The end is nigh! This is it! The Final Countdown! The last Ep. After a season of crazy — Sandro, Timothy, Ken and that Red Haired Gal whose name I’ve forgotten — it’s off to The Tents with Bradon, Dom, Alexandria and Justin.
And, finally, because I thought they were gonna sweep it under the rug last week after Tim’s subway fall, the Tide Pods Washable Tenth Look.
Let’s rip …
Best Move of the Show: Justin 86’s the awful wigs, and replaces them with other wigs that are a bit edgier and far less fugly.
WHAT I SAY:
Look 1: I liked, and called it simple and chic; Look 2 I called cute and simple; Look 3: asymmetrical and simple — I’m beginning to sense a theme. Look 4 was the Tide Pod Washable™ look, and while it fit well in the collection, I hated the shorter pant.
Look 5 was a winner, flirty and fun, while Look 6 was sleek and elegant and, yes, simple. Look 7: I loathe, loathe, LOATHE; Capri pants. Look 8 was cute and again simple, but suddenly we had sheer mullet overcoats or something. Look 9 was really Look 8 without the mullet, but keeping with the sheer.
Look 10 was my favorite, and not just because Justin said that when it walked it reminded him of the first time he heard rain.
WHAT THEY SAY:
The Adorable Zac Posen™ called it a beautiful collection; easy and feminine — does that mean the girls who wear these clothes are easy? And how would openly ‘mo’ Zac know?
Guest Judge, and Girlfriend-In-My-Head, Kerry Washington loved the sheer pieces because they brought a new different element to the show; that’s kinda like saying, it all looked the same until you wheeled out the sheers. But she did say she’d love the Soundwave Dress — Look 6 — in her closet.
Heidi thought it was a very polished show, and loved the Unconventional Look; she also loved the 3D printed accessories that seemed to tie the whole show together. Nina loved that there were different shapes, shorts, pants, dresses, all with some gentle architecture to them, but she felt Justin’s show could have used a couple of Wows!
Heidi again approved, and The Adorable Zac Posen™ said Justin’s construction was immaculate. Nina called his look creative and elegant; she loved the pocket — singular — in the pant — also singular; I always thought pants had pockets, but I’ll do what Nina says, as always. Kerry Washington loved the vest on Look 1 and how, when worn with the shirt created a very cool oval cutout in the back; it was modern and feminine.
Justin, while much improved, might need more time to hone his craft. He’s Auf’d.
Tim loved Bradon's collection during the critique, though he wondered if — since the Tide Pod Washable™ look had to be added — maybe that look should go; Bradon decided against it and I think that was a mistake.
Also a mistake was letting starving models eat and drink around your clothes at The Tents, because one of them — and I think she may have been taken out and shot — spilled coffee on a silk charmeuse gown. I say that like I know silk charmeuse from polyester charmeuse. I do not.
WHAT I SAY:
Look 1 was a misfire; the top have didn’t seem to match the bottom. Look 2 I dubbed Sexy Separates and loved that the bold print was only on the back of the jacket. Look 3? Oy! Those pants! I mean, have them on your yacht to attract helicopters when you’re lost at sea but don’t wear that much gold unless you have a new rap album coming out.
Look 4 was sexy and cool; great prints and that models legs went on for a full half hour. Look 5 the Tide Pod Washable3 was a complete throwaway. Bradon said you could toss it in the wash, but I think he meant trash. Hated it. Look 6 was a good use of the gold fabric — small doses only, please — and that great print, while Look 7, the Unconventional look, didn’t seem so unconventional; I think a close-up would have helped. Look 8 was like the Tide Look; it didn’t fit with anything else we saw.
Look 9 was my favorite of all his clothes last night, even though it had a little Uli in it — regular PR viewers will know what that means. Look 10 was pretty, out of place, and that golden ruffled shoulder was just grandma to me.
WHAT THEY SAY:
The Adorable Zac Posen™ loved the inspiration — crocuses growing in snow — but felt the first look missed the mark having been done in gold; he felt a white skirt would have fit the inspiration. He also said, and I quote: "Your hand is expressive and abstract, which is a great thing to have as an artist." Heidi, though, liked the gold skirt, and the frothy bottom — which sounds sexual, but maybe only to me? — and she really liked — in a Sally Field kinda way—the Unconventional Look. Kerry Washington agreed with Heidi, calling the first look masterful, while Nina was disappointed in Bradon, saying he’d lost some of his focus in the collection and that it lacked cohesion.
The Adorable Zac Posen™ said Bradon needed more time and experience — he’s only been at this a couple of years — but that he has a strong voice. Heidi again trumpeted the Unconventional Look and I wanted to hit her with a trumpet. Nina, though, said that the Unconventional Look should have been the genesis of the entire collection; focus, she said, focus!
Bradon, who I thought, after seeing some of the great things he made all season would have, should have, won, was Auf’d.
Alexandria listened to Tim — who replayed Nina’s advice — to get rid of the simple T-shirts under her jackets. It was good advice, but it doesn’t guarantee a win.
WHAT I SAY:
Look 1 was the Unconventional Look, made up of phone books — who knew phone books inspired such rage, but Alexandria hates them. It was a good start to a ‘Meh’ show. Look 2 was punk and cool, but it looked like a version of Looks 3, 5, 6 — the Tide Pod Washable™ look — 7 and 9, in different fabrics: jackets with cool closures, simple shirts and creative pants.
