Well, since I can’t have The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ or
The Adorable Zac Posen™ then I will need me some Meana Garcia™. Thank you Lifetime.
Nina Garcia joins Alyssa to tell the remaining
designtestants that five of Stylehauls top bloggers — with a combined following of
6.5 million — will be the inspiration, the newest trend for 2014, and the models
for his challenge. The designers must create a look highlighting what they believe
will be the hot trend for 2014, and must also showcase the 2014 Pantone Color
of the Year: Radiant Orchid, AKA my drag name during my Bangkok years.
The designtestants team up with their chosen bloggers and
this is what we get:
Korto chooses Carli and their trend is the Crisp White Suit
Christopher chooses Fleur and decides to create Military
Lace
Seth Aaron picks Gigi and goes Seamed — not appliquéd — Colorblocking
Elena chooses Dulce and opts for texture
Viktor gets Jarmaine and trends Good Girl Gone Bad — whatever that
means.
So, let’s rip…..
THE BOTTOM FOUR
SETH AARON
His blogger is the
transgender Gigi with ADD so she and Seth Aaron get along like distracted besties.
He goes neoprene — and Elena reminds us that she was going neoprene three years ago — and
then for no discernible reason says his dress is reminiscent of the British
flag.
WHAT I SAID
It’s cool, but colorblocking
is not very much of a new trend, and those weird leather sleeve caps are
distracting.
WHAT THEY SAID
“Gigi is so pumped
about the dress. When they love it, they sell it.”
WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Nina says his was the
best use of the color, but that the look — scuba, athletic, colorblocking — has been
done; she also loved that Gigi owned the runway. Isaac said it wasn’t a lasting
image and thought Seth Aaron was capable of much more. Guest judge Francisco
Costa thought it had a ‘good vibe’ but said there was really no trend happening,
while Alyssa gave it a thumbs up for execution.
WHAT HAPPENED
Safe
ELENA
Elena tells Dulce that she is the color queen while dressed
head-to-toe in black-and-white. That made me giggle. But, again, a structured
patchwork coat and black dress. Yawn.
WHAT I SAID
It was a Kewpie doll in
an oversized knotted kitchen rug of a jacket and the whole look makes her seem
shorter than her actual size.
WHAT THEY SAID
“I really love this
look. I think it looks very graphic from far away.”
WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Alyssa thought the
peplum was too long for such a tiny model, while guest judge and Project Runway
darling Cristian Siriano liked the texture trend and the color, but also felt
the jacket might have worked better as a softer blazer style. Nina was
impressed by the texture but thought the jacket wore the girl and not the other
way round. Francisco liked the print but wondered about the relevance and, for
once, Isaac was at a loss for words — which cannot be good.
WHAT HAPPENED
Since they want Elena
at The Tents she’s safe.
CHRISTOPHER
He starts off by saying this challenge will be fun and easy,
then calls it very difficult, He starts off saying his trend is Military Lace
but on the runway he calls it New
Vintage Paris Soft Military, or as I called it, WTF? Plus, he was above using
the Radiant Orchid in the look, and instead used it to make an accessory — not the
challenge Christopher.
WHAT I SAID
It’s a hot mess; the
lace seemed bunched up in spots and the fact that the lace was longer than the
undergarment made it seem ill-fitting. Plus, DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON A MULLET DRESS!!!!
WHAT THEY SAID
“It looks superchic. It’s
double-breasted and has functional pockets. She looks important but it looks
like an everyday look.”
WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Isaac liked the dress
with Christopher’s newer, longer, nonsensical trend explanation, but finds the
color funny. Cristian says if you’re making a coat dress it should look more
evening—don’t ask me to explain that, I didn’t get it. He did add that there
was too much going on and no woman wants to wear an overdesigned dress. Francisco
liked the lace, while Nina hated the color of the lace:
Nina Garcia: “It looks
like seaweed that has come out of the swamp.”
Christopher [pissy]: “Thank
you.”
Nina Garcia: “That wasn’t
a compliment.”
Christopher: “I didn’t
take it as a compliment.”
Like I said, pissy. But
Nina did say that Christopher has a knack for creating lightness but this look
was bogged down—See what I did there? Nina said ‘swamp’ and I said ‘bog’? I’ll
stop—and Alyssa was annoyed that he used the Radiant Orchid only as an
accessory.
WHAT HAPPENED
Christopher dodged a bullet
because this should have sent him home.
VIKTOR
He wanted to make a motorcycle jacket and a jumpsuit — something
his blogger Jarmaine said she loved — and he did. But then he scrapped it and
made a poodle skirt with holes punched in it to show the Radiant Orchid; and he
kept the white leather motorcycle jacket.
WHAT I SAID
The coat seemed way too
big, like she was wearing her Bad Boyfriend’s coat, and the skirt was way too Laverne and Shirley.
WHAT THEY SAID
“I love the jacket. It
looks amazing and the dress looks fun and flirty and youthful.”
WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Nina said the jacket
was now — as in 2013 not 2014 — but she liked the dress and the hand-cut cutouts without
the jacket, which threw off the proportions. Cristian liked the hand-cut laser
cutouts with the orchid beneath, while Isaac said he liked the plainness of the
dress. Francisco called the dress a thruway — or was that a command? — and said he
thought the jacket made it all work. Alyssa said he missed the mark.
WHAT HAPPENED
Viktor and his fan are
sent packing.
THE WINNER
KORTO
Determined from the get-go. A white suit; a crisp white suit
with a vest instead of a jacket. And she stayed true to her design from beginning
to end.
WHAT I SAID
Bam! We have a winner.
WHAT THEY SAID
“My outfit looks
amazing. It’s crisp, white. The peep of orchid is OMG. I want one in every
color.”
WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Alyssa loved it but
hated the shoes, while Isaac said Korto’s look really showcased the Radiant
Orchid by kind of hiding it a bit. Nina absolutely hated the shoes and the
handbag but declared the vest the star of the show; she said it was a definite
trend for 2014. Francisco loved the pant, calling them fresh and fantastic,
while Cristian loved the structured vest’s softness.
WHAT HAPPENED
Korto gets her second
win in a row and will most likely go to The Tents unless a major flub occurs.
MY TAKE
I'm glad that, although they didn't say it, there was a Bottom Four and a Top One, because other than Korto, all those other looks ranged from Meh to How did you EVER get on this show?
Christopher continually pronounces Fleur as “Floor” until the runway so
you know the producers finally corrected him.
Seth Aaron’s glasses make him look like a cartoon dog … with
a bad haircut.
Elena's maniacal giggle whenever she talks to anyone makes her seem cray-cray.
I think Korto may now be the frontrunner, though Elena is
still getting to The Tents; that means Elena, Korto and Christopher. This is a
shame because I’d rather see another Seth Aaron show than a Christopher or
Elena collection.
I love how shorty Alyssa Milano dogs the proportions while wearing
a mini-skirt and ankle boots that shorten her won legs to about four inches.
Pot.Kettle.Get a new stylist.
And what’s this about the new Tim Gunn show, Under The Gunn? I am so ready for that.
What did YOU think?
