The Turtle is a Liar

Two things I will not abide by: lying, dumbass politicians and zucchini bread. Guess which one is on my mind today?

Y’all remember back in Ott-Eight when Barack Obama kicked John McCain’s* ass to the curb? I still feel warm and tingly thinking about that. I also feel warm and tingly when I think what The Turtle, AKA Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell, said at the time … and I’ll paraphrase:

“Our one job is to make sure Barack Obama is a one-term president.”

He said it, I didn’t. And what’s worse than saying it is that he and the rest of his Angry Rich White Men Only Party, couldn’t even do that; Obama kicked GOP ass again in 2012, so The Turtle was wrong about that, though he was right about one thing: the GOP had one job during Obama’s first term and they would do, and did do, absolutely nothing else.

Unless you count the fifty-some-odd attempts to repeal the Affordable Healthcare Act, which they couldn’t even do. Unless you count the government shutdown, for which We The People are now paying some $24 billion.

So, Mitch and his cronies did absolutely nothing for six years and yet, and it still boggles my mind, a lot of you voted them into power and even re-elected the dumbasses who sat on their cushy fat asses — when they weren’t on vacation — and did absolutely nothing. And now The Turtle is back to his old tricks of saying things that are untrue … okay, they’re outright lies …

Mitch McConnell is trying to rewrite his history of obstruction and failure by taking credit for the economic growth that has occurred under President Obama by saying this on the Senate floor:

“After so many years of sluggish growth, we’re finally starting to see some economic data that can provide a glimmer of hope. The uptick appears to coincide with the biggest political change of the Obama administration’s long tenure in Washington: The expectation of a new republican congress.”

Wait. What? All of this happened the Wednesday after the election last November? We suddenly went from Bad to better in the space of about twelve hours?

Siddown Mitch, your stupid is showing.

The facts are that the economy gained over 11 million jobs in spite of Mitch McConnell and his Angry Rich White Men Only Party’s efforts to keep the recession going; or does Mitchy expect anyone to really believe that the economy started improving back in 2011 because we knew the GOP would take control of Congress in 2014?

Mitch? Pull your head back inside your shell, your stupid is showing.

The GOP has done nothing in the last six years and with nothing to show for their hefty paychecks, free healthcare, paid vacations, they need to so-opt Obama’s victories and try to play them off as they own; but they can’t … except to those dumbasses who checked off the GOP box last November, and voted for a party that has done nothing for them — unless they’re rich and white and male — for far too long.

I could go on, but I’ll let DNC Communications Director Mo Elleithee respond to Mitch McConnell’s lunacy:

“Hahahahahahahahahahaha. That Mitch McConnell is one funny guy. He likes to remind people all the time that he’s not a scientist. Now we know he’s not a mathematician or an economist either. The fact is, under President Obama we’ve had 57 straight months of private sector job growth leading to nearly 11 million jobs added. All Republicans have given us is a government shutdown that cost the economy $24 billion. I get why he wants to take credit for the economic recovery. But maybe he should first do something to help contribute to it.”

Siddown Mitch, before someone turns you on your back and you can’t get up again.

Hmmmmmmm ….

*Correction, thanks to Anonymous
via PoliticusUSA