Friday, April 11, 2014

Under The Gunn Ep 13: Finally The Finale

So, after last week when it was decide it wouldn’t be Three Finalists — as they’ve been saying all season — but Four Finalists, Tim stays with Sam, Asha, Shan and Oscar on the runway to lay out the Big Finale.

Three days! Five looks! $2500.00! And they will create this mini-collection to showcase their point-of-view. Naturally, since 5 looks in 3 days is hard, Tim will bring back former designtestants to help the finalists. Sam gets teamed with Blake — Go Gays! Oscar is paired with Natalia — he’s gonna school her! Asha gets Michelle — still smarting from her elimination. And Shan gets Stephanie — and it took me more than a minute to remember Stephanie.

As for the mentors, they each have their own strategies: Anya will let Shan be Shan, while Mondo feels it’s time to let his kids fly, and Nick, well, Nick says, ‘I have Oscar’ which doesn’t sound much like a strategy so Tim, once again, tells Nick how to mentor.

And then he brings out Product Placement™, in this case one Brian Bolain, the corporate marketing manager for Lexus™ to tell the designtestants that they get to go to Mood in a new Lexus™ and will win a new Lexus™ at the Lexus™ sponsored runway show. Lexus™.

I think I’ve fulfilled my responsibility to, wait for it, Lexus™.

So, let’s rip….
He decides that since his armor shattered last week he will do an armor-themed runway in which the first look is armor and then the armor fades away. Armor.

At Mood, he finds the bolt of shiny, grey nubby jacquard that he used on his first winning challenge and so naturally that means he should use it again rather than go with something new and fresh. At the critique, Mondo is less than thrilled, calling the looks The Legend of Zelda — which I had to Google so I could find out that it’s some kind of video game. Leave it to Mondo — who attended the finale in a Spy v. Spy costume — to create a most obscure reference.

Tim, on the other hand, loves Sam’s collection, and tells him to sell it to Mondo, which I hoped didn’t mean some sort of awkward strip-tease and a come on. But Sam says his looks are for all those teachers who told him he’s only end up designing for a department store, and Tim said it was a big F-U to those bastards!

Look # 1 is the hideous fabric as pants — sorry but the fabric looks too stiff and cheap and shiny to me, plus it’s kind of a sad gray, no? But I loved the jacket, which is edgy and cool.

Look #2 is a simple dress with the only interesting part being the neon stripe down the side and everyone knows that neon is — or should be — over.

Look # 3 is finally something sexy and cool, though the skirt seemed a bit lopsided and I don’t know it that was intentional.

Look # 4 is a sexy slouchy, kinda see-thru top over hand-painted shorts. I worried about Sam hand-painting fabric again since the last couple of times it looked a little bloody, but this time it was an interesting pattern in a better choice of colors.

Look # 5 is a nice dress, but, correct me if I’m wrong, isn’t it nearly identical to a dress Oscar made earlier in the season that Sam called too simple? Pot.Kettle.Maxidress.

Sam tells the judges — including the adorable Neil Patrick Harris [NPH] and Heidi Klum in Thigh High Red I’m The Boss Of This Bitch boots — that he designs ready-to-wear because he hates couture which is old and outdated; Heidi instantly leaps from her chair and stilettos him. But Sam says his style is more “Hipster Nonsense” which will be old and outdated by the time I finish this sentanc —

Heidi, seriously now, says she likes his collection; she calls it cool, cohesive and young. NPH loves the idea and the cohesiveness, but wonders if it isn’t a bit safe, and wonders what Sam would have done if he’d tried something a little more couture. Jen Rade loves the pants and the sexy long dress, and says there’s a market for Sam’s aesthetic, while Rachel Roy’s favorite look is the draped skirt. Zanna Roberts Rassi thinks the shift dress is a bit pedestrian save the neon stripe, and then calls the collection “wearable” which has never sounded like high praise to me.

She’s going to do what she’s calling her family style, AKA Nefertiti in Harlem which sounds like the 1971 blaxploitation flick a la Cleopatra Jones and the Casino of Gold which sounds a little like a female Indianan Jones film, eh?

And at Mood, Asha goes for every different kind of print and velvet and leather and shiny and bling and trim and maybe a cappuccino that $2500 can buy.

It’s hard work, you know, and as Mondo said when he saw the looks, Gurl, please. Actually he said the collection bordered on costume and Tim said she was trying too hard. Asha wondered why Mondo encouraged her to get all the different kinds of fabrics but never realized he didn’t tell her to use every single fabric in every single look.