Look 4 was different because it was shorts; that’s all. Look 8 was a cool vest but I hate those sheer, napkin hemmed skirts because they always look like someone just through he fabric on the model and dubbed it a skirt.
Look 10 was different — a dress? — and it was by far my favorite. I loved the sheer because it wasn’t obviously sheer.
WHAT THEY SAY:
Heidi liked the collection, calling it hip and young and now; she loved the Phone Book Dress because it was unexpected and a Wow moment. The Adorable Zac Posen™ loved the show and the spice — Spice? Is bland a spice? — and attitude; he said it showed strength and vulnerability. Nina, who clearly was less than impressed last week, could only say that she liked the show and that it was well-styled and editorial; easy going and effortless. Translation: you didn’t work hard enough and you bored me. Big mistake. Huge. Kerry Washington loved all the separates and the mix-and-matchiness of the collection, which is to say, it wasn’t good but give me a minute and I could take one from Column A and one from Column B and make a look.
The Adorable Zac Posen™ said it was nice and clean and well-executed. Kerry Washington loved the asymmetry of the pant and the luxurious fabrics, while Heidi called it “sellable” which, even I know, is kind of a diss. The Adorable Zac Posen™ also said that Alexandria and Justin had very similar collections but Alexandria’s was better executed and had better textiles.
She beats Justin, but she’s Auf’d.
The show starts with Dom lamenting the Aufing of Helen and we heard her say that with Helen gone now, she’s a shoe-in to win. Really Dom? Helen’s Monochromatic Cape Fear Disaster collection was your biggest competition? I’m now officially worried.
And worried more when Tim wasn’t sure about Dom’s prints, especially on Look 3, which had long, over the fingers, sleeves, He worried that it looked cartoony.
WHAT IS SAY:
I loved the print on Look 1 though, with the hair, I got a very Diana Ross in Mahogany vibe which continued on for a spell. Look 2 was a great color, but that plastic raincoat took me back to first grade and that’s not good. Look 3 was the cartoon sleeves; it was too much of a good print. Look 4 was a sexy dress — except for the plastic peplum which didn’t go all the way round. I watched and rewound a couple of times and It.Didn’t.Go.All.The.Way.Around! WTF!
Look 5 was a fabulous use of the Look 3 print, and Look 6 was just awful. The Adorable Zac Posen™ said swimsuits in fashion shows are for straight guys. I disagree; I like a woman in a swimsuit, but when it looks like the one my Grandma wore to Venture beach in the 60s, I am not happy. Look 7 was completely Joan Collins in Dynasty; I seriously thought Linda Evans would appear and push her into the Carrington koi pond. Look 8 was very good.
Look 9 — the Tide Pod Washable™ — was by far my favorite. Sleek and sexy and perfectly suited to Dom’s collection. Look 10 — the Unconventional Look — was made from metal ‘L’ brackets and window screens and a big piece of the model’s ass; it was good, but I don’t need to see that.
WHAT THEY SAY:
Nina said, in her best Bette Davis voice: “This was a show!” But she wished Dom had opened with the purple jumpsuit and plastic coat number for that Wow! Kerry Washington loved the prints, tribal and modern. The Adorable Zac Posen™ said Dom’s inspiration, Retro Redux, was challenging, but she pulled it off — except for the swimsuit. He also said, and I loved this, "She's a very sophisticated lady. I don't think she knows how sophisticated she is yet." Heidi said she rocked the prints and she really loved the Unconventional look — though she made no mention of Model Butt.
Nina said the collection felt ‘now’ and Heidi agreed and said she loved the plastic. Oy! Kerry Washington loved that Dom makes her own print and The Adorable Zac Posen™ again said she was sophisticated.
After seeing the show it was a no-brainer. Dom gets the win and the tears.
I want them to stop asking the designtestants why they should win. I hate the ‘Because I deserve this’ moment because it implies no one else does. I hate the ‘I worked hard’ moment because it implies no one else does. I hate the tears and the ‘This is my life, my breath, my air’ moments.
That said, I’m glad Dom won. I wanted Bradon — and not just because of his cute butt — but he misfired and went to big and too much. I am over Alexandria crying and saying she will not be Number Two and worry about what she did after being named Number Two.
I loved loved loved Justin’s little giggle-snort when he stood backstage with Tim and watched his collection watch.
I’m waiting for Bradon to appear on PR All-Stars so he can get the win that everyone thought he was going to get last night.
And, speaking of All-Stars, the PR producers have scraped the bottom of the PR Barrel again and next week we get another All-Stars show with … and why is she the host … Alyssa Milano. And we get returnees like: Ari South — I don’t remember her at all — and Christopher Palu — who I just know schtupped Gunnar back in his season. Daniel Esquivel — of the bad facial and head hair; Irina Shabayeva — bitch — Jeffrey Sebelia — The Illustrated Man — Korto Momolu — loved her, ahted that she was pissed she didn’t win her season — Melissa Fleis — the Goth Barbie — and Mychael Knight, Seth Aaron Henderson and Viktor Luna — three of my favorite PR designtestants.
What did YOU think?
Are you ready for All-Stars?