I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Sad to report that Food Network Diva — and I don’t mean Bobby Flay, though he’d fit the title, too — Giada de Laurentiis and her husband of eleven years Todd have decided to end their marriage.

And fast; in Giada’s initial statement, she said she and Todd were separating, but a day later Todd dropped the D-word when he showed up at the courthouse bright and early to file divorce papers. Then Giada put away her Crock Pot and sped down to the courts, too, to file her own papers.

Doesn’t sound like it’s gonna be amicable …. Fingers crossed.

Giada and Todd’s marriage has weathered a lot of trouble, from their busy work schedules — though I don’t know what he does, but she cooks … a lot — and rumors of her being a big old cheater. Like the rumor that she banged perennial STD John Mayer, which no doubt might be a reason Todd raced to file papers; he had to get to the Free Clinic.

Rumor has it Giada met Mayer at a charity event hosted by that other serial cheater, Tiger Woods, in 2007, and then waited two years to get Mayer into the sack; or something.

An eyewitness tells of the time Giada and John “crossed paths” at the Boom Boom Room at The Standard hotel:

“Almost as soon as they saw each other, they left the room moments apart. Giada was leaning with her back against the wall, and John was right up against her. Giada was holding his hand and she just had a huge grin on her face. John had one hand on the small of her back. They looked like two people who were going to go home together.”

Well, they didn’t go home together — she has a husband and child at home — but they ALLEGEDLY went to another hotel together.

Another eyewitness ALLEGEDLY saw the two-some not long after at the Plunge Lounge atop the Hotel Gansevoort, where they were “extremely touchy-feely” before disappearing downstairs, where Mayer ALLEGEDLY ordered up ice buckets and towels at 1:30 AM. Giada left the hotel at 3 AM.

For her part, Giada says of Mayer:  “I’ve met him and he’s a great guy, but I just like his music.”

Likes his music? Now we know she’s lying. But this is no lie: the night before Giada announced her split, she was out drinking with her BFF Bobby Flay at Cecconi’s in Miami Beach, where they drank and laughed and giggled and looked like they didn’t have a care in the world; or like one of them wasn’t going to announce the end of a marriage a few hours later.

Now, Flay is married to actress Stephanie March but it’s long been rumored that he’ll bang just about anything … January Jones.

Just sayin’.

Found in the Bullshittery File: Just after Christmas, Kim Kardastrophe went to TMZ to talk about she wanted to get pregnant — figuring then Kanye would have to spend more than thirty minutes a month by her side — but that she couldn’t fly as much because her doctors want her to reduce the stress in her life if she wants to get pregnant again.

At first that just sounded like an excuse as to why she and her husband spend so little time together — apparently his doctor told him not to fly because then he’d have to visit his wife — and because Kim spent the fall jetting around the world pushing a fragrance or an outfit or her ass or that sex tape. And it also appears to be a full-blown lie because just this week Kim was at LAX leaving the country with Kanye, but without her baby.

Like I said, Bullshittery.

Okay we all know that Halle Berry’s husband, Olivier Martinez, loves to punch people. I mean, he beat up Halle’s ex-Baby Daddy Gabriel Aubry in 2012 if you remember, and assaulted a paparazzo at LAX in April 2013, and is now punching just about anyone.

One night while arriving at LAX, Halle was carrying baby Maceo in one arm and holding Nahla’s hand. Olivier walked ahead of them carrying the baby carrier, using it as some kind of shield to keep people away.

Well, one guy seemingly got too close and Olivier used the carrier to shove him back, causing the man to fall. The good news is that it wasn’t a paparazzo, but the bad news is that it was just an LAX employee and now Olivier is being investigated for battery.

Olivier might check into some anger management courses, because he’s rapidly becoming the French Kanye West.

High school girls and Frenemies for Life, Taylor Swift and Katy Perry are still feuding over ex-boyfriends and back-up dancers I guess.

Katy ALLEGEDLY tried to ‘sabotage’ Taylor’s last stadium tour, leading Taylor to ALLEGEDLY write ‘Bad Blood’ about Katy, which led to Katy calling Taylor a “Regina George in sheep’s clothing” on Twitter and on and on and yawn.

But Katy’s done with the stupid games, and plans on bringing out the big guns—and I don’t mean her augmented boobs. She plans to “get back” at Taylor during her performance on the Super Bowl halftime show by making it the best show ever!

Oooh, that’ll show TayTay.

A source — and it can’t be Lohan because she’s still “sick” on vacation — says:

“She wants to make a statement with her performance and show that she is the biggest female act in the world and she wants to show that to everyone including Taylor, who she has a feud with. In Katy’s eyes, no one can compete on her level. [She] will be doing something on stage during her performance that will be directed towards Taylor. She is working on it to be a visual or a lyric related jab.”

Maybe she’ll just ask the other cheerleaders to spell out We Hate Taylor while creating a giant pyramid.

Grow up girls, or else take it to the streets where this dog fight belongs.

Speaking of Swifty, she’s been boyfriend-less for a hot minute now and her well of Poor Me I Got Dumped songs must be running dry so she’s set her sights on another prize: Leonardo DiCaprio.

Now, while Leo is more content to bang models by the truck-load, Taylor seems to think that because she sang a song at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show one time that makes her close enough to be a model, and just ripe for Leo’s, er, plucking.

After which, she’ll dump him and write a new song, for which I have a title suggestion:

♫ ♪ He Said He Was a Leo, But He Was Just A Liar ♪ ♫

I smell Grammy!

When is Bill Cosby just gonna take a seat?

While performing in London, Ontario recently — one of the few venues that haven’t canceled his appearance in lieu of the dozens of rape allegations against him — a woman got up from her front row seat and walked past the stage when she was asked by Cosby where she was going.

She said she was going to the lobby to grab a drink to which Cosby responded: "You have to be careful about drinking around me."

Cuz rape jokes are fun … apparently … because the audience clapped like trained seals. But later, when a man later yelled at Cosby that he was a rapist, the man was removed from the theater.

Rule to remember: only Bill Cosby can make jokes about Bill Cosby being a serial rapist.

I’m.Devastated.

Apparently the bloom is off the rose for "Bachelorette" stars Andi Dorfman and Josh Murray, who, through a representative, issued a statement saying they’ve called off their engagement.

What kind of world has this become where a woman can’t go on a TV show, meet 26 guys, date thirteen, make out with six, get down and dirty with three, declare her undying love for two, pick one, get married and live happily ever after?

Oh.The.Humanity.

Sidenote: that Josh Murray is kinda hot. If he needs someone to hold him while he grieves the loss of his TV relationship, I'm available.