Look # 1 — or as I called it The Jumpsuit Cher Wore When Chaz Was A Six-Year-Old Girl — is so dated and so old and, for the love of Norma Desmond, she’s slapped a turban on the girl’s head!

Look # 2 looks like a circus tent as skirt; albeit a wonky looking stiff skirt. I’ll give her props on the top though because that was cool.

Look # 3 is made from another shiny, hard, plastic looking fabric. I like the silhouette, which is sexy, but the fabric looks like the kind of fabric people with cats use to cover their sofas so if the cats pee on it, the urine beads up and can be wiped away.

Look # 4 is a much better use of the circus tent fabric. That jacket is very cool, but, I may be wrong, I’ve been wrong before, I think, but the leggings seem like a riff on something Shan showed — and his show came before Asha’s. Last week she co-opted his Steampunk look, and now she’s mimicking his leggings, though I will say hers turned out better.

Look # 5 is pretty and velvet and purple, but when the model has to carry the dress out to the side while she walks so she won’t trip and fall, that is not a good look. Plus, another mother%$&@ing turban!

Asha tells them she designs for ‘kick-ass’ women who want to be Nefertiti in Harlem. We get it!!! Zanna Roberts Rassi calls her designs next level which may or may not mean they can be find on a high sales rack at goodwill; I’m not sure. And both she and Jen Rade call that the jumpsuit “Bianca Jagger at Studio 54.” Rachel Roy says creativity trumps all else, but creativity that is unwearable and looks like Nefertiti at The Circus is just weird. Heidi calls the whole collection angry and confusing and too busy. NPH agrees, saying the whole shebang looked like A Fortune-Telling-Snake-Charmer-At-A-1920s-Circus-Carnival.
Nick suggests Oscar go to his roots in Cuba — obviously Nick is once again mentoring by telling the designer what do do — but Oscar wants to reboot some of the looks he’s already shown, including one from last week!

Oscar wants to go with fresh and glamorous, but fresh is not two looks you’ve already shown and glamorous is not another thigh-high split number. At the critique, Tim raises the question again about reusing, reshowing, remaking looks that have already been shown and Nick the Mentor just kinda stammers and mutters and, well, mentors.

Look # 1 is that slit to the highest part of the thighs dress, though it is stretched so tight, it reminds me of the Carol Burnett character, Mrs. Wiggins. Not good; the cape was nice, you know, because Oscar knows his way around a cape.

Look # 2 was Best In Show of all the designs shown last night. Elegant and chic and sexy. Had his collection been more inspired by this look and less inspired by retreads it would have been knock-out after knock-out.

Look # 3 was deceptively simple, with the top being kind of a wrap-around tablecloth, but the pants saving the day.

Look # 4 is That Coat that I thought was silly when he made it last week and still find it silly. The outfit beneath, though, is better than last week’s so … yeah.

Look #5 came very close to showing the “fine china” but I loved the color and the drama and the ease of it all.

Oscar told them he likes to “protect” women because they conceive life, which I cannot figure out what that has to do with fashion or even his collection.

Jen Rade loved sexy Look # 2, but did call Oscar out for ‘replicating’ other looks that she’d seen just about three days earlier; she also thought the originals, done with less money and time, were better. Heidi wasn’t keen on Look # 1 but she wanted to rip Look # 2 off the model and wear it to dinner with her new younger boyfriend du jour. Zanna Roberts Rassi said his collection made her feel underdressed. NPH didn’t mind that Oscar repeated the looks because maybe he didn’t have to sit through them twice?
Shan wants to do Leather and Lace, which I think means he’ll be designing for a Stevie Nicks and Don Henley video, because that’s the first thought that came into my head when I heard leather and lace; and I’m still humming it now and twirling my Inner Stevie.

He has decided that, at the finale, at his last show, he’s going to give the judges something completely new and different, so I guess his POV is ever-changing? I’m worried.

And Anya is worried too, because when she stops by to chat she calls the whole shebang kinda crafty, and not in that It’s A Good Thing Martha Stewart way. She reminds him to keep things eleganza; wait, that might have been RuPaul; it’s been a long TV week.

Look # 1 I liked at first, though I was confused if that was a skirt, o shorts or a long jacket. I liked the lace leggings; I didn’t like the leathery striped bandages on her legs.

Look # 2 is the cool and edgy ad sexy hard and sift look I think Shan was going for and had this been his jump-off point, he might have :::SPOILER ALERT:::  had a shot.

