Why Is It ...

… that most people don’t realize the world would be a better place if everyone took a chill pill, and it would get even better if some of them choked on it

… that most people don’t realize that fake laughing with a client is a highly prized job skill

… that I spend a lot of time wondering if I’m going to let it slide or start something when we all know I’m going to start something.

… that the older I get the easier it is for me too look at a situation and say, “Yeah, I’m out.”

… that I am so anti-social that I will reschedule the same phone call eight times hoping they’ll just text instead.

… that I actually love it when people think they’re punishing me by not talking to me

… that sometimes simply saying “Hi” can be the beginning of three years of trauma and so that’s why I don’t reply.

… that people need to know that my body is a filter; coffee goes in and sarcasm comes out.

… that hitting the gym to relieve stress is never quite as effective as hitting the people who stressed me out in the first place.

… that you should forgive your enemy but never forget the bastard’s name