PR 15 Ep 2: Just Half Are Fabulous

This week Heidi sends the designtestants to the park, to meet Tim Gunn and Traci Inglis, Chief Marketing Officer of JustFab, so this must be the, wait for it, JustFab Challenge.

Try to put one over on me, will ya! I know you all too well, PR producers!

Tim and Traci give the designtestants the low-down on the JustFab woman and suddenly women, JustFab women, start swarming the waterfront. I was thinking “Are they designing for these hundreds of women?” and then I thought, “Team challenge?” But, no; the designtestants will, in one day and will $150, design a look for the everyday woman, and for every woman, age and body shape. And, because this is a Product Placement Challenge™, the winning look will be reproduced — and no doubt modified — and sold on JustFab.com.

The designtestants sketch alongside the East River and then get their first Mood sighting, and Swatch sighting, where we learn that Laurence will not be running through the store because she twisted her ankle while twerking.

Seriously … but let’s rip anyway …

THE SAFES

Top Row, left to right

CORNELIUS I don’t really care for the mix of patterns, and, to me, it’s kinda basic otherwise.

DEXTER It’s a big coat … that is all.

JENNI I’ve heard of a drop crotch, but this insane crotch is practically scraping the floor; not for every woman!

MAH-JING This I loved and wondered why it didn’t go Top; maybe because it’s so monotone?

NATHALIA A big jacket over leggings and a sports bra; Tim was right when he called it a cartoon … all it needed was big Mickey Mouse hands.

Bottom Row, left to right

RIK Oh so safe, and oh so looking like a pillow case. Still, I am getting a bigger crush on Rik so I need him to step up.

ROBERI What three things don’t go together? A bland white top, a screaming print, and a smock coat in a laser-cut lace.

SARAH Marshall’s is having a sale and this is 85% off.

TASHA This kinda BoHoGoth monochrome look is kinda cool, but that low-cut waist is not for all women.

THE TOPS

ALEX 

He turned up the bitchy this week by taking dig after dig at ManBunBrik, and maybe rightly so, but there’s something about his robotic monotone voice — and maybe it’s due to that bar through his lip — that irks me.

His perfectionism, and how he plays it like he’s so great — Look at how orderly I am — irked me, too. Tim, though, who is orderly but not braggy about it, liked it, though he told Alex to bring it down a notch because these are One Day Challenges.

Alex created a structured black pant, with a sheer top — and a giant bow — worn over a purple camisole. That’s all.

WHAT HE SAID

My pants are absolutely on point. I know that this is the JustFab woman.

WHAT I SAID

It’s kinda Coco Chanel-y, but is the bare waist really for every woman?

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Heidi likes the polished look, but agrees that a crop top is not for all women. Nina Garcia loves the “bow drama” and says that she would wear it; it’s terrific and versatile and it’s a great pant, but could have used some sparkle. The Adorable Zac Posen™ called it uptown and mysterious, but said he’s seen the bow before … hell, he’s worn the bow before. Guest Judge, actress Nina Dobrev, loved the pants, the bow, and the sleeves, which is pretty much all of it.

ERIN

While I’m getting Madonna with the hair and the gap between her teeth, I am also getting, for this week at any rate, the one to beat vibe. Erin clearly has a POV and a style and a design sense, along with much needed time management skills.

She’s making a baby blue neoprene A-line dress with red sleeves, and, around the waist, an adjustable sequined belt that takes the dress from ‘A’ to shapely.

Tim’s one critique was the addition of the sequins — was it going from sporty to cocktail — but Erin stuck to her guns and the sparkle gave the look a punch.

WHAT SHE SAID

I think it’s the craziest look because of the color.

WHAT I SAID

I like the color, but it’s cartoonish and big … a decision I took back once she cinched it for the judges and suddenly it had a shape.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

The Adorable Zac Posen™ said it was well done, and loved the transformation; he admitted neoprene was not a good fabric for all women, but also said this look was “high fashion.” Nina Garcia called it fun and a standout, and loved the color—in a runway of mostly black. Nina Dobrev loved the look once it was cinched, but Heidi wasn’t feeling it. She said it might be “too edgy” for all women and she also totted out the word “cartoonish.”

LAURENCE

I’m beginning to like Laurence; she seems like she has a good sense of humor, especially in light of the fact that she had a baby at sixteen and her father threw her out of the house and never spoke to her again — he died in 2007. That could have been a blow, but it seems to have made her stronger, and I like that.

But I worried about her sketch because it was like a parachute with legs; even Tim worried that her straight up-and-down jumpsuit might not appeal to all body types.

She created an Army green, slightly dropped-crotch jumpsuit with a pop of orange down the back. It had a punch and a wow.

WHAT SHE SAID

I think she looks dope.

WHAT I SAID

It reminds me of the flight-suit my Dad used to wear when he was in the Air force—even the colors, the green and orange, were the same.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Heidi loves it, calling it easy and perfect for any woman to wear—even her seventy-something mother. Nina Garcia loved the attitude, the dropped waist and the pockets, but disagreed with Heidi that any age woman would wear it. The Adorable Zac Posen™ loved the details and called it fresh, though he worried about the dangling zipper at the crotch being kinda odd. Nina Dobrev said it was polished and edgy and said she wanted it.

