I Didn't Say It ...

Jerrold Nadler, Democratic Senator from New York, saying _____’s firing of Comey could be “it”:

“If the president fired Comey because he asked for loyalty and hadn’t gotten it, because he had asked him to ease off on the investigation of [Michael] Flynn—because in effect he was asking him to ease off the investigation of possible collusion by the Trump campaign with the Russians in subverting the election—that would be obstruction of justice which is an impeachable offense.”

And rumor has it that Comey has the goods, so ... fingers crossed!

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Leon Panetta, former CIA Director and Defense Secretary, on _____: 

"Presidents are human beings, and they react emotionally to issues that bother them [but] you are the President of the United States. And your first responsibility is to be President. It’s not to react emotionally to issues that pop up every day. I don’t see anybody who’s got political experience, who has experience running a White House. I sense that there’s a lot of competing centers of power within the White House and it’s creating a chaotic background to try to support the President of the United States. And if that continues, I think this presidency is going to be chaotic into the future.”

Too many chiefs and not enough Indians, and a whole lotta asshats with ties to Russia.

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Kellyanne Conway, trying to shift focus away from Jared:

“This entire thing is just a rush to judgment. We have been talking about this for about 8 months and yet…it’s a lot easier to scream Russia, Russia, Russia every day.”

Um, Kellyanne, you ignorant slut, it’s because every f**king day we learn more and more people on your team have ties to Russia.

I’m begging to think your real name is Svetlana Conway.

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John Boehner, former House Speaker on _____:

"I was a little more optimistic about it early in the year; now my odds are 60/40. The border adjustment tax is deader than a doornail. Tax reform is just a bunch of happy talk.  Everything else he’s done has been a complete disaster. He’s still learning how to be president.”

And do we really want someone who’s learning how to do the job and then, every single day, proving he’s incapable of doing it?

That was a rhetorical question.

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Devin Nunes, blaming Russia investigation on Democrat sour grapes over Hillary Clinton’s loss: 

“The Democrats don’t want an investigation on Russia. They want an independent commission. Why do they want an independent commission? Because they want to continue the narrative that Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump are best friends, and that’s the reason that he won, because Hillary Clinton would have never lost on her own; it had to be someone else’s fault.”

Um, the Democrats want an independent commission because the GOP cannot be trusted to do anything other than support their party while the country burns,

The Democrats want an independent commission because people like Devin Nunes scurry like rats to the White House to warn _____ of the impending investigation.

Devin, you dickwad? Serve your country, not your party.

Or go home.

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Sean Spicer, White House Press Secretary and Punching Bag, trying to salvage _____’s Tweet about “covfefe”:

“The president and a small group of people know exactly what he meant.”

Um, yeah, it means the president cannot spell, cannot form a coherent sentence and spends too much time on Twitter.

Seriously, he’s an illiterate teenager.

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Tim Walberg, Republican Congressman from Michigan, on who can solve the problem of climate change:

“I believe there’s climate change. I believe there’s been climate change since the beginning of time. I believe there are cycles. Do I think man has some impact? Yeah, of course. Can man change the entire universe? No. Why do I believe that? Well, as a Christian, I believe that there is a creator in God who is much bigger than us. And I’m confident that, if there’s a real problem, he can take care of it.”

Seriously? Um, dick? If God can solve all the problems why hasn’t She fixed the water crisis in your state?

Or is She too busy helping singers win Grammys and actors win Oscars and athletes win world titles?

Siddown.

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