Tidbits

I lovedlovedloved Betty White on SNL. She's a bawdy broad, a comic genius, and, yes, a national treasure--not the kind that Nicholas Cage digs up. I've been pointing at Carlos all weekend and saying, The Wizard Of Ass!

I watched the end of The Amazing Race and was thrilled beyond words that Idiot Model Couple Caite Upton and Brent Horne lost. Lost. It was disgusting enough to watch these two morons routinely put down people in other countries for not understanding English, but to watch Little Miss The Iraq And Such As Caite Upton call a cabdriver in San Francisco a dumbass--repeatedly--just shows that she is an idiot of epic proportions. Caite? Honey? You lost. Again. Boo-fucking-hoo.

Is it me or is Oprah getting bigger by the second. I watched, er, DVR'd, her show on Friday because I wanted to see Christina Aguilera, and when I watched it, seeing Oprah in that sequinned Pepto Bismol skirt, well, made me wanna hurl. It seemed to be growing as I watched. Further making me wanna hurl was Carlos saying Christina was doing Madonna from the 80s because she had platinum blond hair and ruby red lips. I reminded him that Madonna was accused of doing Marilyn back in the day, and before Marilyn there was Jean Harlow--look her up. There has always been a blond bombshell, and there will always be a blond bombshell.

Like many of you, I am sick of George Rekers and his Luggage Lifting Full Body Massage Travel Assistant. I loathe closeted gay men who work, and earn a living at, persecuting gay people at every turn. But I also feel somewhat sorry for Rekers and his ilk. I mean, how sad to hate yourself so much that you will spend your life working against people like you, deny people like you, and lie to anyone and everyone you know. Rekers didn't make himself anti-gay; society did.

Here in the Great :::cough cough::: State of South Carolina, Mark Sanford, our Philanderer-In-Chief, is expected to announce today whether he'll sign a bill raising the tax on a pack of cigarettes by fifty-cents. Lotsa folks crying foul; most of those cigarette smokers. As a man who lost his mother to lung cancer, I can only say, STFU. You don't wanna pay the extra coinage, then find a way to stop. And, when you stop, I imagine you might feel a whole lot better, and live a bit longer. Isn't that worth fifty cents?

Lost. Don't get me started. I wept like a baby last week. Sun!! Jin!!! Get out of the sub!!! And Sayid? I think I'll miss him most of all. I am readying my box of tissues for these last episodes, and for the aftermath of no Lost. Where shall i go? What shall I do? What will become of me?

I am going to admit that I watched some of The Real Housewives Of New Jersey [RHONJ] last year. That whole Prostitution-Whore-Table-Flipping scene by white-trash-with-money Teresa was worth it. This year? Not so much. A bunch of bored rich, and not-so-rich-anymore, bitch housewives who spend their days talking about another woman and putting her down is just plain ugly. I'll stick with The Real Housewives Of New York, though Jill and The Countless can go screw themselves.

I watched a bit of Half-Term Governor Quitter Sarah Palin talk about how we are a religious country founded on Christian beliefs and that we should run the country the way God wants us to run it. Um, Sarah, you dipshit? Whose God? Yours? Mine? My Muslim neighbor? The Jew down the street? And what about the atheist on the corner or the agnostic on the next block? They don't get a say? Whose God, you asshatted wingnut? You should learn to keep your illiterate uninformed mindnumbingly dumb right wing opinion to yourself. For a more comprehensive, and especially well-written viewpoint on The Quitter and religion and the Constitution, head on over the The Junction, Nutwood Junction [HERE]. Miss Beth has a mouthful to say, and as usual, it's fantastic.