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This week — after a slight holiday break — we meet up with the designtestants celebrating Michelle’s birthday at a coffee shop. How.Exciting! Nothing says Happy Birthday like a Half-caf-half-decaf-double-foam-vanilla-soy-latte! But I digress. Whilst sipping, they take notice of a copy of USA Today in the window featuring Alyssa Milano and directions back to their apartments, up to the roof and out by the pool where Alyssa awaits with USA Today Travel president John Peters to give them their next task.
They must create an elegant resort look and also a va-va-voom … kinda … bathing suit. This causes panic in the guys who’ve never designed swimwear and causes glee in Michelle because she does and has and will.
But first, a bevy of bathing beauties come out and strip to their bikinis to dive into the pool and collect a swimwear fabric the designers want to use. Did I mention they were male bathing beauties? Did I mention I replayed the whole pool scene about 2 or 3 … or 24 times?
The designtestants also get $150 to buy fabric for the resort look at Mood and, gasp, a new model with whom to work. Dmitry tuned up his perpetually upturned nose at the idea of a new model, but then Dmitry doesn’t take change well at all. And yet, as if to make up for the muse switcheroo, the designtestants are told that the winner will get a photo story and interview in USA Today, plus a Caribbean vacation.
Now they’re interested, and so am I, so let’s rip …
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THE SAFES
FABIO
Zanna warned him that his resort wear seemed conservative, and she was right; it was nice, but nice ain’t gonna get the hot guy at the bar to keep you in Mojitos all night. And the swimsuit seemed top heavy in that there was too much fabric, not too much boobage; I did like the bikini bottom, though.
HELEN
The swimsuit was a miss for me; dull fabric choice, dull design. I liked the lace cover-up, but the short panty and clunky shoes ruined it.
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THE TOP THREE
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SONJIA
She’s going lace on the bottom and denim insets on the top, though Zanna—and this week’s co-mentor, USA Today Fashion Editor Alison Maxwell—worry that denim maybe doesn’t look so luxe.
WHAT SHE SAID
I know I’m taking a risk using the denim with the lace
WHAT I SAID
The top seems ill-fitting and kinda surgical scrub eleganza, but I like the bikini bottom rocking some old school Granny panties vibe.
WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ loved the idea of the lace and loved the cut of the top of the swimsuit; she called it fresh and modern and said she wants to see a Sonjia Collection. Isaac also loved the lace, but wished the look had been presented without the “boxy pajama top” and its awkward angles. Guest judge, former model and now fashion photographer, Nigel Barker, liked the look, and loved the bathing suit, but thought the pants were too short, making the model appear short, too.
WHAT HAPPENED
Sonjia gets Third
DMITRY
He's so full of himself, so sure he’s the greatest thing ever, that after hearing Isaac say asymmetry can sometimes be lazy, decides he’s gonna show that old queen and make an entirely asymmetrical dress and swimsuit.
He has one issue, though, when he asks Michelle about finishing the edges of a swimsuit and she says she uses elastic; Dmitry did not know that … wait. Dmitry didn’t know something? Wow. Anyway, he asks to use her extra if there is any and when she kinda hems and haws, he mutters, “Nobody ever offers me anything. They see a strong competitor. That’s what it is.” Or maybe they all know that you would never offer anything to any of them so they’ll play by your rules?
Zanna and Alison like his look, and Zanna loves the camouflage swimsuit, calling it Bond girl, but then Dmitry hits another snag when his new model is much taller than expected and the dress he designed won’t fit. He scraps it, starts again, and I get the idea that he’ll blame the producers for doing that because they know he’s "strong competitor.”
WHAT HE SAID
For my dress. I’m showing a perfect example. Of asymmetry. For my swimsuit. I’m showing a perfect example. Of asymmetry.
WHAT I SAID
I like it, though the wonky asymmetry of the dress bothers me, and I was shocked that a camo-swimsuit could look so chic.
WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Isaac loves it and says, "I think it's exemplary of asymmetry." However, he does not like the silk charmeuse dress, though the color saves it. Alyssa loves the silk and the contradiction between that and the camo-swimsuit, while The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ also loves it but isn’t keen on the hemline being so off. Nigel Barker loves the swimsuit and either couldn’t wait to wear it or couldn’t wait to photograph the model in it.
WHAT HAPPENED
Dmitry gets Second Place and whines backstage about coming in second … again.
JUSTIN
After having a hot wet boy pick his swimsuit fabric Justin decides he doesn’t like it, so he reverses it to the black side, and just uses the print as a trim. He does worry that his suit might be a bit hoochie, but Zanna rightly reminds him that “as long as we’ve got no nipples hanging out, we are all good.”
WHAT HE SAID
She looks amazing … showing a bit of the bathing suit.
WHAT I SAID
It’s pretty, and definitely just a pool cover-up and not a dress, but I like the flow and the color. The bottom half of the swimsuit bothered me because it seemed too heavy.
WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ loved it; she wanted it; she wanted to be that woman, and called it cohesive and classy. Isaac also gushed, calling it ‘Great’ and a ‘Wow’ and loving the chastity of the Grecian Goddess-ness of it all, Nigel loved the suit, saying he would photograph it from behind and it would sell, while Alyssa also sang Justin’s praises.
WHAT HAPPENED
After last week’s near elimination, Justin takes the prize.
