Saturday, June 24, 2017

It's Snarkurday!

A few weeks back, I posted about Mariah Carey’s diva behavior during her cameo role in the new Will Ferrell-Amy Poehler film The House, and now Cedric Yarbrough is spilling the tea about Carey:
“Yeah, a real funny cameo was SUPPOSED to happen in the new film #TheHouse with the superstar Mariah Carey. But it was ruined by superstar Mariah Carey. The film takes place in a suburban home but is made into a ‘Casino’. Why not have Mariah be an act in the casino? Funny idea. It’s rumored that she eventually showed up to set [four hours late]. ... While we waited the director & team had the idea of doing a stunt that Mariah’s body double would do now & bring in Mariah to match it. They do the stunt. All goes well. When Mariah finally showed up she refused to match the stunt. ‘Darling, I would never do it that way…’. I heard her say those exact words. She then requested a large fan for her hair to be blown around and a camera that would be above her, basically a crane shot. This lady was unprofessional & borderline abusive to our director, who tried his best to appease her every wish. ... This kind of behavior just isn’t cool. For you young actors, be on time, know your homework, but be courteous and respectful. ... I miss ‘Vision of Love’ Mariah. Be a damn professional.”
Luckily, I’m guessing, Mariah’s cameo has been cut from the film.
Courteney Cox was so into cosmetic surgery and “treatments” that for quite a few years she’s looked like Cher doing an impression of Jack Nicholson as The Joker.

Now, in New Beauty magazine Cox says she regrets turning her face into a swamp for fillers and Botox. She says she has taken her face back to natural and so she looks much more like Courteney Cox ... circa 1984.

Just sayin’.
Blac Chyna and Rob Kardastrophe wanted to be famous so they made a baby and turned their love mess into a reality show. But that got old; so they Reality-Show-Broke-Up and that became the show. Then that fizzled so their turned it into a Reality-Show-Custody-Battle over their 7-month-old daughter Kream Dream. That fizzled, too, so now they’re, ahem :::cough, cough::: Reality-Show-Back-Together and they let everyone ... the media ... know by filming a staged family date, on Father’s Day no less, at Disneyland.

How a Kardastrophe doesn’t spontaneously combust at Disneyland should be a show.
Cameron Douglas, Michael Douglas’s son with ex-wife, Diandra, is a mess.

He spent time in federal prison for trafficking meth, and then stayed for a longer time in the Big House because he continually tested positive for drugs while in jail. And he was also jailed for trying to sell meth to an undercover agent.

Yeah, a mess. So I guess it’s no surprise to hear that Cameron failed another drug test while on probation—after he was caught trying to cheat on it. According to court documents Cameron had marijuana in his system during a random drug screening in April and at a May probation hearing, officers told the judge that a lab tech accused Cameron of “attempting to manipulate the results” of his drug test by submitting “something that was not his urine.”

Three tests were given and the third came back positive for marijuana.

But, here’s the rich white son of an actor privilege, probation officers asked the judge to be lenient toward Cameron because “relapse is part of the recovery process.”

Um, let’s see; sells meth, goes to jail; in jail he tests positive for drugs; out of jail he tries to sell meth to a cop; back in jail he’s still doing drugs; released from jail, he tests positive again.

Think about Cameron Douglas being a young Black man from somewhere, whose parents aren’t rich and famous. Would he get as many chances or would he be serving life by now.

Uh huh.
Remember Hanson? Me neither. But I read this week that they were little pop stars a few years back and then kinda vanished because, well, Hanson.

Now, they’ve resurfaced and are coming for Justin Bieber.

Hanson, who are touring—apparently performing in Cracker Barrels around the US of A—recently went Down Under to appear in the Aussie version of a Cracker Barrel—the ‘Roo Shack? I dunno—and took part in a radio show game of Whose Song Is It Anyway? And when the Despacito remix—with Bieber singing[?] on it—was played, Hanson had no idea who it was and when they were told it was Bieber, Little Zac Hanson said:
“I prefer not to get any venereal diseases, so whenever Justin Bieber gets sort of near me or near my ears… it’s just ear infections, they’re terrible.”
His brother Isaac then chimed in:
“Chlamydia of the ear, it sucks.”
Well, not really, because one gets Chlamydia from sex, which is fun ... until you learn you have Chlamydia ... and listening to Bieber is anything but fun.

Get it straight, Hanson.
Miles Teller is an actor who was in ... oh, I don’t really care ... but I do know he was arrested last weekend after literally falling down drunk and refusing to cooperate with police.

Law enforcement sources say Teller was partying with friends in San Diego when an officer noticed he was having trouble standing; the officer walked up to Teller and started questioning him, but he quickly became uncooperative.

Then Teller lost his balance and nearly fell into the street so the officer cuffed him, and was going to take him to a detox center—where police take someone who is drunk so they can sleep it off—but Teller refused to go. At that point Teller could have been arrested, but ... white actor privilege ... police still took him to the detox center, where he was still uncooperative and the staff kicked him out.

So, Miles Teller was arrested for being drunk in public and spent Lindsay Lohan Time—about four hours—in jail but he decided to spin it like this ... via Twitter, of course:
“Went down to SD to see my buddy before he deployed. I wasn't arrested I was detained bc there was no evidence to charge me with a crime.”
Um, you were arrested, honey; perhaps you were too drunk to remember.
“Don't believe everything you read, especially from a third party entertainment news source trying to get clicks. Appreciate the concern.”
No concern. You’re just an entitled little drunk-ass actor who was in that movie ... oh, who cares.
A few weeks back word broke that a movie about Madonna’s life would be made and she went Madonna-shit all over Instagram about how dare people think they can tell her story.

