I Didn't Say It ...

John Oliver, host of Last Week Tonight, on Donald’s locker room buddy Billy Bush:

“And incidentally, fuck Billy Bush. Fuck that guy. Fuck him. Fuck him. … It is gross enough that he’s serving as Donald Trump’s hug-pimp but let’s not gloss over the fact that he just said ‘How about a little hug for the Bushy.’ A phrase that, if it is not already, should be a felony offense in all 50 states.”

It now appears that Billy bragged to coworkers at NBC about the tape because he thought his voice had been edited out.

Buh-bye, Billy.

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President Barack Obama, on Donald’s latest gaffe:

"One of the most disturbing things about this election is just the unbelievable rhetoric coming at the top of the Republican ticket. I don't need to repeat it. There are children in the room. Demeaning women, degrading women, but also minorities, immigrants, people of other faiths, mocking the disabled, insulting our troops, insulting our veterans. That tells you a couple things. It tells you that he's insecure enough that he pumps himself up by putting other people down—not a character trait that I would advise for somebody in the Oval Office.”

Four.More.Years!

I wish.

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Glenn Beck, endorsing Hillary Clinton:

“It is not acceptable to ask a moral, dignified man to cast his vote to help elect an immoral man who is absent decency or dignity. If the consequence of standing against Trump and for principles is indeed the election of Hillary Clinton, so be it. At least it is a moral, ethical choice.”

Is that Hell freezing over? Glenn Beck may vote Blue?

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Rudy Giuliani, saying he didn't see Hillary Clinton on 9/11, right before a photo emerged showing the two standing side-by-side:

“Don’t tell me if you said that you remember September 11, 2001. I remember September 11, 2001. Yes, yes, you helped to get benefits for the people who were injured that day. But I heard her say that she was there that day. I was there that day, I don’t remember seeing Hillary Clinton there.”

Except, ya did, Rudy, ya did see her down there.

And you wouldn’t know the difference between the truth and a lie if the truth bitchslapped for five hours straight you pandering disgrace of a human being.

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Chris Kluwe, former NFL player and LGBT rights activist, speaking to Donald in an OpEd:

“I was in an NFL locker room for eight years, the very definition of the macho, alpha male environment you’re so feebly trying to evoke to protect yourself, and not once did anyone approach your breathtaking depths of arrogant imbecility. Oh, sure, we had some dumb guys, and some guys I wouldn’t want to hang out with on any sort of regular basis, but we never had anyone say anything as foul and demeaning as you did on that tape, and, hell, I played a couple years with a guy who later turned out to be a serial rapist. Even he never talked like that. We talk about women (and sex!). We talk about wives, sisters, mothers, daughters, fans, and groupies. Most guys respect women, some guys don’t, but never have I heard anyone use your particularly disgusting brand of sadism that refers to women as objects and not people. Even the most debauched club-hopping party animal talks about women more civilly than you. We don’t let each other talk like that about women, because it lessens our humanity, and even though we’re modern-day gladiators, we still hold ourselves accountable to the idea of basic human decency. We talk about jokes. Clean jokes, dirty jokes, jokes that are in between. Hell, I made a joke about Penn State that got me in trouble years later, because someone thought I was attacking the victims instead of the institution that allowed such depravity to happen. You know what I did? I apologized. I said I was sorry. I didn’t apologize with ‘if your feelings were hurt by it’; I didn’t try to deflect it by attacking someone else, or their spouse; I didn’t lie to an entire nation on live TV and say, ‘Nope, that never happened.’ I simply said, ‘I’m sorry, I made a mistake, I’m accountable, I’ll do better next time.’ The next time you want to claim that something is ‘locker room talk,’ take a moment to recognize the fact that were you in an actual locker room, you would be universally reviled as a cancerous, egotistical train wreck of a disgrace that no team could possibly find the time to employ and, honestly, would never even have on their draft board to begin with. I’ve been in locker rooms, Donald, and you’re the type of narcissistic, pants-soiling fecal eruption that just doesn’t belong. Even football players are smart enough to know that.”

Per.Fection.

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