It's Snarkurday!

After last week’s ALLEGED shooting, or at least hostage-taking, incident at Chris Brown’s house, he announced he was done with partying at home.

I guess that means all the criminal activity will go back to the streets? Or maybe at USC; see, this week Chris showed up at Power 106’s annual All-Star Celebrity Basketball Game yesterday at USC started off refusing to stand for the National Anthem — he’s a dick, you know, but that’s his right, right?

But, rather than keeping his mouth shut during the anthem, Brown laughed with his friends and made faces at people because, you know, not an adult. And then he started a fight with a stranger because he believed the person was sitting where they shouldn’t sit … which would be near Chris Brown.

Eventually the police got involved and broke up the fight before Chris could go Full Metal Brown on anyone, but it begs the question: if he’s not gonna stay home and party do we need more police on the streets to protect strangers from this little bitch and his ego?

To prove that she’s not all brokenhearted over her break-up of her “fauxmance” with Tom Hiddleston, Taylor Swift went out last night … with a girlfriend who was on a date with her boyfriend.

I guess if she can’t get and keep a man, she’ll just go Third Wheel on your date.

Remember when music service Tidal hit last year and everyone was all, Ooh, Jay Z and Bey are the King and Queen of all things? Yeah, not so much. It’s ALLEGEDLY a disaster.

Tidal has let go of its CEO and 25 employees and then began firing others, and so now, Jay Z is said to be suing Tidal’s previous owners for inflating the number of subscribers they claimed they had.

Um, it’s called due diligence, Jay, meaning you should’a looked into it before you decided to make millions off it. Maybe you would have seen no subscribers and the millions of dollars lost last year.  And maybe you and Bey wouldn’t have to be downsizing from the gold chains and the weaves about now.

Amber Heard’s friend, the oddly named iO Tillett Wright has been dogging Johnny Depp all the way through the mess of Amber and Johnny’s marriage and divorce, even writing an essay about it last June.

iO said he lived with Amber and Johnny for about a year, and knew Johnny to be a gentle soul with a temper until drunken and drugged Jonny went nuts. And now iO is saying that it actually cost Amber money to be married to Johnny.

iO ALLEGEDLY is still very close with Amber but not so much with Johnny — shocking, right? — but says that when this d-i-saster of a marriage was finally allowed to die, and Amber was given $7 million — which she says she gave away to charity — iO is saying that never happened and that poor Amber had to pay all of her own legal fees.

Poor Amber. A couple of years ago no one even knew her name and now she’s all the rage, so if she had to pay her own legal bills to get out of her marriage, too bad, and if she didn’t get the $7 million, maybe she should have waited to give it all away and paid her own bills.

Back in 2015, Drake appeared on a track by Future called “Where Ya At” in which he rapped:

“I’ll buy the neighbor’s house if they complain about the noise.”

And apparently that’s true;  Drake bought a seven-bedroom mansion four years ago and this summer he bought the four-bedroom house next door.

Now, I dunno if he bought the house because the neighbors complained, but I would like to know if he wants to buy the house next to me, play his music loud and then buy my house.

Earlier we discussed Third Wheel Swifty going on date’s with her BFFs and their boyfriends and it looks like that is over before it became a habit … and an album of teenage angsty songs.

See, Swifty wants a new man and, like she did with Tom Hiddleston—setting her sights on him and hunting him down like a dentist on safari — Taylor Swift now wants Zac Efron.

A source — and you know it’s Swifty — says,“[Swift] has been talking about him nonstop since her breakup with Tom. She’s always said she feels a strong connection to Zac, but could never act on it because they’ve always been dating other people.”

Except when Calvin dumped her and she bagged Hiddleston; I guess Zac wasn’t on her radar then?

Seriously, isn’t there a law against serial murder, because Taylor Swift and her constant dating and breakups are murdering all of us with the "music" it makes.

For his part, though, Zac Efron is said to have gone into hiding until Taylor spots something shiny and loses interest in him.

So, Naya Rivera, formerly of Glee before she was fired, not-fired, doesn’t have much going on so she write a book! And she is spilling the tea.

In  2014, Naya was dating Big Sean — they were Kim and Kanye Lite — until their relationship ended because Big Sean liked to let Little Sean out to play … ALLEGEDLY.

But, right after breaking up with Naya, Big Sean started dating pipsqueaker, donut-licker Ariana Grande and in her new book, Sorry, Not Sorry, Naya is telling all about it.

Naya says she and Big Sean had been fighting for five days straight while he was away and when he returned home she went to see him, though he didn’t let her into his house; well, she sued her keys and says she walked into his home and spotted a “little girl” … oh, the shade of it all … on the couch listening to music.  Naya won’t say the girl’s name but actually did say it rhymes with, wait for it, “Smariana Schmande.”

Smariana Schmande! I love it.

And Naya also dishes on her former Glee co-star Smea Smichele — okay, she calls her out by her real name Lea Michelle — and admits they weren’t friend, especially after Naya’s role on the show became more prominent:

“As the show progressed, though, that friendship started to break down, especially as Santana moved from a background character to one with bigger plot lines and more screen time. I think Rachel – erm, I mean Lea – didn’t like sharing the spotlight … Lea and I definitely weren’t the best of friends, and I doubt we’ll ever sit on her couch and eat kale together again, but the rumors of our ‘feud’ were blown out of proportion.”

Yeah, I don’t think so. I think Smea Smichele might join forces with Smariana Schmande and do a Naya Rivera take-down.