I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Solange Knowles, the 33-year-old sister of Beyoncé and her 56-year-old music video director, Alan Ferguson, have separated. It was confirmed on Instagram … cuz that’s how it’s done.

Who cares, right? Well, I kinda do because  she out-Goop’d Paltrow’s “conscious uncoupling” in the confirmation:

“the past 2 years have brought me more physical and spiritual transition and evolution than ever before my body left me with no choice but to listen and be still within that stillness i begin my journey in confronting my worst enemy, fear. ive lived my best and worst moments in front of the lens and gaze of the world since i was a teenager. ive always tried to live in my truth no matter how ugly or full of love it is. ive also tried to carve out the space to protect my heart, and my life as it unfolds, evolves, and changes. 11 years ago i met a phenomenal man who changed every existence of my life. early this year we separated and parted ways, (and tho it ain’t nan no body business) i find it necessary to protect the sacredness of my personal truth and to live in it fully just as I have before and will continue to do. it is unfair to not have power of your own story as you shape and mold and rewrite it yourself. a n–a ain’t perfect, but im leaning into the fear of the unknown and all the glory and power i know exist within god and the universes grace. may all of your transitions no matter how big or small, be kind to you and filled with incredible love and light!”

Wow, that was a word salad of epic proportions. She beats Goop in style, but Goop scored on literacy and punctuation.

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Poor Sarah Jessica Parker. First, her plans to make some big coins doing a third Sex and the City movie that no one asked for, were scuttled, and now someone has made off with her Halloween pumpkins.

SJP had driven all the way to the Berkshires for the right pumpkins and then displayed them on the stoop of her NYC home and someone stole them. And, so she did what all self-entitled people do, she took to social media to report the crime and, well, the wrong was righted when people began leaving pumpkins outside the Parker-Broderick home in an attempt to save Halloween for a One Percenter.

Seriously. She whines, and people bought pumpkins for her. I guess perhaps she really did need those SATC coins.

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Nicki Minaj loves a feud right up until someone throws a show, but, what did she expect folks to say when she decided to marry Kenneth Petty, a convicted sex offender? Enter loudmouth, unless it comes to her own drama, Wendy Williams, who decided she just can’t get beyond that whole sex offender business and is taking Nicki’s marriage to her snark corner. But did Williams go too far when she talked about Petty being a “killer” and a “sex offender“?

Perhaps; because Nicki took to her Queen Radio show to passive aggressively fire back about Wendy’s marital and substance abuse issues without even mentioning Williams by name:

“There are people who report the news and there are people who do it with an evil intent in their heart, viciousness. And I pray for you because I know you’re hurting and I know you must be sick and humiliated … I didn’t know that in our society, you have to be plagued by your past. I didn’t know that people can’t turn over a new leaf. I didn’t know that your viciousness and evilness was this deep rooted. When a woman isn’t really being loved at home, the viciousness is a different type. So I really wanted to pray for you today, because look at where you are now in your life. Look at what age you are. You’re sat up there being vicious all this time, and paid for that man’s mistress all these years. You paid for her shopping sprees, you paid for her hotels, you probably even paid for her GYN bills, you paid to have that baby delivered, hoe… If I were you, I would go and pray, ask for forgiveness. You can report the news–people do it all the time–without the level of viciousness and trying to play dumb and doing all this nonsense … How you doin’, stupid?”

Okay, passive aggressive until that last Wendy Williams™ line. And not a single shoe was thrown.

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Katharine McPhee recently penned a sweet tribute to husband David Foster, who celebrated his 70th birthday:

“I’ve known this man for 13 years now! What was once a working relationship became a friendship and ultimately led us here. Anyone who meets him talks about how charming he is, so much so that he eventually charmed his way into my heart.”

Well, he had the time because he is literally twice her age.

And he had the experience because McPhee is the fifth Missus Foster. Don’t hold your breath for everlasting love.

Just sayin’.

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Bill Murray recently went on Amy Schumer’s podcast and he talked about his dream job: working at P.F. Chang’s.

Oh, but he did, and it’s not just any P.F. Chang’s, it’s the one inside the Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport:

“I did fill out an application at P.F. Chang’s at the Atlanta airport, because I think it’s one of the best places. It looks like they are having the best time working at P.F. Chang’s.”

I can almost picture it, but then I picture the Bill Murray who ALLEGDLY threw an ashtray at his What About Bob co-star Richard Dreyfuss and wonder how Murray might react to the guest who complains about cold Won Ton Soup.

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