I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

This past season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills saw the exit of fan favorite—and my personal BFF-In-My-Head—Lisa Vanderpump. But fear not, RHoBH fans, someone has stepped forward to say she would like to fill LVP’s stilettoes.

Tori Spelling. I know! Spelling recently sat down with Jenny McCarthy on her SiriusXM show to promote yet another reboot of BH90210 to say she’d be perfect for the RHoBH franchise. Yeah, maybe if they renamed it Brokeass Housewives Who Used To Live In Beverly Hills But Now Live In The Valley.

Take a seat, Tori. I’ll be the newest housewife on that show before they ever call you.

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Ever since Faye Dunaway played Joan Crawford I feel as if she’s been possessed by the former movie star. I mean, she’s turned into a raging diva and now she’s been fired from an upcoming Broadway show.

A one-woman show! They fired the only person in the cast! Dunaway was supposed to play Katharine Hepburn in the one-woman show Tea at Five and now she’s been let go, dumped, fired, canned because she couldn’t work well with others.

The producers announced that they have “terminated” their “relationship ” with Dunaway and there are loads of ALLEGED reasons … like the night Dunaway attacked crew members as they tried to put on her wig … like the night a performance was canceled because Dunaway slapped and threw things at crew members who were trying to put on her wig … like her constant tardiness … like her demand that no one wear white in rehearsals because it distracted her … like her rambling, angry voicemails to the creative team … like the photo shoot where she ALLEGEDLY fed her salad to the floor because she was trying to lose weight  and said the salad would be better on the floor than in her hand.

When Dunaway began to lose more and more weight, an assistant thought that it was due to her not taking her meds and producers called Actors’ Equity to see if it was “ethical” to put an actress in her state on stage every night; Actors’ Equity ruled that it was because she went on that night, but the crazy continued.

Dunaway refused to learn her lines and 98% of the script was fed to her through an earpiece … much like Crawford did in the last years of her career. And then came the full Mommie Dearest moment when she demanded that staffers at the Huntington Theater get down on their hands and knees and scrub the floor of her dressing room; she ALLEGEDLY threw mirrors, combs and boxes of hairpins at the staff of the theater and then pulled all the gray hairs out of that wig she couldn’t get into without help because she wanted to play a younger version of Hepburn than the playwright had written.

As I said, Possessed By Crawford. Maybe someone should write that play and then just let Faye run with it?

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We’ve all heard about what a diva Constance Wu has become, from throwing a TwitFit™ after learning that the show that made her a mediocre star, Fresh  Off The Boat, was renewed and now there’s talk that she was a menace on the set of  JLo’s newest movie bomb, Hustlers. Wu ALLEGEDLY demanded top billing over Lopez, who is not only the star of the dud, but a producer as well.

In fact, Wu was labeled a bigger diva than both JLo and her other co-star Cardi B.

Seriously, how much of a menace are you that people complain more about you than JLo or Cardi?

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For the past few years Mo’Nique has been waging a war against Oprah Winfrey, Lee Daniels and Tyler Perry for ALLEGEDLY being blackballed in Hollywood after winning an Oscar for Precious. She accused Daniels and Perry of treating her poorly and keeping her from getting work by calling her “difficult.” And while many thought her beef with Big O was Oprah not liking that Mo’Nique was speaking her mind, now comes the real tea: her anger comes from an interview Oprah did with her conniving family back in 2010.

Apparently Mo’Nique and her family do not get along, and she told this to Oprah after being approached by Winfrey’s show about having her brother Gerald Imes on for an interview. Mo’ has been vocal about the sexual abuse she suffered from Gerald as a child and declined to be a part of the interview. But then she learned that not only was Oprah having Imes on, but had also invited her parents and another brother to join the interview:

“Now the reason why that means so much is because in the conversation we had about my brother, we then went deeper and we began to talk about our relationships with our mothers and our fathers, and I shared my relationship with her about my mother. I shared with her that me and my mother were not talking. I shared with her that we were in a really bad place. I shared with her that I was hurt and trying to figure this thing out. She never said my mother was coming on the show, because had she, Oprah Winfrey, said ‘I’m going to have your mother,’ I would have said, ‘Shut it down.’ … I don’t need the world seeing how greedy my mother is.”

Mo’Nique’s husband/manager Sidney Hicks thought she should confront Oprah at the time, but she didn’t until.years later at an Oscar party hosted by Alfre Woodard:

“I looked to Oprah Winfrey and I said, ‘You know you and I need to have this conversation. Why would you have my mother on your show? … How could you have my mother on your show? That’s not what we discussed.’”

And Oprah, being so full of herself, and processed cheese, said:

“If you think I did something wrong, then I apologize.”

Not an apology, but a faux-pology; an O-pology, because Oprah can do no wrong in her own bloated head.

And so Mo’Nique will be carrying that grudge until she gets a public apology from Oprah. And it’ll be a cold day in Hell before Winfrey does that … unless her handlers refuse to give her any more second helpings.

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Not a good summer for Katy Perry and it makes me so sad … bwahahahahaha!

Perry found out she was on the hook for hundreds of thousands of dollars after it was revealed that she ripped off a Christian rock song for her song Dark Horse.

And then, Josh Kloss, one of the male models from one of Katy’s earliest hits, Teenage Dream, revealed that working with Perry, even all those years ago, was horrible and awkward and that Katy humiliated him by exposing his junk to people at a party. Josh took his Perry beef to Instagram:

“You know. After I met Katy, we sang a worship song, “open the eyes of my heart” She was cool and kind. When other people were around she was cold as ice even called the act of kissing me “gross” to the entire set while filming.

…

So I saw Katy a couple times after her break up with Russel [sic] This one time I brought a friend who was dying to meet her. It was Johny Wujek’s birthday party at moonlight roller way. And when I saw her, we hugged and she was still my crush. But as I turned to introduce my friend, she pulled my Adidas sweats and underwear out as far as she could to show a couple of her guy friends and the crowd around us, my penis.

I just say this now because our culture is set on proving men of power are perverse. But females with power are just as disgusting.”

I was feeling bad for Josh, being treated like that by a hack like Katy Perry, but he lost me when he also claimed that … ick … Kim Kardastrophe and That Woman are much kinder people and deserve the Katy-stans support more than Katy does.

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Meanwhile, back to Joan Crawford 2.0, AKA Faye Dunaway.

After being fired from her one-woman show, Dunaway is also being sued by her former personal assistant, Michael Rocha, for the way she treated him.

Rocha, who is gay, says Dunaway berated him constantly, calling him “a little homosexual boy” and that when he complained, he was fired.

Rocha began working for Dunaway when she began working on Tea at Five and was tasked with shopping, helping Dunaway take her meds, arranging her schedule and getting her to and from rehearsals.

Rocha now ALLEGES that Dunaway “regularly and relentlessly subjected plaintiff to abusive demeaning tirades” and used his sexual orientation as a gay man to “demean and humiliate him at work.” He says Dunaway called him and other workers “little gay people” and later that month called him “a little homosexual boy.”

And he has her on tape saying it. Rocha reported it to the general manager and general counsel for the one-woman play, and gave them the tape of the offensive comment. Two weeks later he was told that Dunaway “is not comfortable with you anymore” and he was fired.

Luckily, perhaps, he got some sort of revenge, because a few weeks after his termination, the producers sent Faye Dunaway packing. And now she’ll have even fewer coins to offer up in Rocha’s lawsuit.

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