Why Is It ...

… that the other day I stared at the screen for several minutes and then announced, “God this show is boring,” and then heard my boss say, “This is a zoom meeting.” Still, I wasn't exactly wrong.

… that when someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s “in the name of love,” or if it’s “Hammer time,” or if I need to “smell the roses.”

… that sometimes a yawn is so good you just gotta scream at the end.

… that when people tell me that I shouldn’t let the cats sleep in the bed with me, they don’t understand that I would lets our cats take a loan out in my name.

… that when people say I’m overthinking the situation they don’t realize that I have no other form of thinking.

… that my grocery list is always very simple … #1: Don’t run into anyone I know, and #2 Bread.

… that when someone is trying to offend me they don’t understand that my sense of humor is blacker than my coffee.

… that Taylor Swift could be performing live from my kitchen and I still wouldn’t go.

… that no one ever told me that when I got older the weather app would become part of my daily routine.