I swear, if I had a nickel for every time I make a bad joke, or said something inappropriate, I could probably bankroll Donald Trump’s next project … getting a hairpiece that doesn’t look like a muskrat crawled onto his bald dome and died.
So, yeah, I say the wrong thing sometimes, and sometimes I wish I had handlers who would stop me from putting my foot in my mouth, but I don’t. Ted Cruz, however, does have people who tell him what to say and still he manages to be utterly inappropriate at the wrong time.
Like in the days following the death of Vice President Joe Biden’s son Beau, when Cruz was campaigning … for the presidency, mind you … and said this:
“Joe Biden … You know what the nice thing is? You don’t even need a punch line. I promise you it works. At the next party you’re at, just walk up to someone and say, ‘Vice President Joe Biden,’ and just close your mouth. They will crack up laughing.”
Oh, so funny, though, in my mind, if you switch out Ted Cruz for Joe Biden the joke is a laugh riot because … Ted Cruz.
And even after that Biden "joke," and his subsequent apology, he still doesn’t get the idea that maybe he shouldn’t joke about things because, he’s not funny, and he doesn’t know when to make the joke.
Just two days after the shootings in Charleston that left nine people dead, Ted Cruz was campaigning … for the presidency, mind you … in Iowa and said this about guns:
"You know the great thing about the state of Iowa is, I'm pretty sure you all define gun control the same way we do in Texas — hitting what you aim at."
Guns are funny! But he doesn’t stop there and he tells a story about his wife’s love of machine guns … yes, machine guns:
"My wife, Heidi, who is a petite, 5'2 California blonde, she was standing at the tripod unloading the full machine gun with a pink baseball cap that said 'armed and fabulous.'"
And, in case you miss the irony of the jokes, think on this: Cruz has amped up his pro-gun rhetoric — making me wonder who’s funding his campaign … NRA — because he said these remarks at an Iowa shooting range in a room wallpapered in posters of guns.
Seriously. A racist walks into a Black church and guns down nine innocent people, and rather than talk about that, Ted Cruz makes jokes about “hitting your target” and his wife’s love of automatic weapons.
And he wants to be president, mind you.