by Jeff Lieber
I'm so sorry if this is disjointed [WHOOOSH] or confusing [WHOOOSH], but--I find myself the middle of a disaster of unprecedented proportions [WHOOOSH] and--oh the humanity--I'm having a hard time understanding how we progressives [WHOOOSH] [WHOOOSH] could ever let this happen!?
You see, I live in Southern California... just north of the Tehachapi Pass Wind Farm... and this morning a lipstick lesbian biker gang lost control of their motorcycles and CRASHED into one of the turbines and now...
THERE IS [WHOOOSH] FUCKING WIND [WHOOOSH] EVERYWHERE!!!!
There's wind on the ground and over the water and filling the sky in a way God never, ever, intended [WHOOOSH] and--as it spills out uncontrollably--blowing at speeds [WHOOOSH] fast enough to lift up cows and houses and allegorical crones on bicycles I'm reminded of the opening scene of the environmental disaster film The Wizard Of Oz.
In fact FEMA is [WHOOOSH] dispatching the Army Corps of Engineers just in case someone gets trapped [WHOOOSH] under a house!
We got cell phone calls all over the ground...fax transmissions smashed through the windshields of cars...and iPhone data strewn from Sacramento to the Mexican boarder.
How in God's name [TUMBLEWEED BLOWS BY] are we going to breathe with all this air in the air?
But the worse part...I now find out that some asshole in the GREEN MOVEMENT allowed these WIND FARMS to be built right near SOLAR FARMS and so [WHOOOSH] what is going to happen if all this extra wind somehow manages to DESTROY THE SOLAR FARM and [WHOOOSH] next thing we know... we're dealing with THE FUCKING SUN SPILLING ALL OVER THE DESERT!
WHY DIDN'T WE LISTEN TO THE REPUBLICANS AND STICK WITH A SAFE ENERGY SOURCE LIKE OIL!?!?!
from the DemocraticUnderground.com....via Round-The-Way-Gay, and ISBL Smallville correspondent, Neal.
My thoughts and prayers go out to all those affected by this tragedy.
ReplyDeleteI also wonder how long it will take the idiots at FEMA to get windbreakers distributed to these poor defenseless people.
OMG, I'm like downwind here in Southern California. Time to put up the air booms to keep that wind spill out of my community! *laughs*
ReplyDeleteYou mean those wind turbines next to the highway between LA and Palm Desert? Oh those ARE a bitch! They completely destroy the scenic views of the dust and tumble weed (WHOOOSH!)
ReplyDeleteYou are too funny. I gravitate to sarcasm; it's my drug of choice.
Dang earth-shoe-wearing, granola-eating, beaver-lovin' Lezbos, ruining it for everyone.
Har har har har!
ReplyDeleteTake that knife and twist it, Bob.