Tuesday, May 17, 2022

A Tale of Two Sickies

People are different; people are very different. Even after twenty-two years together, Carlos and I still have some definite differences, like in the way we manage being sick … hence a tale of two sickies.

I get sick and I want to be quiet, and to be left alone, and to sleep. A eek ago, when  I came home early, feeling sick, I crawled into bed, hoping to sleep a few hours and be left alone. Carlos decided that MaxGoldberg, on that new Kidney Diet, needed to eat, so just as I doze off, he comes into the room and starts searching for Max on the bed, pushing my leg and Calling, ‘Max.’ Nudging my arm and calling, ‘Max.’  Pushing me in the head and calling, ‘Max.’

So much for sleep.

Carlos, on the other hand, is like a child, and refuses to sleep. He’s now been sick about five days and if my Mary Tyler Moore Timeline™ is correct—three days coming, three days with you, and three days going—he should be on the downside this morning. Except he isn’t because, rather than sleep, he played solitaire on the computer; rather than sleep he organized his music on the iPad; rather than sleep he watched TCV.

So much for getting better.

Other differences? Carlos will tell you that he is sicker than anyone else. He told me so, that this cold is harder on him than it was on me. I say, but I took three days off work, curled up in bed, sleeping. No, his is worse. You know, because it’s his cold.

I am the patient who likes to be left alone—oh, sure Carlos make some delicious soup for me—and left to my own devices. I close the shades, pull the blankets over my head and sleep; at night, I swear by Nyquil because it knocks me out and gives me the most hallucinogenic dreams I can remember. I use cough drops, and Tylenol and cold drinks in the daytime and hot tea before bed.

Carlos drinks hot tea with lemon and turmeric—his miracle cure, which so far the only miracle I see is that I can scrub it out of a teacup that’s been left  on the counter yellowing for days. And he is needy; where’s that blanket he likes? Just a little more hot tea please. Have you seen my slippers—there were by his feet. Is there aspirin? Robbie Toosin; for those of you playing the Ricky Ricardo Board Game, that’s Robitussin. Oh, and as many of you also know, where’s the Bic Boppa Rue; Vic’s Vapor Rub. He will never , ever, take Nyquil because he says it’s addicting, even though I tell him he can get a good night’s sleep.

But the main difference? I shut up. I rest, drink plenty of fluids, and stick to myself. Carlos talks, and talks, and talks, and then apologizes for talking, and for being sick and, yes, for breathing because his throat is so raspy.

I also use humor, because laughter is the best medicine. When Carlos asks if he can get me anything, I reply, ‘You can get lost.’ When he says his throat is so sore he can barely speak, I fall to the floor and say, ‘Thank you Jesus! Silence at last!’

I don’t know about him, but it makes me feel better.

Every Sunday Carlos makes pancakes because Carlos loves pancakes. I like pancakes because Carlos loves making them, and it’s become a regularity around these parts. This past Sunday, he started making pancakes, and then called me to the kitchen, where I found him holding himself up on the counter and saying:

“Could you finish the coffee, please. I took on too much work this morning.”

I finish the coffee, though in my head, I’m thinking, he could have skipped the pancakes, he knows I don’t care, and I hear him say ….

“But I wanted to make pancakes for you.

I let that go, because the pancakes are for him; he is the sweets person, though, yes, I enjoy a weekly pancake. Then, as we eat, he apologizes for being sick, and being sicker than anyone else, and says he cannot eat the pancakes because his throat hurts too much and he needs to go back to bed.

“Then go back to bed.”

He does; after sipping his coffee to completion; after letting the dog in ; after setting the fans; after cleaning the litter box; after checking his phone; after commenting on the new blooms on his rose bush.

By this time, my eyes have rolled so far back into my head I can see behind me.

We’re different, the two sickies. I am Great Garbo, swathed in blankets and turbans and asking to be left alone. He is Needy McNeedlston, apologetic, and sicker than anyone else ever has been, and defiant about not letting a cold beat him so he won’t even get into bed because it’s daylight.

But, after twenty-two years, things have changed because this morning he asked me a question I’ve been waiting to hear for decades:

‘Do we have Nyquil?’

I may spike his coffee and tea with it all day and let him sleep and let me have some peace.

I’m a good husband.


40 comments:

  1. I don't get sick that often, but when I do, I'm much like Carlos, I can nap for so long and then I get bored.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I need a good long sleep, and a good night's sleep. Carlos always thinks sitting up in a chair and snoring is good. It's not.

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. It's funny how different we are and yet how we are still here after all these years!

      Delete
  3. I sympathise with you Bob; you are clearly exceptional as most men assume that no-one has ever suffered as they have suffered and this from a sex that has never given birth.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am stubborn and independent and want to take care of myself, but Carlos wants everyone to know he's sick, and sicker than anyone ever!!!

      Delete
  4. Anonymous11:41 AM

    Oxyclean works wonders on turmeric stains. I prefer using unscented Oxy on things used for food.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous11:44 AM

    Poor Carlos. You should be nicer to him! He sounds like a gem.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, I am nice; think of how mean I could be. I am just Nurse Ratched to him!