Look # 3 made my eyes hurt after two sort of dark and muted looks, be brings out the Red!! It was cool and sexy, and I loved the lace back, but the red was jarring.

Look # 4 was a great paring with Look # 2, though when separated by the Red Sea I’d almost forgotten Look # 2.  

Look # 5 had a bit more red, though not as shocking, and I liked it; it was kinda retro, kinda modern, and kinda sexy.

Jen Rade liked Look # 4, saying it best exemplified his Hard and Soft collection, but she wondered what happened to the Shan that used bold prints all season long; like I said, the Switcheroo POV at the last minute is never a good idea. Rachel Roy says Shan went overboard, with too much of a not-so-good thing; he needs to learn to edit and not throw lace and leather and leggings and bandages on everything.  Zanna Roberts Rassi also agrees that there is a lot going on and called the show discombobulated and too much. Heidi also called it too many fabrics and too many ideas, while NPH said the jarringly red jumpsuit shot the cohesiveness straight to hell.
The judges deliberate. Some say Asha should win because she’s shown the most growth; some say Sam should win because of his youthful POV; some say Oscar because he’s a master with scissors and sewing.

No one is saying Shan so, yeah, I got that one figured out.

Finally the designtestants return to the stage and Shan is instantly sent backstage. I’m thinking they’re going to go Asha and Oscar, but Nefertiti doesn’t make it to Final Two.

We’re down to Oscar and Sam. Oscar creates fabulous beautiful clothes; that’s his POV. Sam creates young modern clothes; that his POV.

The judges go for the glamour and Oscar wins the first season of Under the Gunn.
I hate the family visits; quit trying to tug on my heartstrings. There is no surprise in these visits and I keep waiting for the one family visit where a family member tells the designtestant, I always thought you’d end up in jail, not on TV because you normally suck at stuff instead of all that Oh, we knew he was special from the start bull shiz.

That said, how adorable were Shan’s kids? OMG! In those furry hats! And falling asleep at Daddy’s show? Yeah, that one, not so much I think.

I also think Oscar deserved to win because he’s been strong and completely finished every single time all season long. Oscar never sent down some glued and stapled and sewn onto the model looking crap, so he got big points for that.

His looks might have skewed older, and yes, the rebooting of past designs was wrong, but, as Zanna said, he’s a master.

Asha shouldn’t have been in the finale at all after a season of so-so designs — only the Zendaya look was good — and weeks of bad construction.

Sam got a bit pissy thinking about teachers who told him he could only design for department stores, but I think that’s kind of an apt description. His clothes were interesting and cool, but very young, and very taste specific.

Shan made beautiful clothes all season long and then decided at the last minute to do the change-up. Not smart at all, which is why he went home before Asha.

I was tired of Nick and his rainbow  array of dinner jackets and awful mentoring style and thought Mondo was the better mentor because he let his designers design, though he nudged them at the right times.

Anya seemed more cheerleader to me, but that was better than designing for the designers, eh Nick? And she missed the mark when saying she would let Shan be Shan and then let him change his whole POV at the last show.

I loved me some Tim Gunn, but man oh man these designtestants put him through the ringer. If you make Tim Gunn snap and shout and curse, then you know you’re outta line.

What did YOU think?


the dogs' mother said...

"Mondo — who attended the finale in a Spy v. Spy costume" Perfect description. He is *unique*....

I wore Asha's jumpsuit (not as low cut) in the late 70s (college colors as I was supposed to be a hostess in the VIP box. Ended up straining my foot in the homecoming game and on crutches - jumpsuit worn another day.)

I was in the kitchen cleaning up during the family visits that's how much I dislike them. (Kids excepted :-)

Looks like they already cast the next season of mentors - Korto, Mila and... Mondo's good friend... can't remember his name I think we was on All Stars this last time around.

SEAN (The Jeep Guy) said...

It wasn't until Tim said and Nick you'll win if Oscar wins that I realized that if wanting Oscar to win, meant that Nick won. I know, I just didn't think about it. Anyway, is was at that point that I was cheering for Sam to win so Nick wouldn't. Did you see his reaction? He was more excited than Oscar. I was expecting him to make a speech - after all his attempts he finally won - if you PR to the Under the Gunn name.

I'm really glad it's over. Do you think they'll have any on them on PR13?

Bob Slatten said...

@Sean I read that Shan tried out for the PR and wasn't chosen but was asked to do this season of UTG, so I don't think they'd let them cross-pollinate the shows.