Saturday, October 05, 2013

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

You know, when you thought Lindsay Lohan was all crazy and shiz, and then you met her family and thought, well, maybe they’re to blame for her lunacy, now comes the proof that the crazy isn’t just Lindsay but the whole gang.

It seems that Lohan’s half-sister Ashley Horn — one of Daddy Michael’s illegitimate offspring — has gotten a wide range of plastic surgery so she can look like … Lindsay Lohan.

Ashley’s surgeries — and while they are posed together somewhat alike, there isn’t much of a resemblance — cost around $25,000 which begs the question, Who the f**k is paying for this? Michael? Please, he denied this girl was his until a paternity test revealed she was his kid. Anyhoo, here’s Ashley, in her own Lohan-Insanity way, talking about her new look:
“I’ve gotten rhinoplasty, a bit of refinement underneath my cheeks and jawline, some fat injected into my chin and some fat injected into my upper cheeks. [...] I’m hotter than Lindsay! I have no problem saying that. … I’m not Lindsay. I wasn’t raised in that family. I don’t drink, do drugs or party. I like being a responsible person.”
Who, at age 19, spends 25K on plastic surgery to look like her famous sister.

Sheesh, even Ali Lohan had the surgery to look less like Lindsay.

From the Little Douche File …

Justin Bieber is a moron, a delusional moron, an over-paid, under-talented delusional moron. He doesn’t think rules apply to him, he dresses like a toddler whose diapers are always hanging out, and now he’s had his bodyguards carry him up the Great Wall of China because Justin don’t walk.

Can’t sing. Can’t dance. Can’t walk on his own. That’s talent in this day and age.

Mia Farrow gave an interview with Vanity Fair in which she took the time to continue to trash Woody Allen.

Now, don’t get riled up; Woody is a sad pathetic piece of work who, while with Mia Farrow, began schtupping his adopted daughter and then ended up marrying her.

Still, Mia, honey, let go. But she has more to dish on Woody, with a little slam at him as well. Mia drops a little bomb about son Ronan Farrow — named Satchel Allen at birth, he changed his name after Daddy started f**king his sister — and the question of his paternity.

Now Mia is implying that Ronan’s father could be her ex-husband Frank Sinatra, to whom she was married back in the 1960s and then ALLEGEDLY continued having drive-by sex with well into the 1980s — even after she hooked up with Woody.

Farrow discusses her relationship with Frank Sinatra, calling him the great love of her life, and saying, “We never really split up.” And, when asked point-blank if her biological son with Woody Allen, Ronan Farrow, may actually be the son of Frank Sinatra, Farrow answers, “Possibly.”

And when the interviewer went to ask Frank’s daughter, Nancy Sinatra Jr., about it, she said Ronan “is a big part of us, and we are blessed to have him in our lives.”

Sounds like everyone knows about Ronan’s daddy, except maybe the guy who was told he was the Daddy.

Man, whenever I start thinking about crazy people, I'm gonna back on this mess; the couple that gets together, has a child that might not be the father’s son, and then the father starts schtupping the daughter.

Lifetime? There’s a movie in the making!
Remember when Madonna was ... well, relevant?

I know it's been a while, but now it seems as though she's come full circle.  Now she's copying the people that copy her.

After some people went nutso about Miley Cyrus licking that sledgehammer in her Wrecking Ball video — while glossing over the whole riding the wrecking ball nekkid thing — Madonna has now Instagrammed a picture of herself licking a sword.

She's trying to one-up a girl young enough to be her granddaughter.

Stop it. Stop it now.
There’s always talk about the Kardastrophes but we never hear about Rob Kardashian. Is it because he doesn’t have a ginormous ass or a baby with an egotistical, might be gay, rap artist who calls himself Jesus? Is it because he isn’t married for TV to a crack-headed athlete? Is it because he’s boring?

Ding.Ding.Ding.

And even Robbie K. knows he’s boring. In an interview he says this:
“My job is — I make socks. That’s all I do. I don’t necessarily care about the show. I would rather film this — me doing what I do — than being around my family.”
Well, you gotta give him credit for getting of the K Train.
Justin Timberlake is a douche; not quite a douche of Kanye proportions, but a douche. And a tool. And, ALLEGEDLY, a cheater.

Back when Timberlake and Jessica Biel were dating he, ahem, again, ALLEGEDLY, cheated on her all the time, but she had no career to speak off and thought she could be the next Jennifer Garner-Affleck; a trophy wife who is talked about as being an actress but really just pumps out babies and takes them to the park.

Back to douche Justin.  While dating the future ex-Missus Timberlake, he was photographed making out with his backup dancers, and then he had a total affair with Olivia Munn who basically says it’s all true. But Jessica stayed with him and even agreed to marry him, even though the douche is strong with Justin, and now comes more cheating stories.

While in Rio de Janeiro for the Rock in Rio Festival in mid-September, reports surfaced that Justin once again cheated on Jessica Biel when he was spotted kissing married Brazilian actress Thaila Ayala, who fueled the fire when she posted an Instagram video of Justin performing at the festival with the caption: “A childhood dream – meet Justin and have him singing a foot in front of you.”

Sources — and it might be Dina Lohan who needs the money to pay her DUI lawyer and her foreclosure attorney — say Justin laughs it all off, but Missus Justin ain’t so sure:
“She flipped out… she’s afraid that Justin is incapable of controlling his impulses. She wants to believe that he’ll be faithful, but it’s hard to tune out all the chatter suggesting otherwise.”
Chatter and actions, I’m guessing. But, I’m also guessing that Justin likes the idea of married man so expect a baby JT to pop out in the next year, though, well, maybe, it won’t be with his wife.

Just sayin’.

6 comments:

mistress maddie said...

If you ask me the whole Lohan crew needs a" bit of refinement underneath" ! Mia looks terrible, mind ya, was she ever really a box of chocolates? Ronan has got to be Frank's son, otherwise how could he be as decent looking. Justin's bodyguards need to tell him to pile sand. You just now when off duty, he's the butt of their jokes! And nothing new from Madonna. She actually licked it first. In her Sex Book, she probably licked many a sword!

the dogs' mother said...

JustinB - there are just no words.

anne marie in philly said...

miss justine's bodyguards need to grow a pair and refuse this little shit anything he asks for. he's probably never heard the word NO before (kinda like the kartrashians and the lohans).

yeah, that kid is frank's...look at the blue eyes!

Huntress said...

The Lohans should officially change their name to the LOLhans because some of this stuff is just plain comical.

To see Beiber carried up the wall makes me think of the time Tim Gunn saw Anna Wintour carried down five flights of stairs.

Ronan is definitely Frank's son.

Jessica Biel may not be the best actress in the world, but she at least has a normal life and doesn't do anything kooky to get in The Enquirer every week. She deserves better than Justin.

Blobby said...

WHY do all articles keeps saying "Nancy Sinatra Jr.".

There is no Nancy Sinatra Sr. Does no one have an editor???

Bob Slatten said...

@Blobby

Nancy's mother was Frank's wife, also named Nancy, so, in effect, Mom was Nancy Sr. and daughter became Nancy Jr.