      Delete
  6. Laughing so hard right now! BH is you when he's sick and he's sick Carlos when he's well and has a drop of alcohol in him! After 47 years one would think I'd be used to it. It doesn't get better. You can leave us both alone to die when we're sick, but he gets all mother henny when I fall into the fever pit. I just want to be left alone with a good book and silence.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Carlos hovers; I watch and listen, and then step in when I need to, which is why he is banished to the guest room tonight.

      Delete
  7. Not only are you a wonderful husband to your drama queen husband, but you are funny as all get out!
    However, Carlos does remind me of my ex-husband ... another pathetic sickly yutz! Geez ... I hated him being sick more then even he hated being sick!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If we aren't laughing at one another then we shouldn't be here. Carlos just likes the drama of being sick and the cough cough sneeze hack snort of it all.

      Delete
  8. Best wishes for both of you in this
    *fun* time.
    xoxo :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm feeling better, he's got a couple of more days!
      xoxo

      Delete
  9. Im like you are. When im sick which is extremely rare...i go into my cocoon and what to be left alone in a dark cold room.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes!!! I just want darkness and coolness and quiet.

      Delete
  10. Barbara1:35 PM

    Friend calls what Carlos has a “Man Cold”.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wait until he mansplains the Man Cold! Oy!

      Delete
  11. You and I are cut from the same bolt of cloth, Bob! But I have a quirk. I want to be left alone, then I complain that everyone is ignoring me. Tim just grimaces in his nursely way and carries on. Tim gets sick and can only relax when he's surrounded by things he should be doing but ignores. He sleeps well on the couch with the TV on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't complain about being left alone because even when I ask to be left alone, Carlos comes into the room every half hour: How are you? Can I get you something? Did I wake you up??

      Delete
  12. I see a reality show in the making...It would keep us entertained---

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm telling you, sometimes it is TV worthy around here!

      Delete
  13. Hahaha
    OMG you need to write your memoirs. For real.
    Also, Nyquil is FANfuckingTASTIC. Nothing better. Go ahead, slip him a teaspoon and you'll see...

    XOXO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I swear by Nyquil because it knocks me out, and this morning, over breakfast, Carlos asked me where it was because he wants some tonight.
      Baby's first Nyquil!!!!
      xoxo

      Delete
  14. You poor thing, but this is HILARIOUS. I'm for spiking the tea. You are a Saint.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Oh, I feel for you! SG and I are very different, too, but not like that. I like to be left alone. He likes attention. However, he is the best nurse in the world and he laughs at himself and his worries. “Do I have a fever?” “What about now?” I brought root beer barrel candies home from the States for everyone a few years ago. An old favorite of mine that I thought everyone would love. All my Spanish friends said it tasted like Bicks Bappo Roob. It took me a bit to figure that one out. Be careful with the Nyquil. I took it. Once. Was up and wired the entire night. It turns out it “may cause sleeplessness”!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh gosh, Nyquil always puts me out and Carlos will be taking his first hit of it tonight. I hope he sleeps because if he doesn't I will never hear the end of it.

      Delete
  16. Amen, sweetpea! I'm just like you when I'm sick just let me sleep and leave me alone. But, I must admit that the MITM persisted enough to get me to the ER the last time I had "just a bad cold" and we found out it was PNEUMONIA that required a hospital stay!! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, sometimes you gotta listen to the hoverer!

      Delete
  17. My stepdaughter will use get sick, get my wife sick which gets me sick

    The only time the chain was different was when she got Covid-19 but very mildly

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well I passed it to Carlos and now we're just making sure he doesn't pass it back to me and then to him and on and on ...

      Delete
  18. The post of the week! Thank you, we needed this. I hope he sleeps well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Travel. He actually slept pretty good last night.

      Delete
  19. My ex, who I still care for, is the worst when it comes to being sick. Such a drama queen. I don't know what it's going to be like when I am stuck changing his diapers. I will probably go full-blown Baby Jane on his azz. Me? I curl up in a ball in the middle of my bed and don't want to move or speak or do anything. Sleep is the best medicine. Hope you're feeling all better. Kizzes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You sound just like me.
      Carlos is a drama queen, but mostly in that he wants everyone to know he is sick.
      PS we are both starting to feel human again!
      xoxo

      Delete
  20. Ha! It sounds like you two need a break after being locked up indoors with each other! I confess I am more like Carlos in that it is very hard for me to stop activity completely. I wouldn't do heavy work but organizing my photos on a computer, for example, seems like a perfectly reasonable sick-time activity. I'm not sure I'm a complainer, though. (Is it possible for a person to even hear their own complaints?)

    Dave is more like you -- he goes to bed and stays there, immobile, for hours. Sometimes even when he's perfectly healthy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think anyone hears their OWN complaints. I know I don't hear mine.

      Delete

Say anything, but keep it civil .......