Kevin Grayson Comes Out

“People didn’t believe it because I was an athlete. They’re like ‘Kevin plays football, he plays basketball he runs track–no way you know?’ Those are the types of things where if I could go back and say; ‘Why can’t I be an athlete? Why can’t I be a star player? Why can’t I be the guy making plays that helps my team win, and still on the flip side, be a gay male?’”—Kevin Grayson

Yes, Kevin Grayson is all that, and gay, too. He is one of the most decorated football players Central Virginia has ever seen; he was named all district and all-region while playing both offense and defense at L.C. Bird High School, and in college he helped the University of Richmond Spiders win the Football Championship Subdivision national title in 2008. While playing professionally in Italy last year he was named MVP of his league’s super bowl.

Through all that, though, he kept that fact that he was gay a secret from many of his coaches and most of his teammates, except for a few trusted ones because he didn’t think he could be openly gay and be asked to play professional football in the United States.

Like most folks, he has “no doubt” that there are gay players currently playing in the NFL, and says he even knows a few, but, he admits that it’s still considered “one of those things where you meet someone and you find out about something it’s a ‘you take it to the grave’ type thing.” So, keeping that secret, and staying in the closet, while being a successful player, Kevin heard all kinds of ant-gay slurs, even though no one suspected he was gay.

“[Sometimes] it’s  just watching film. You know, it’s like ‘Stop being a princess, stop being a faggot,’ you know– ‘Homo!’”—Kevin Grayson

And he wondered how those coaches and players might feel if he came out to them; would their epithets stop? Would they increase? But he never came out to them, though he says it wasn’t due to embarrassment or shame, but because his focus was on school and football and any distraction would have put a spotlight on the entire team.

“You don’t want to be the focus in that way. Not to say that it’s a negative, but when you have people just asking questions about your sexuality and how teammates are taking it, it takes away from the importance of the preseason. If you are an athlete, you want to be an athlete. You want to be known for what you’ve done on the basketball court, football field, tennis court, whatever. You don’t want to be that person who it’s always ‘the “gay” athlete.’”—Kevin Grayson

That’s the issue I have with both the media, and many people in general. If you come out, you are no longer insert name here, you are Gay insert name here. Kevin Grayson wouldn’t be Kevin; he’d be The Gay Football Player. Some folks think that by coming out, we are somehow “announcing” our homosexuality, when, in fact, we aren’t the ones talking about it; they keep mentioning it and labeling us as The Gay whatever.

“It’s that extra pressure that you can’t even remotely show something that would lead someone to suspect you. So it makes it ten times harder.”—Kevin Grayson

Kevin relieved some of that pressure by slowly coming out to a few teammates, and was surprised to find some of them were gay as well. He was also surprised when no one to whom he confided shunned him, or turned their back on him, or outed him to anyone else. That’s when he decided to share his story, not only to help himself in his own journey, but to inspire others still living in the closet to follow him out.

“It’s like the biggest weight lifted off your shoulder. To know that you have a teammate that basically says ‘I don’t care.’ Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you can’t be the athlete you want to be. Doesn’t mean you can’t be a star. Doesn’t mean you can’t go out there and go just as hard as anybody else, if not harder.”—Kevin Grayson

So, Kevin Grayson, welcome out. And, naturally, we’d like to send you a copy of the Gay Agenda as well as HOMO HQ’s Coming Out Toaster Oven.

Welcome out, Kevin, welcome out.

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