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Carlos had a court interpretation the other day, and over
dinner he was telling me about the case of a young Hispanic girl who kept
running away from home, spending days and days at a friend’s house. Well, apparently the young girl had a girlfriend at the
other house and that’s why she kept running away from home. Carlos was telling
m that the girl’s mother was upset because she kept coming home with doohickeys
on her neck. “Hickeys.” “What?” “They’re called hickeys, not doohickeys.” “What’s the difference?” “A hickey is sometimes called a ‘love bite,’ while a doohickey is
a word you use for a tool or something, the name of which you can't remember.” He looked confused. So I called him a doohickey! |
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This Tuxedo Memory is from January 2019: “On the chilly days Tuxedo likes to use MaxGoldberg as a
pillow.” And MaxGoldberg never really seemed to mind! Those two boys were the best of friends. |
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I just finished watching AHS: Delicate and I am officially
done with the show if it ever comes back. Gone are the days of Jessica Lange, Sarah Paulsen, Evan
Peters, and Frances Conroy to be replaced by Kim Kardastrophe. I’m done. |
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Please tell me that I wasn’t the only one who thought that little
piggy was at the Piggly Wiggly or some such? |
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Does anyone else find it ironic that the anti-immigrant
crowd wants immigrants to speak English and yet the anti-immigrant crowd
clearly has its own problem with the language? |
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Okay, why? Why the need for a belt that is so much bigger
than your waist that when it hangs loose it has a penis drawn on the backside? I mean, I’m not a prude, unzip your pants and let your real
penis fly! |
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And here’s the gift that keeps on giving, for those days
when I run out of Fucks to give, I always have a stash on hand. |
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Ever notice that when there’s an earthquake in a Blue state the GOP always calls it a sign
from God as punishment for liberal politics, but when tornadoes tear through a Red state all
you get from the GOP is :::crickets::: |
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And then we have the latest photograph of our esteemed
Supreme Kangaroo Court of the United States. All hail SKCOTUS! |
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Chris Williamson is a fitness model , a reality tv star, a podcaster, a YouTuber and a club promoter but Would You Hit It?  |
Oh Bobulah! Until just this moment, I thought the pig was shopping for veggies at the Farmer's Market!
ReplyDeleteI always thought the piggy went to market to shop, not to market to be sold and eaten!
DeleteDoohickeys, LOL!
ReplyDeleteI love Carlos' interpretation of slang!
DeletePoor Carlos, though I suspect his command of the English language is further along than the people in the vehicle.
ReplyDeleteI need to get myself a jar of those extra fucks.
Carlos' language is far better! He just gets slang twisted sometimes!
DeleteI need a jar of those energy fucks for my desk at work!!!
ReplyDeleteI was wondering if there'd be a doohickey story this week.
Honey...i got one nice thing already hanging between my legs....I don't need a belt to be hanging. I don't get it? That would drive me nuts.
I saw one episode of AHS. What a wreck!!!!! That show has been past its expiration date three seasons ago. And your correct...all the talent of actors in Hollywood and Murphy casts Kink????? He is yet one more reason this family won't go away.
I have no hope for the Supreme Court on anything anymore. Let the whole of them implode.
I stuck with AHS because I thought, hope,d prayed, it would get better; it did not.
DeleteAnd what man wants a flat, thin flaccid pseudo penis???
I can't imagine what Kristi Noem was thinking, telling that story in her book. She'll never recover from it. (Which is a good thing.)
ReplyDeleteAs I recall, we watched one season of AHS, the one with Connie Britton. I liked it OK but felt no need to go further. I'm not much of a scary-story person.
Those belts just make explicit what a hanging belt is already implying.
I read she thought it would appeal to Hair Furor and make her look tough when all it does is make her look like a dog murderer.
DeleteI enjoyed a lot of AHS but the last few seasons have been a mess and this year especially bad.
Those belts. Oy.
I thought the piggy went shopping too! Oh dear...
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I wasn't the only one!
DeleteI never really watched AHS, it was always on a network I didn't get. I'll pass on Chris, he looks a bit arrogant. Kristi and Kari, they share more in common that the first initial of their first name. No one ever told me about the piggie.
ReplyDeletePoor piggy
DeleteThat belt though 🤣🤣🤣 and thanks for the AHS warning. I'd recorded the series but won't waste my time viewing.
ReplyDeleteAHS wasn't good, at all, even the Kardastrophe-less scenes.
Deletethe dog's mother
ReplyDelete(Carlos) (kitties always)
xoxo :-)
Always.
Deletexoxo
Honey, it's always been shopping with the piggy.
ReplyDeleteAnd Vaseline Lady and Plastic Surgery Grandma probably hate each other. You see, both want to be Cheeto's running mate.
AHS looks very polished but you are right, there's SOMETHING missing. Talent?
Meow.
XOXO
A severe lack of talent on AHS. One more thing ruined by a Kardastrophe.
Deletexoxo
1. People in 'Murrica always have trouble with their apostrophes! 🤪
ReplyDelete2. MAGA women always get work done on their faces and always end up looking like the same woman! Like that Twilight Zone episode! The same blankness! Kristi, Kari..Khrist! 😶
3. Little piggies! As with so many nursery rhymes, the backstory is positively gruesome! 😱
4. Even while resting with MaxGoldberg, Tuxedo has one eye open! Was he paranoid or just sensed that a camera had entered the room? What a perfect little character! 😻
Apostrophes are hard!
DeleteKari and Kristi have blank expressions because their heads are empty.
Tuxedo always sensed a camera pointed at him!
Say it ain’t so! I always thought this little piggy was shopping at the market!
ReplyDeleteEvery time I see “Tales of Carlos” I get giddy.
I don’t DO reality TV stars.
Piggy was being SOLD at market!!
DeleteTales of Carlos are hilarious!
The your vs you're problem sounds like a good game show for Trump supporters. And it is not that hard to figure out which one is the right one. Well I guess if you are dumb then everything is hard. You and your doohickey take care.
ReplyDeleteI saw a meme that said the apostrophe is the difference between "Knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit."
DeleteThe doohickey and I are looking forward to the weekend.
That bumper sticker on the car was priceless!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, right?
DeleteI commend you for finishing AHS. We couldn't get all the way through Part 1. I head tell that he wrote this season specifically for Kardastrophe and said, "Just be yourself." She's such a lousy actress, she couldn't do THAT.
ReplyDeleteLove Rudnick's multiple choice tweet!
I was a glutton for punishment and hoped it would get better.
DeleteIt.Did.Not.
Nope on the belt, can I order a case of Emergency Fucks please, a great big snort on Paul Rudnick’s post and I certainly like the new SCOTUS picture! Your posts about your pets are always a joy to read - we think of our dearly departed loved ones (pets) often. And lord knows, MAGAts can’t spell even if they’re, I mean, there, no, no, no, their lives depended on it!
ReplyDeleteWe all need a stash of fucks to give!
DeleteAll seems good in Bobworld today. South Carolina's answer to Disneyworld. Trumpists will have lots of fun there.
ReplyDeleteIt's a beautiful day here. And MAGAts won't ever like me.
DeleteCarlos Tales gave me a laugh to start the day.
ReplyDeleteThat makes me smile, Andrew; glad it could do that for you.
DeleteKangaroo Court!! Very funny and about as useful as a mob of roos in the outback.
ReplyDeleteI DID always think that Piggy went shopping when it went to market. I wondered if it would buy treats for the piggies who stayed home having roast beef or having none.
Yeah, no one questions a piggy having roast beef!
Delete