Nothing Comes Between a Woman And Her Yoga Pants ... Alan Sorrentino Learns A Lesson

Don’t ever try to come between a woman and her yoga pants … because you can’t.

And Alan Sorrentino found that out the hard way after writing a letter to the editor of the Barrington Times: 

"To the editor:

The absolute worst thing to ever happen in women fashion is the recent development of yoga pants as daily wear outside the yoga studio. 

Not since the mini-skirt has there been something worn by so many women who should never have it on in the first place. 

From casual to formal, weddings, funerals, shopping, and even for the workplace, yoga pants are everywhere on women of all ages, usually paired with a blousy top and a pony tail hairdo. What a disaster!

Like the mini-skirt, yoga pants can be adorable on children and young women who have the benefit of nature's blessing of youth. However, on mature, adult women there is something bizarre and disturbing about the appearance they make in public. Maybe it's the unforgiving perspective they provide, inappropriate for general consumption, TMI, or the spector [sic] of someone coping poorly with their weight or advancing age that makes yoga pants so weird in public. 

A nice pair of tailored slacks, jeans, or anything else would be better than those stinky, tacky, ridiculous looking yoga pants. They do nothing to compliment a women over 20 years old. In fact, the look is bad. Do yourself a favor, grow up and stop wearing them in public.

Besides, why would you want to wear something that's seen on dozens of other women every day, everywhere? I thought women didn't like doing that for obvious reasons. Yoga pants belong in the yoga studio. What's next? Wearing a "Speedo" to the supermarket? Imagine if men did that. Yuck!

To all yoga pant wearers, I struggle with my own physicality as I age. I don't want to struggle with yours.

Thanks,

Alan Sorrentino

Barrington"

After Sorrentino’s letter appeared in the paper, Jamie Patrice, a local woman, organized a Yoga Pants Parade that marched right down Sorrentino’s street and in front of his house.

“I want women of all ages, shapes and sizes to know that it is okay to wear whatever makes them feel comfortable.”

Patrice says she created the parade not to attack Sorrentino, but to protest the constant criticism of women’s bodies.

“While yoga pants seem to be a silly thing to fight for, they are representative of something much bigger — Misogyny and the history of men policing womens bodies.”

The parade drew a large crowd — women and men, some in yoga pants — who quietly marched past Sorrentino’s house, where he had put up a sign that said “FREE SPEECH.”

Funny that Sorrentino cries Free Speech as a reason for his letter and as an argument against people marching by his house, which is also Free Speech.

Here’s the deal … no one would have heard about this were it not for our new viral society where a letter to the editor of a local paper becomes the center of the universe. And then spawns outrage and a parade and, well, a walk-back by Alan Sorrentino, who now claims his letter was meant as a joke, and that the response has been “over-the-top crazy.”

Um, Alan, reread your letter, m’kay because it’s missing humor and sarcasm and anything else that would make it seem like a joke.

Sorrentino says he “assumed the character of a grumpy old man” for the letter and said it was “meant to sound stupid and creepy.”

He was half-right.

And Sorrentino is continuing to play the victim, saying that “to target somebody's home for a letter in the paper is disgusting. A joke is designed to fool people; those people were fooled.”

Oh, Al! May I call you AL? People walking down the street, even three hundred people, aren’t targeting your house; it’s a parade; it’s a march; it’s people out for a walk.

Sounds like you don’t get the humor of it all.

Sorrentino claims he has received death threats since his letter went viral and that’s just as stupid; he’s allowed to have an opinion, and send it in letter form to a newspaper, and those who find his opinion idiotic have the right to gather and march down his street, peacefully and quietly as they did.

Sorrentino now says that he has no problem with yoga pants and even owns a pair himself:

“Wear the yoga pants all you want, but if you knew what guys were saying behind your back when you had them on, maybe you wouldn't.”

Keep stepping in it, Al.

EastBayRI

Daily Mail