American Idol starts tonight with the Final 24. Not to be confused with the Hollywood Week 186; or the Last Chance 77; or the Final 12; or the Final 10 who get to go on tour. So many finals. but I'll watch. i have a wee crush on that dirty-blond-haired boy. Dirty. Blond.
Carlos and I sat down to watch Swimming With Sharks over the weekend on the DVR-licious thing. If you haven't seen it before, it stars Kevin Spacey and Frank Whaley. Kevin is the boos from hell, a Hollywood studio exec and Frank is his new assistant who suffers the abuses of his boss. About halfway through I turned to Carlos and said, "This is The Devil Wears Prada and Kevin is Meryl, and Frank is Anne!" Sharks was Prada with a little beating and murder thrown in for good measure.
Dick Cheney is hospitalized again for heart trouble. How this is possible for a man with no heart is beyond me. But I wish him no ill-will, I just wish the Wizard would give him a new heart and get it over with. Of course, while he's at it, the Wizard could give Liz a brain. Just sayin'.
I don't know about the rest of you, but Scott Brown, that new Cosmo Senator from Massachusetts, seems to be doing what he was elected to do: represent the people of Massachusetts. Maybe his election wasn't such a bad thing after all. I'm tentatively cautious.
Somehow I missed this, perhaps because Mitt Romney looks like a Flintstone cartoon character....Mitt Rockney? But, when he was a CPAC he gave one of his WTF speeches. No, he wasn't asking WTF; people in the crowd, and those of us who read it, were asking WTF. Rockney said:“Americans will not endure government-run health care, a new and expensive entitlement, an inexplicable and surely vanishing cut in Medicare, and an even greater burden of taxes.” And then he spoke of his hero, George W Bush.
Really. But see, here's' the rub: as Americans we already "endure" government-run health care, like, um, say, Medicare, Medicaid and the veterans’ health system. And as for those “new and expensive entitlements,” Mitt's mancrush, W, created a $550 billion one in 2003--and added it to the national debt.
Mitt Romney. I used to think he was handsome and stupid, now he's just stupid.
Last month I was in need of some new duds, so i decided to see what was out there. There isn't much to choose from in Smallvile, unless you count WalMart as your fashion HQ. I don't. But we do have a Belks, right here in town. I decided to give them a try. Nice store. Belks.
I found some pants, shirts, sweaters and a belt, and, laden down with goodies, I went off to the cashier.
Would you like to apply for a Belks card?
No, thank you.
If you apply today you can use it on these purchases and get an extra 15% off."
Booooiiiinnnnnnngggggg!!!!! An extra 15%? The shirt was 35% off; sweaters, too. The pants were half off.....my ass....but I kid, they were marked down 50%. An extra 15% would be a Martha Stewart Good Thing.
Sign me up. Savings is my middle name!
Slam Bam ThanK You Ma'am. Pants, shirts, sweaters, belt for $90.01!
So, the bill comes, and I decide to pay online. I head to the Belks website and realize I needed to activate the card they sent me in order to pay the account. I got the card, and got on the phone. They wanted the card number, the last 4 digits of my social, and could I squeeze a drop of blood into the receiver for the Belks DNA databank.
I kid. But it could happen.
I entered all the numerical info and got the dreaded Please wait for the next available operator. I wait, and then this man comes on and tries to sell me the Belks credit insurance plan.
No thanks. I just wanted to activate my card.
But, sir, if you were to lose your job and be unable to pay--
No thanks. I just want to activate the card so I can pay off this purchase. I am not interested in the insurance plan.
But, sir, I know none of us plans on losing their jobs, but if, god forbid, it happens--
Look. Brian? Is it? I have a head cold. I am oozing phlegm from every orifice in my body right now and the last thing I need is to argue with a voice on the phone about whether or not I may or may not lose my job in the future. Now, if you want to keep your job, and not have me ask for your supervisor, you'll understand that when a client says "No thank you": you take that and say "Have a good day, sir."
Have a good day, sir.
You, too. Brian.
Moral of the story is two-fold:
Number One: Fifteen percent off items already marked down is dee-lightful.
And 'B': Don't piss off a queen with a head cold.