Carlos and I rarely fight. Oh, we have disagreements and discussions, but they hardly ever escalate into some sort of yelling kinda thing; we generally agree on most things, and those that we don’t, well, in the end, he does it my way. I kid; we just compromise. But … after his recent hernia surgery, I made it clear he wasn’t to lift anything, and that included dogs and cats; he even slept in the guest room, door closed, to keep the cats from jumping on him.
We had his follow-up appointment with the surgeon last week, who was pleased with Carlos’ progress and happy he had very little pain. He gave the ‘OK’ for Carlos to resume playing the trumpet but cautioned him against lifting anything over twenty pounds for the next month or so.
And that’s the rub … we did the groceries and he tried to carry the bags. I reminded him that I would be carrying the bags, and once we got home, he could put things away. We went to CostCo and, again, he tried lifting a box filled with groceries and again I reminded him that I would be carry the boxes and once we got home, he could put things away. We also bought dog food—a fifty-pound bag because it was the only one they had—and AGAIN he tried to lift the bag and yada yada yada … We left the bag in the car because it was too big for the Pet Food Cupboard™, but on Sunday, I heard him in the garage, in the car, opening the back, and then coming inside.
He is NOT carrying that dog food, I thought. And then I heard the bag open and heard the contents being emptied into another container for storage and I went mad. But I held it in. I calmly did my thing. I went into the kitchen to fix dinner and when he came in, I got mad all over again, and to cover my anger I threw a spoon into the sink from across the room.
“Is something wrong?” He said oh … so … sweetly.
5 … 4… 3 … 2 … 1
"QUIT FUCKING LIFTING THINGS! THE DOCTOR TOLD YOU NOT TO LIFT ANYTHING, AND I’VE TOLD YOU TO LET ME DO IT AND YOU WON’T LISTEN. STOP PICKING STUFF UP!!”
“But I feel—”
“NO ONE CARES HOW YOU FEEL! YOU’RE NOT A DOCTOR! I DON’T WANT YOU TO HAVE TO UNDERGO SURGERY AGAIN JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU’RE SMARTER THAMN A DOCTOR. YOU’RE NOT.
“STOP.LIFTING.THINGS.”
Then I asked if he wanted chopped scallions on his soup, because once the rage was released, I was in a good mood.
Carlos, on the other hand, hasn’t lifted another thing.
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Melanie's only hanging around until the money runs down below the $1,000,000 mark (any time soon) and then she'll be off to make money off being the first FLOTUS to care for nothing but Melanie
ReplyDelete(Carlos) listen to Bob!
ReplyDeletexoxoxox :-)
You have proven tootes, your a queen not to be trifles with!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd no one ever claimed Melanie and the trump supporters were the brightest crayons in the box.
Chick fill a....not much to eat at in my mall. But if im straving,I'll go hungry the rest of the day before i eat there....even for just a drink.
DON'T LIFT THINGS, CARLOS! We all want you to get better without further surgery!
ReplyDeleteLove the 3 person attendance at "Straight Pride," those bozos. Was Pamela there?
Awwww, that's sweet anger, I can only hope that one day someone loves me enough to be angry with me like that. You guys should have make up sex now!
ReplyDeleteOh boy did you make me laugh with the "it's a gay bar Pamela" post.. hahaha!
I gave up trying to hate Jon Bon Jovi years ago, it's like hating a basket of puppies.
Melania was a model, they are not known for their math skills.
BAD CARLOS! listen to bob and your MD! don't make me put on my high heels and come down there to smack you upside the head!
ReplyDeleteJBJ does much charity work in my city; he is a blessing.
Tell Carlos that the internet doesn’t want him lifting things either!
ReplyDeleteI think Chick-fil-hate is horrible food. Never liked it before, don’t like it now.
Did anybody told those two straight guys they were on a DATE? 🤣
Pamela is a see you next Tuesday, like all trumpanzees.
XoXo
@Helen
ReplyDeleteYeah, I don't give too much time to Melanie. She made her bed yada yada yada
@TDM
I think he is,because I yelled loud enough to wake the dead!
@MM
That's right! As JC said, Don't fuck with me, fellas!
And I, too, have never set foot into a Chick-fil-ahole.
@Debra
Thanks for yelling!
I think Pamela would have fit right in with that crowd. Three IS a crowd, right?
@Steven
It was Love Anger, so it was all good. And we did make up a;most at once!
It's a Gay Pamela might be my new favorite phrase!
@AM
I will tell him you'll come down and open a can of whup ass on him!
And JBJ, hot AND compassionate.
And hot.
Just so you know, I lifted things all the time after my surgery... including a 118 lb boxer into the back of the car.
ReplyDeletePamela is a big part of the Republican equation for getting the Idiot Jerk re-elected.
The Idiot Jerk jumped off the Anti-Vaping bandwagon because the Vapers of American threatened to voted for someone else... How many vapers even know what an election is?
JBJ has always given back to the community.
@Sixpence
ReplyDeleteI believe he got the message loud and LOUDER!
@Dave
Pamels is my new go-to asshat.
Jerry and I had the same ”conversation” when I had MY hernia surgery. It’s a gay bar, Pamela. Right up there with Bye, Felicia.
ReplyDeleteYou’re almost as bossy as me...
ReplyDelete@ Mitchell
ReplyDeleteYes, It's a gay bar, Pamela is the new Bye Felicia!
@JP
I take that as a complement, and a challenge!