Saturday, April 25, 2026

Why Is It ...

… that people don’t remember that I don’t take constructive criticism from someone who has never constructed anything.

… that when I agreed with my therapist who said I was unstoppable, he said, “I said you were unstable,’ and I replied, “Meh. Tomato, potato.”

… that people need to know that if they want to paint me as a villain please wait until I pose.

… that no one realizes that being an adult is easy, it’s like riding a bike … that’s on fire … everything is on fire. You’re in Hell

… that when I fuck things up I fuck them up so badly that people wonder for years how I managed to do it.

… that no one notices that I wear my angel wings every day, but the minute I take them off and beat somebody with them suddenly everyone’s a witness

… that people call me mean but they don’t realize that I’m not mean, I am just not actively making you comfortable

… that I’ve just realized that life would be much easier if I could just mark people as spam

… that people who don’t understand that I’ve never had a mid-life crisis don't realize it's because my entire life is a crisis.

… that I feel like I am emotionally constipated since I haven’t given a shit in a really long time

6 comments:

  1. 'emotionally constipated' . . . 😂🤣

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  2. Anonymous11:41 AM

    the dog's mother
    xoxo :-)

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  3. The last one! Don't feel bad I suffer from the same ailment.

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  4. Bob...seriously...these need to be a book.

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  5. "No one notices my angel wings until I take them off and beat somebody with them" -- AHAHAHAHAHA! I just knew we must've been separated at birth, Bob!

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  6. Oh, to be able to mark people as spam! Life would be so much easier.

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