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Last week, out actor Drew Droege and his date were dining at El Compadre in Los Angeles before heading out to a show and felt the sting of homophobia with their meal: “I went on a really nice date. With a really sad, disgusting, hateful moment in the middle. We had our arms around each other and kissed a few times. A manager approached our table and said something to the [effect] of, ‘You guys can’t do that here. This is a family restaurant.’” Droege asked if anyone in the restaurant had complained, but the manager snapped back: “I don’t care if you’re the president of the United States, we don’t allow your behavior here.”  Droege was stunned by those words, and took it to social media: “The chilling and pointed tone of ‘we’re a family restaurant.’ ‘We don’t allow your behavior here.’ Ever wonder why gay people often seem nervous? Why do we walk faster? Why do we work so hard to please others and be good little citizens in this world?” After Droege’s post, which tagged El Compadre, the restaurant posted a statement on Instagram, which they later deleted: “We have read all of your comments and concerns, and we are looking into what happened Monday night at our Echo Park location. While we work to learn more, we want to make it clear we stand with the LGBTQ community and hold no space for intolerance, hate, or unjust treatment of our beloved guests regardless of race, ethnicity, age, gender, religion, sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, disability, or status. We were built off of the core value to do everything with love, and we will do what it takes to continue to warmly welcome any and every guest into a safe community. Please give us time to seek out what happened, gather more information, and take appropriate action. We will update you soon.” But by Wednesday night, I guess the restaurant had investigated and posted this message:  Droege says he has never been “asked not to show love in public” though, like all of us, he’s dealt with homophobia all his life; still, he thought that a display of affection in Los Angeles was “a safe thing to do.” And he received all kinds of support since coming forward with the story from actors Matt Bomer, Tuc Watkins, and Leslie Grossman, writer Michael Ausiello, and others who posted messages of support which makes Droege feel a little better: “Given all this support, I do feel safer and supported. This was one a**hole. This was not the entire restaurant. This is not our city.” On the other hand … in the middle of America …  In September, award-winning restauranteur Chef Dave Heide closed Liliana’s Restaurant, his popular New Orleans-style restaurant in Madison, Wisconsin. But fear not, the restaurant opened back up this month, after Heidi rebranded the establishment in honor of his recently transitioned son. Ollie’s Madison is now open for business. In addition to the newly renamed Ollie’s Madison, Heide also owns Saint Charles Station and the non-profit caterer Little John’s, all which are named for his children. Heide says that although COVID changed the restaurant business and inspired the reboot, the primary reason to rebuild was his son Ollie: “My kiddo doesn’t go by the name that’s on the restaurant anymore. They don’t use that name. They go by a different name. As a dad who loves their kid, to have their deadname on my shirt every day when I come home and their deadname on their restaurant … that’s part of it.” Heide reopened the restaurant on Ollie’s first birthday, after announcing his son’s transition on social media in December 2020: “I wanted everyone to meet someone you already know. I introduce you to Ollie Joy Heide. You may have known them as Liliana in the past, but now you may call them Ollie. I am so proud of this human. I have known them as Lily for their whole life, and I look forward to many adventures with this amazing human and having a million new memories with them. I love you Ollie, no matter your name, your gender, or your pronouns. You will always be my kiddo that I am proud of and love.” And that’s how restaurants are done, and that’s especially how parenting is done. Welcome out, Ollie. |
Monday, December 19, 2022
A Tale Of Two Restaurants
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This brought tears to my eyes. I had read the first story in the news. I hadn’t read the second.
ReplyDeleteThe first made me angry, even thought eh manager was canned, but the second gave me hope.
DeleteIt's so nice to read about a parent who is proud of and loves their children. Changing the restaurant name was a great show of support. At least the first restaurant ended up doing the right thing, but it's a shame that it came at the cost of belittling people.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
That was just lovely. He'd named all his places after his kids and made sure Ollie got the same respect.
Deletexoxo
Yes, the good and the bad, as you say. Progress can be very slow sometimes.
ReplyDeleteSteps forward, steps back. Oy, it gets tiring.
DeleteWell, you made me cry again. Wish that the entire world and every parent on the planet could be like Ollie's dad. Dad of the year in my book.
ReplyDeleteIt would be nice if people just minded their own business and didn't think their faith, or whatever they call it, is in jeopardy every time they see guys kiss or women hold hands in public.
DeleteTwo very good examples of how things should be done and people should be treated. If you read this really well you'll find that no patrons were killed or injured. So the far right and Christians can just lay off. When I was in Philadelphia this weekend it was wonderful to see every establishment we were in had quite a mix of people everywhere you look and no one was having any issues.
ReplyDeleteNo one was injured in the kiss, just the aftermath which saw a bigot lose his job.
DeleteAs for the second story? All joy for Dad and Ollie!
I am always a trifle concerned to hear/read that someone has been terminated; it sounds so.....final. Sacked doesn't hold the same overtones of the grave. But either way treating customers like dirt is not good for business and is it not humane. it won't kill you to be nice to everyone.
ReplyDeleteIf he had asked a hetero couple there would have been outrage from the right, but a same-sex couple?
DeleteHappy endings for both.
ReplyDeletexoxo :-)
Yes indeed.
Deletexoxo
Side note---El Compadre Restaurant hosts drag shows in the basement and is featured on the series Bosh---Maybe the manager thought they were at some restaurant in Alabama---Honey, know your audience/clientele---
ReplyDeleteThe manager may have wished he was the one getting the man on man liplock.
DeleteIt gives me whiplash, this side of America. Really, when are people just fucking mind their own business and not focus on who's kissing who??
ReplyDeleteAs for Hide? So fantastic! That's parenting (he's even using the right pronouns!!) done right.
XOXO
He's an excellent example of parenting, loving his child and letting his child be themselves.
Deletexoxo
I'm betting the manager in El Compadre has a little red MAGA hat prefers waiting on white people.
ReplyDeleteI don't like PDAs in a restaurant from anyone, but this manager and his "we don't do that here" needed his ass kicked to the curb.
DeleteIt seems harsh to terminate the manager who thoughtlessly caused the offence. Sack him for sure but ending his life - that's over the top in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteSometimes you gotta teach a lesson??? But "termination" does sound harsh.
DeleteWhat a world, eh, sweetpea? I heard about the restaurant incident ad had the same thought, "Would this have happened to a hetero couple?" But the other story made me smile. We need to honor each other and that Dad is a glorious example of positive behavior, xoxo
ReplyDeleteRight you are, ma'am.
Deletexoxo