Why Is It ...

… that people don’t understand that they shouldn’t be rude to me as my rude will out-rude your rude and I will make you cry.

… that I don’t know how some people can fake their feelings. I can’t even fake a Hello to someone I don’t like.

… that I love a piping hot cup of coffee on a cold morning because it warms up the evil in me.

… that since they say that age comes from wisdom, I tell people I don’t have wrinkles, I have wise cracks.

… that with age comes the ability not to give a rat’s ass.

… that I always tell people different stories about my life, so that when they gossip me they all start to argue.

… that I am not as unhinged as I could be and y’all should be grateful for that.

… that most people are scared to say stuff, but I’m not and that’s why only three people like me.