Thursday, November 11, 2010

Somebody Slipped Him A Mickey*

*post title blatantly stolen from Joe.My.God. because, well, why mess with perfection.

Disclaimer: This isn't me. Nor is it anyone I know. Seriously.

In Seneca South Carolina, a burglary call for Oconee County sheriff's deputies turned bizarre early Monday morning when they discovered a naked man with a mouse in his rectum.
Now do you get it: Somebody slipped him a mickey?
Officers were responding to a complaint about an alleged burglar. When deputies arrived, they found Noah Smith lying face down and naked inside the doorway of the victim's home. When the deputy tried to make contact with Smith, he slapped the deputy, so naturally the deputy tasered the man, which apparently had no effect.
Calling for reinforcements, deputies approached Noah Smith again, this time in the victim's bedroom, where one officer managed to handcuff before he jumped off the victim's bed and tried to kick other deputies in the room. Smith was then pepper sprayed, though he continued to kick at the officers and otherwise evade capture. Noah Smith was struck with a police baton several times and attempted to bite the deputy.
The deputies covered Noah Smith's head with a blanket to keep themselves from being gnawed on and wrestled him to the ground where they shackled his arms and legs.He was then tied to a stretcher inside and EMS van.
The Seneca Police Department believe Noah Smith was have been high on mushrooms, and identified equipment that could be used to get high in the victim's home.
But it wasn't until Noah Smith was examined at a nearby hospital, that medical personnel found a mouse tail hanging from Smith's rectum. An X-ray revealed a mouse lodged inside Smith.
Noah Smith told emergency room personnel that he could not remember what happened.
Once again, this did not happen to me....nor to any one I know.
But it did happen here, in Christian conservative Bible thumping South Carolina.



Buck said...

He was probably singing
"Burrow harder, burrow deeper
Be my little chimney sweeper"

M - I - C
K - E - Y . . .

Does this get him an automatic membership in the Mickey Mouse Club?

The jokes are endless. . .

Miss Lisa said...

The scamp.

Kyle said...

Wow, I'm speechless.