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THE BOTTOM THREE
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MICHELLE
I was worried because, as happens on the PR, Michelle began saying how she “had this” that this was “in her wheelhouse,” and whenever anyone talks like that they usually go home. But Michelle knows swimsuits — she did buy the right elastic mind you — and picked a bold yellow and black chevron print for the swimsuit, so maybe she would prevail?
Except that both Alison and Zanna worried about the caution-tape look of the print, and the idea that Michelle wanted to fringe the suit.
Fringe.The.Suit? That would have been awful, but it may have taken some of the ugly off the cover-up.
WHAT SHE SAID
The dress and how it moves and how it sparkles! I love my look!
WHAT I SAID
It’s a fabulous swimsuit, sexy but not slutty, but the cover-up — which Michelle said the girl could wear to a Miami club — looked like a glittered burlap sack with wonky pleats.
WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Nigel loathed pleats, saying it looked like the girl had tucked the dress into her underwear! Yes! Yes! Yes! And he couldn’t figure out how Michelle didn’t know that it was just so awful; but he and all the judges felt that Michelle made the best swimsuit up there. Isaac loved how she layered elastic over the chevron to create a new print, while Alyssa loved the deep, though not too deep, v-neck, yet couldn’t help but wonder what Michelle was thinking with that dress. The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ also raved about the suit, but called the dress “all wrong.”
WHAT HAPPENED
Saved by a swimsuit. Michelle.
JAY
I loved how, when Zanna came by Jay said his girl was going to Ibiza and when Zanna said it needed to be exclusive and fabulous, he said he’d do it, or change the girl’s flight to somewhere else. Is there a beach in Hoboken? Just asking.
WHAT HE SAID
I love how it moves … and how the other designers are saying, ‘Oh my God! That looks amazing!’
WHAT I SAID
It’s pretty and it moves well, but the print looks a little too bed linen—from Anna’s Linens—to me, and the swimsuit is a d-i-saster; boxy bottoms and nipple straps? Oh hell no.
WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ thinks that the dress has beautiful movement but is weighed down by the leather yoke. Isaac wondered about the weird pleats and weird leather yoke, and says the swimsuit is a whole other crazy moment. Alyssa didn't understand Jay's choice of print for the swim suit, saying it reminded her of something a toddler boy might wear. Nigel loved the dress but hated the swimsuit, especially the bottom half cutting across the belly button.
WHAT HAPPENED
Jay got lucky because Flashdance-Baywatch-Moose-Knuckle was also on the show last night.
SAMANTHA
She’s going chic jumpsuit in a soothing blue, and yet she also chose an electric neon print for the swimsuit. I’m worried. Zanna warns her that she has to focus on the glamour and I look at that suit and I’m worried.
But the suit is the least of her worries because Samantha has apparently sewn the top of the jumpsuit to the bottom of the jumpsuit, but flipped the fabric midway through and now it’s just a twisted mess, sister.
I’m really worried.
WHAT SHE SAID
My look is totally elegant.
WHAT I SAID
I love the jumpsuit, and love the color, very Key West chic, but then that swimsuit is revealed, along with most of the model’s ass and, well, it’s a trainwreck on the road to Key West.
WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Alyssa liked the jumpsuit, but found the swimsuit a bad 1980s Who’s The Boss? flashback. The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ adores a jumpsuit—and features one in all her collections—but she got a Flashdance flashback from the awful swimsuit, Isaac saw nothing but bad choices in the suit, though he liked the jumpsuit except for the way it sagged on top. Nigel also loved the jumpsuit, and also hated the suit, and brought up the notion of the camel toe which Isaac grabbed and ran with, turning it into moose knuckle.
WHAT HAPPENED
That alone sealed Sam’s fate and she was sent packing.
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MY TAKE
It looks like Sonjia is already a contender for a top three spot with Georgina’s proclamation, “I want to see her collection.” Yeah, unless she totally screws up, she’ll be at The Tents. Mark my words, she will nab a final position.
I’m still chucking over Isaac calling out, not the camel toe, on Samantha’s suit, but the moose knuckle. Oy! But I also love how Isaac called Justin ‘darling;’ for a lot of gay men that can come off like an affectation, but it’s real on Isaac and I love him for it.
I’m over Dmitry’s constant “I am the best” attitude, followedquicklyby his “I never win” proclamation. But I do think he’ll be at The Tents.
Jay should go next because, well, he’s better than Samantha but that’s not saying a whole lot. I will miss his gleeful squeals when he darts through the workroom, though, when he goes.
Justin? He always seems to get the boot, then get a save, and then come back stronger than ever. I hope it lasts because I like him, though I think Fabio might be at The Tents instead of him.
Yeah, today I’m thinking Fabio-Sonjia-Dmitry Final Three, though if any other designer grabs Dmitry’s spot I’ll be cool with that.
What did YOU THINK?
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I agree with the real possibility of Fabio-Dimitry. I just really want the third one to be Justin.
ReplyDeleteohmygosh - When Jay can make a slender model look boxy - you have to work at that!
ReplyDeleteIf I could make myself like Alyssa Milano, I might enjoy this more. I think she's there to make Heidi Klum look good when she comes back in the fall. This seasons designers aren't impressing me much at all.
ReplyDeleteThe Lifetime channel was all garbled that night so I couldn't watch, AND the DVR recorded it that way too. Maybe I'll catch a rerun this week. Loved your point of view!
ReplyDelete