THE BOTTOMS

KIMBER

I got very nervous when Tim came by and Kimber’s work station was spotless and all her materials were neatly stacked. It just looked like she was ready to leave, for the day, or for the season.

Tim liked her look, but worried that the bell shaped top couldn’t work in a floppy material so he suggested she line it, and she did … backwards. She then had nothing for her model to try on and so she ran and shrieked and stressed and cussed.

Note to Kimber: always be working.

WHAT SHE SAID

I’m loving it, it’s girly.

WHAT I SAID

It looks like a sailor outfit; it’s cute, but it’s really ‘Meh.’

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

The Adorable Zac Posen™ noticed the print from the top as a pocket lining in the pant and liked that; but he hated the top, saying it wouldn’t work on a woman with a larger bust. Nina Garcia said the coolest thing about the look was the model’s hair. Ouch! God, I loves me some Meana Garcia! Nina Dobrev liked the print of the top and that the pants were good for every body type.

BRIK

Gosh, he’s all kinds of sweet and cute and just so not ready to be a designer, isn’t he? He tells us that last week’s brush with death has given him a new perspective and then sets out to make the same shape, pants and top, he made last week, albeit without all the glitter.

It’s a printed stretch pants in white and dark gray, paired with a structured blazer of medium gray … I know! But he was planning to add some forest green leather pieces to the shoulders until Tim slapped that idea off the table.

I think he should’a slapped Brik and told him to ramp up the volume and the design, but that’s just me.

WHAT HE SAID

I made a look that a lot of women could incorporate into their wardrobes.

WHAT I SAID

The color is just awful … rainy day gray … and, yes, he wanted to make a jacket but the sleeves are too heavy. Sleeveless would have been better. And a different color … and a different design. Still, he’s just so puppy cute.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Nina Garcia reminded us that last week’s look had too many personalities and this week’s design has none. Ouch! And a knit pant? Nina says the only thing worse than a knit dress — see review below — is a knit pant! The Adorable Zac Posen™ said he had little to say and then talked and talked; note to Zac: if you say you have nothing to say, keep your word. Nina Dobrev called it a mismatch with a business top and couch potato bottom, while Heidi simply wondered what girl would wear this.

LINDA

We learned that Linda was a television journalist until she left to be a full-time mom and now that her girls are grown she’s doing this for herself; if that isn’t a “Get Ready To Go Home” story, I don’t know my PR.

Linda goes for a knit dress that, at first fitting, is too big for her model; and, as she cuts it down, it’s stretching and growing like a knit tumor. And so Linda will cover it with a sheer kimono coat. Um, Linda, if the dress is fugly, why cover it with something you can see through? That only makes the fugly more noticeable.

WHAT SHE SAID

I’m feeling like the design actually might work.

WHAT I SAID

First, I noticed the Adorable Zac Posen’s™ face crumble when this hit the runway, and then I noticed the sheer kimono looked like it was made of dirty plastic wrap and that the dress was getting larger the more it moved.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Nina Garcia looked at it and said, “Hmmmmm?” Never good; she loathed the color palette, loathed the fabric choices, and called the kimono shabby. The Adorable Zac Posen™ said, “Burn the jacket.” Heidi said knits are hard to wear and where would anyone wear this, so Linda said to work, and to pick up the kids and out to dinner and Heidi audibly gasped. Nina wondered if the shredded edges were a choice, and they were, which means they were an awful choice.

Traci Inglis of JustFab returns to award the winner and I was thinking it would be Erin again because he’s was versatile and edgy, but the win went, rightly so on second thought, to Laurence.

The Bottom Two were Brik, again, and Linda; the discussion was that Brik had been a lower twice but that Linda’s was the worst look this week, so who goes home?

This just in … Linda will be reporting live from her living room sofa next week.

Buh-bye.

It’s just Week Two and there are already cliques … Dexter and Mah-Jing against Catty Cornelius … Catty Cornelius, dishing and dogging and throwing so much shade I had to turn a light on to see the show. And this from a guy who, right now, based on his placement, is like “Cornelius, who?” to the judges. Design, dear, and when you win, I’ll walk into the shade with you.

Alex is also giving snark, this week to Brik — who may well deserve it — but I cannot get past his monotone Valley Girl speech pattern. I’m’a need him to stop speaking.

Kimber gets the line of the night when she is struggling to finish and fix all of the mistakes with her look:

“Devil? You can go back to Hell, cuz it’s not gonna happen today?”

And then it nearly did!

When Heidi introduced Nina Dobrev as the star of the upcoming XXX: Return of Xander Cage, all I heard was star of XXX and I instantly went, “Wait, a porn star is a judge? Oh, this could get good.” Alas, it was just a regular actress, whom I’ve never heard of, in a film I’ll never see.

I’m still up for Rik-Brik to happen because they are just so cute. And I’m waiting for all the girls, who this week heaped praise on Erin as the show started, to suddenly turn on her. I mean, this is the PR; that’s bound to happen.

My Faves this week were Erin and Mah-Jing and Tasha.

My Not So Faves were Linda, Dexter and Nathalia, the Three Coatmakers.

What did YOU think?