tried to arrange a date with his secret love.

The National Enquirer—remember they got the John Edwards story right—says they have the sext messages between A-Rod and fitness model Lauren Hunter, included naked pictures of her sent to the former baseballer.

Hunter claims she and Rodriguez began dating back in 2011—while he was dating Cameron Diaz ... how’s that for an STD cesspool—and have been in touch ever since. And so, after A-Rod began banging dating JLo in March, he and Hunter ... ALLEGEDLY ... “began FaceTiming again three or four times a day and [Hunter] was sending him explicit messages and photos.”

Then, the Enquirer says, “on On May 10 [Rodriguez] told [Hunter] he missed her ... and asked her to send a video of her [doing a sex act].”

A couple of days later A-Rod asked Hunter to fly to Kansas City where he was doing on-air commentary for Fox, while JLo was in New York filming. Hunter didn’t make the trip because she couldn’t arrange child care.

A source close to Rodriguez—possibly JLo herself in Damage Control mode—says:
“He and Jennifer are together all the time. Every week the magazines write something ridiculous about their relationship, last week they were getting married, she’s pregnant. It’s laughable.”
Well, together except for that time he was in Kansas City and she was in NYC and he ... ALLEGEDLY ... tried to arrange a booty call.

But this all boils down to one question: why do the men JLo dates, and marries and marries and marries and marries, cheat on her?
Okay, so Katy and Taylor ... the feud continues.

Katy has a new album out and to promote it she is talking incessantly about BackUpDancerGate and the feud it ignited, but Taylor has ... ALLEGEDLY ... been taking the high road and refusing to comment on a fight that started over two years ago and inspired Swifty’s “Bad Blood” and Katy’s “Swish Swish.” 

But secretly, TayTay is seething ... and friends of Swifty say she’s livid and refusing to bury the hatchet:
“That is SO not going to happen. Taylor believes that Katy is using their rivalry for press, just like Kanye West and Kim Kardashian did.”
Cuz Taylor Swift, who never had a personal moment she didn’t turn into a song for coins, is the victim, y’all. But, and this gets dishy, Friends of Taylor also say she is petty and cannot let go of the fight either:
“She has been like this since high school. She is sort of a gaslight bully, playing the victim when in fact she is the one likes making others look bad, instead of having a private conversation with them ... Taylor will never let this go.”
At least not until she’s got an entire concept album about it.
I guess divorce, for some, is a career move.

A few months ago Janet Jackson took to social media to announce her divorce from billionaire Wissam al Mana and now she’s trying to turn the divorce—from which she’s expected to receive about a half billion dollars in settlement—into a TV show.

Yup, Miss Jackson is kinda nasty about the breakup and is said to be planning a docu-series on Netflix ... a “ten-part documentary and will feature recording sessions in the studio, co-parenting her child with Wissam and preparing for the European and Asian legs of her tour. Netflix are [sic] negotiating a big sum for the rights to the show as they expect it to perform well.”

You know, because a half-billion dollars to a rich Jackson is just not even coins and so why not sell yourself, and your third failed marriage to the highest bidder?
Looks like Tracy Morgan won’t talk about that horrific bus crash if there isn’t a paycheck involved ... the former 30 Rock star is refusing to testify under oath in an insurance dispute against Wal-Mart’s multimillion-dollar payout to the comedian over that 2014 truck accident that left him injured and killed Jimmy Mack.

Wal-Mart’s insurer, Ohio Casualty, is demanding Morgan appear for a deposition to prove its claims that he exaggerated his injuries to get the payout, reported to be about $90 million.

And Tracy isn’t talking this time because it might cost him money instead of pad his bank account.
Oh lord ... just say No.

Kanye West is trying to seal a deal with Calabasas High School to design their sports uniforms.


As part of the deal, Kanye would also make a sizable donation to improve school facilities—including major upgrades to the gym which might then be called The Kym? And he also wants to change the name of their sports teams from the Coyotes to the Wolves—which just happens to be the name of one of his songs—and would like to change the school’s colors from black-and-gold to ... flesh?

Does any school, even a school in Calabasas really want to look like this when they take the field?

Even the drama club should stop taking his calls.

Just say No!


Helen Lashbrook said...

God forbid that I should have friends like Taylor Swift; those aren't friends, they're enemy double agents!

the dogs' mother said...

School uniforms... what could go wrong?!

mistress maddie said...

Tracy Morgan - I never really followed him. but if he does win the case maybe the damn Wal-Mart would close finally. Despite them.

Kayne West, design uniforms? Why would they even consider him???

And can't blame Jerry. Lords know what Kesha is carrying on her. She always looks filthy.

anne marie in philly said...

what a dungheap this week...all has-beens and never-relevants.

Blobby said...

A. A-Rod is a serial cheater. If J-Lo thinks she's the one that can "fix him", well.......goood luck w that.
B. Janet. on Netfix. They have worse shows, of course, but this seems something that is more ofr VH1 or BET material.
C. Key Dollar Sign Ha, could walk right up to me with a name tag on and I'd still not know who she is.