I Didn't Say It ...

Cher, on [t]Rump’s RNC promise to protect the LGBTQ community from the “oppression of a hateful foreign ideology”:

“Oh come on. He says those letters like a child that is just learning the alphabet. And then pokes his finger in the air for ‘Q.’ He is the most disingenuous man I’ve ever seen. And I want to tell you: my people will not believe him for a minute.”

The Great and Powerful Cher has spoken.

We will not vote [t]Rump.

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Jerry Falwell Jr., coming out for [t]Rump:

“We are at a crossroads where our first priority must be saving our nation. We need a leader with qualities that resemble those of Winston Churchill, and I believe that leader is Donald Trump. As Churchill did, Trump possesses the resolve to put his country first and to never give up in a world that is increasingly hostile to our values. Despite our differences, Americans from all walks of life must unite behind Trump and Indiana Gov. Mike Pence or suffer dire consequences. If Clinton appoints the next few Supreme Court justices, not only will the Second Amendment right to bear arms be effectively lost, but also activist judges will rewrite our Constitution in ways that would make it unrecognizable to our founders.”

Wait. What? [t]Rump is the ‘new’ Churchill?

Oh, honey, sit down. And, seriously, enough with the ‘they’re coming for your guns’ bull shiz; in the last eight years exactly how many guns has Obama confiscated?

Uh, that would be zero, moron.

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Amy Robach, GMA newsreader on the casting of Zendaya as Mary-Jane Watson in another Spider-Man reboot:

“We all know Hollywood has received recent and quite a bit of criticism for casting white actors in what one might assume would be reserved for colored people, is this potentially the industry trying to right itself?” 

WTF? ‘Colored people’? Has GMA gone all Good Morning 1955 America?

Robach did issue an apology, saying she meant to say “people of color” and added that the incident is “not at all a reflection of how I feel or speak in my everyday life.” I’m’a ponder that for a minute because it seemed to come out of her mouth a little too easily.

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Tony Perkins, leader of the Hate Group Family Research Council, walking back his assertion that God smites the Earth because of The Gays after God sent a flood to his house:

“Deceptive claims are being circulated on the internet that put words in my mouth about God’s role in natural disasters and what causes them. Those claims are inaccurate. What I have said, which I repeated yesterday in a sermon at Greenwell Springs Baptist Church, is that I don’t know what was behind this flood or any other natural disaster. However, as a follower of Jesus Christ, I believe the Bible which makes clear that God is sovereign over the elements of nature and can and does use them for His purposes.”

See what he did there?

He says he didn’t say it, but then he actually says what he says he didn’t say.

In 2015, Perkins agreed with Pastor Jonathan Cahn’s assessment that Hurricane Joaquin, which devastated parts of the Bahamas, was a sign of God’s unhappiness over, among other things, abortions and same-sex marriage … “God is trying to send us a message.”

God’s message to Tony Perkins is, “Sit down, fool.”

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