Thursday, November 04, 2010

Tube Talk

Top Chef: Just Desserts with Dawn Renewal once again showcased the asshattedness of Morgan, and the hint that maybe he's a little light in his loafers. And the fact that he's a robot with no inflection whatsoever in his voice.
I didn't like when he said Zac was screaming "like a girl." That's reserved for gay men to say to other gay men, not for ALLEGEDLY heterosexual men to say because it sounds like a slam.
Speaking of slamming, what's with Danielle and all the facial ticks? When the judges were praising her for her Conan O'Brien/Andy Richter coupling tea cakes, she was wriggling her face and squinting and then pouting and smiling all at once. It's scary.
Our boy Yigit suffered some since Heather was Pastry Bagged last week, and was nearly sent home for his Madonna/Guy Ritchie desserts. Seriously? He loves Madonna and he sees her as a jiggly bland tart? Time to rethink.
The highlight was flamboyant flamer Zac's win over ALLEGEDLY macho Morgan, with his Julia Andrews/Blake Edwards salute to all things Broadway. I loved how he squealed like a girl when he won.
See, Morgan, I can say it; you can't.

I remember when Joan Rivers used to do the red carpet for the E channel. And I remember how she was suddenly gone because of some of the nasty things she said. And I remember thinking, But E channel? That's Joan. Why you gotta play like dat.
Okay, maybe I didn't say that last line quite that way but......
Joan's back on the E channel with The Fashion Police and she is just as bitchy and nasty as ever. She said that Kate Hudson looked like she been gang raped in the dress she was wearing, and that number 3 ripped off her sleeve.
Awful. Awfully funny. Totally Joan.
And Kelly Osbourne is cute as a bug, and funny as hell, too.
Then there's George Kotsiopoulos who is as cute and gay as a bug's ear.
Of course, with any should this fun, we needed a Debbie Downer, and we have ours in Giuliana Rancid with the giant bobble head.
But ignore her and stick with Joanie, Kelly, and Georgie.
They're fun.

I was all set to bash Oprah, because that's how I roll.
See, this week she had on some high profile gays. First up, was Mrs. Ellen DeGeneres, Portia de Rossi, who told of her struggles with bulimia and anorexia. it was a fascinating story because she pulled no punches whatsoever. And of course, Oprah had to ask about when Portia realized she was a gay woman and how her family reacted.
But then we had previews for her interview with newly out, always hot, Ricky Martin. And in the preview, she asks when he knew he was a homosexual man.
Well, I ranted and raved, because I hear politicians and pastors use the word homosexual because they want to focus on the "sex" part of being a gay man and get the Ick factor rising from their minions,. So, I was pissed that Oprah was doing the same.
Then.......I watched the show. And she was asking the question after reading his coming out statement when he called himself a "fortunate homosexual man."
I apologize Oprah. For that.
Sidenote: Ricky's story of his mother asking him about a recently ended love affair that had left him heartbroken, and she asks him, "Was it with a man?" And he finally says "Yes" and she tells him she loves him and gives him a hug, had me in tears.
I so wish it could be that way for every LGBTQ person who comes out.
Wouldn't that be nice?

We also saw Kathy Griffin: Whores On Crutches the other night.
Her take on Elisabeth Hasselbeck was fabulous,
Her take on Paris was sublime,
Her take on Teresa from The Real Housewives of New Jersey was spectacular!

I saw a video of Tim Gunn discussing this season's Project Runway shocker when no-talent snarky bitch Gretchen won over multi-talented Mondo, and Tim seemed to suggest that Gretchen won because "she needed it more."
She needed the money while Mondo would go on to do great things.
But here's the rub....It's a design show, not a sad sack contest.
I mean, if that's the case, then I'ma try out next season as a wheelchair bound homosexual with a glass eye, seven fingers total--five on one hand, two on the other--homeless man who lives in shoebox along I-95 in Florence South Carolina with my three-legged diabetic cat Lucky, and eats gravel at every meal while creating clothes out of trash thrown out of passing cars. Then, when I'm on the show, I'ma run my wheelchair right off the end of the runway, destroying it forever, so they'll give me the 100K.


froggy said...

If Dawn was edible they'd be every damn challenge using it. Thought it was a mean trick to take away chocolate *after* they went shopping.

Sean said...

Agreed, it was an unnecessary trick, one that took away from both the chefs and the diners.

Does Gail look pregnant to anyone else?

froggy said...

Have been wondering about Gail...

twunty mcslore said...

"She needed it more." What a colossal load of crap. I need 100k. How about I whip up some of my mom's old Butterick patterns, lie and make everyone miserable? I can do that for 6 figures. NO PROBLEM.

And you're right. I bet you could make better stuff out of trash. Heck, I'll throw roadkill in there too.

robertga99 said...

I think Joan is funnier than ever on that show!

Both Oprah shows were awesome!

Kathy Griffin is just amazing...LOVE HER!