And then, as if by magic, Madonna has decided to make her own film about her life and posted a make-up free selfie—because she’s a hardworking single mom, you know—on social media to reveal the news:
“A Woman’s work is never done!! 6 kids and many jobs = ratchet hair … Prepping my film not just whistling dixie!”
Seriously? Is anyone putting money into this sure-to-be mess? Madonna cannot act ... was anyone not listening to Patti LuPone ... and the only way I’d see this craptastic movie would be if Patti F**king LuPone plays the Material Girl.

I mean, since Madge ruined Evita for years to come, Patti can destroy Madonna ... and do so singing brilliantly.
So the new movie, All Eyez on Me, about Tupac Shakur, is not getting great buzz, and is especially getting reviled by one Jada Pinkett Smith. While she thinks the actors—Kat Graham plays young Jada and Demetrius Shipp Jr. is Tupac—were fine, she was all over social media with her complaints about the rest of the film:
“Forgive me… my relationship to Pac is too precious to me for the scenes in All Eyez On Me to stand as truth.”
She’s furious that a scene depicts Tupac reading her a poem:
“Pac never read me that poem. I didn't know that poem existed until it was printed in his book.”
Oh, how horrible that they did that Jada! Though I imagine it’s called creative license?
“Pac never said goodbye to me before leaving for LA. He had to leave abruptly and it wasn't to pursue his career.”
Again, this is awful? This is bad filmmaking? Sit down.
“I've never been to any of Pac's shows by his request. We never had an argument backstage. ... The reimagining of my relationship to Pac has been deeply hurtful.”
But that’s what most biopics are, Jada ... reimaginings. Seriously, find me one film about a real person that doesn’t change a few details and switch things around for dramatic effect.


I think Jada’s just mad that she and Will didn’t get to play the leads. So, again, Jada, sit down.
And ... back to Madge, who used social media, once again, to prove what a bitch she is, once again.

Taking to Instagram last Sunday, she posted a photo of her family with “Happy Mother’s Day” written across the top, in addition to a caption that made clear she knew exactly what day it was:
“And Happy Father’s Day to Me too because lets face it …………,,..,,,,,… Im the Mommy and the Daddy. I don’t care what the papers say.”
Lovely mother, you know, because her children, who have fathers, will see that bitchiness, but what does she care; it’s all about her.
Just days after a mistrial was declared in his sexual assault trial, Bill Cosby is said to be planning a motivational speaking tour ...

About what? How to drug and rape sixty women and not get arrested?

Oh, no, it’s not that at all. It’s about warning young athletes and even “married men” about the dangers of sex crime allegations.

Like I was saying ...
This hurts ... seriously. My favorite actor, three-time Oscar winner, Daniel Day-Lewis is retiring from acting.

It hurts. I have been a fan of DDL’s from the very beginning and am always amazed by his portrayals—from a young bleached blonde gay punk to freaking Abe Lincoln, and everything in between.

My Beautiful Laundrette. My Left Foot. In The Name Of The Father. The Unbearable Lightness of Being. Sunday, Bloody Sunday. A Room With A View. Gangs of New York. Nine. The Last of the Mohicans. There Will Be Blood. The Age of Innocence.

DDL has one last film set for release this fall: an untitled drama set in the world of high fashion directed by Paul Thomas Anderson.

Day-Lewis did not give a reason for his retirement but his spokeswoman, Leslee Dart said:
“Daniel Day-Lewis will no longer be working as an actor. He is immensely grateful to all of his collaborators and audiences over the many years. This is a private decision and neither he nor his representatives will make any further comment on this subject. ”
Day-Lewis is the only performer to ever win three best actor Oscars.

I’ll miss his films because all of them are brilliant.


the dogs' mother said...

The motivation speaking tour - gobsmaked!

anne marie in philly said...

has been bastards and bitches, except for DDL.

Helen Lashbrook said...

All the way through the article about rich famous daddy's little boy I kept thinking would they be this lenient towards someone who didn't have a rich famous daddy?

Raybeard said...

With you all the way on DDL. His standard of acting has always been an object lesson in 'how to do it'. There's simply never been another male screen actor so consistently fine.
I don't recall him in 'Sunday Bloody Sunday', but who would have noticed him way back then anyway? (I've not seen the film since it was released in 1971). I see he played 'child vandal - uncredited'! Possibly one of those 'blink and you miss him' appearances?

Harry Hamid said...

These always make me sad. In this case, it's sort of hard to look at what a couple of the celbrities have done to their faces (does anyone else find it uncomfortable to look at madonna these days?).

Maybe that's the right word, actually. Not sad. Uncomfortable.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I love Daniel Day-Lewis too. Thank goodness his legacy is on film.

Blobby said...

Madonna #1 - make up free? Stop! You're killing me!!!
Madonna #2 - you never see her, Waylon Flowers and Madame at the same place at the same time. I'm just sayin'......

Dave R said...

Madonna is soap, Daniel Day-Lewis is a fantasy come true and Jada Pinkett Smith is... come on, remind me again who she is.