I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Money can’t buy happiness, or so some folks say, but apparently it can by your daughter an NAACP Image award … if you’re Blue Ivy and your parents are famewhores Jay-Z and Beyoncé.

Yes, Blue Ivy won an award for … wait for it, it’s epic and shady and quite the joke … for Songwriting and Singing!

At last week’s 51st annual NAACP Image awards Beyoncé received a music win for “Outstanding Duo, Group or Collaboration” for the song “Brown Skin Girl”, which features vocals from Blue Ivy so she, too, won an award.

It looks like another awards show that will do anything to get Beyoncé to show up.

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Lindsay Lohan is busy. I mean, she’s managing her sister’s career, she host events at nightclubs—or she’s a hostess at Applebee’s, I forget—and she’s a panelist on Masked Singer Australia, and now Lindsay has wormed her way to her best and favorite career … no, not call girl or drug mule … as an actor!

According to the Hollywood Reporter, my BFF Lohan is in the final rounds of negotiations to star in her next big feature entitled Cursed …which is not the story of her career thus far. The film is set to star Mickey Rourke and will be a supernatural thriller directed by Steven Monroe who directed the 2010 remake of the cult horror classic and twelve-time Oscar winning film … I kid … I Spit on Your Grave. 

Starring Lohan, it might be retitled I Spit on Your Career.

Mickey will play a famous psychiatrist who has to team up with Lindsay’s character … a police detective … wait, is it a comedy? … to try and stop crazed psychiatric patient … a role written for Lindsey though she passed on it … from killing five people held hostage in a remote house.

Sounds horrifying.

You know, cuz it may star Lohan and Rourke.

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You know a show about wannabees trying to become famous singers has jumped the shark when they stage an emergency and hire quite possibly the most horrible actress—only her singing is worse—to act the part of victim.

Apparently …ALLEGEDLY … there was a gas leak on the set of American Idol a while back and Katy Perry chose to use that moment to create an audition tape.

In that episode, Katy complains about smelling gas; the script went like this:

Katy: “Do you guys smell gas? It’s pretty intense!”

Luke Bryan: “We’re getting heavy propane.”

Katy: “I have a slight headache from it … Oh, it’s bad, it’s really bad.”

Sirens go off! Contestants are rushed from the room! Ryan Seacrest hides behind women and children!

Katy, to a group of firefighters standing around her: “I’m not feeling good.”

And she falls, daintily to the ground, throwing a leg up as she does so.

And the Oscar goes to ….the firefighters who struggled not to laugh as Katy feigned her ‘illness’.

Seriously.

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When last we left-unhappily-married-for-twelve-days Jon Peters and Pamela Anderson, we learned that he wasn’t keen on the idea of having a media whore for a wife so he texted d-i-v-o-r-c-e- to her and that was that. Seventy-four-year-old Jon said he wanted to live a quiet live and …

He dumped 52-year-old  Anderson and ran back to his 34-year-old ex-girlfriend, ‘actress’ Julia Faye West, the woman he was engaged to until Pammy came along.

Jon and Pamela got married on January 20 and were done by Groundhog’s Day when Punxsutawney Phil came out, saw his shadow and told Jon the marriage was over.

Sources—Pamela Anderson—say the “marriage” ended because Jon was very controlling and didn’t like Pamela hustling for Jasmin.com. Other sources—Jon—say Pamela dumped him after he paid her debts, totaling $200,000.

And that makes Pammy mad:

“I don’t need anyone to pay my bills. I own a $10-million-dollar house in Malibu Colony!”

Foot stomp; she told him.

Anyway, now Jon is once again back in the arms of Julia Faye West, the co-star of   Reality Queen!, alongside acting titans Denise Richards and Mike Tyson.

Julia, like Pamela, has a “passion for animal welfare,” and has “rescued countless animals.” She’s also an author of books that “emphasize positivity and self-esteem.” She is “enjoying a spirited journey into all aspects of wellness” and described her ideal man as “a perfectly imperfect human being who loves me like I’m a rose in full bloom with him.”

It looks like Peters broke up with a 34-year-old version of Pamela Anderson for Original Recipe Anderson, and then got back together with the reboot.

Okurrrrr ….

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Last week Beyoncé performed at the Kobe and Gianna Bryant Celebration of Life at the Staples Centre in LA and, well, this happened …

While photographers were allowed at the event, Beyoncé’s “team”—minions—banned all of them from taking pictures of her while she was performing because, as we remember from her 2013 Superbowl Halftime show, she gets the ugly on when she sings. And when photos from that event turned up on the internet, Beyoncé’s team minions tried to have them banned from the internet!

Get over yourself. You’re a lip-syncing weave in a wind tunnel.

PS Here are those photos Bey tried to ban …

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What do you do if you’re a Lohan and you’ve been arrested for DUI?

And what do you do if you’re another Lohan and you get arrested for DUI?

Well, if you’re Lindsay’s Mama, Dina Lohan, and if you’re Lindsay’s Step-Mama, Kate Major Lohan, you move in together.

Serious. Dina and Kate are now full-on living together and commiserating over their terrible 2020s.

Dina was arrested for driving under the influence after she hit and run a parked car at an Outback Steakhouse. Naturally, she denies being drunk and claims police brutality—the police stopped her from drinking, I’m guessing, and it was brutal—Kate was also arrested for drunk driving—with a BAC of 0.24—after an anonymous tipster Michael Lohan notified police. And the next day Michael was arrested for ALLEGEDLY choking Kate and he says she was just getting back at him for the snitch.

So now, Dina and Kate have admitted to being white trash low-life’s and have decided to share expenses … cuz liquor and Uber don’t come cheap, y’all.

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Look, I get that the coronavirus is nothing to sneeze at …bad pun …. Nothing to laugh at, but even a global pandemic has its upside:

There is an outbreak of the virus in Venice, Italy production has been shut down on the seventh Mission: Impossible movie.

Like I said, silver linings…always look for the silver lining.

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I Didn't Say It ...

Pete Buttigieg, at a campaign rally in Colorado, to 9-year-old Zachary Ro who told Buttigieg, “Thank you for being so brave. Would you help me tell the world I’m gay, too? I want to be brave like you”:

“I don’t think you need a lot of advice from me on bravery, you seem pretty strong. It took me a long time to figure out how to tell even my best friend that I was gay, let alone go out there and tell the world. And to see you willing to come to terms with you who you are in a room full of thousands of people you never met, that’s really something. Let me tell you a couple things that might be useful. The first thing is that it won’t always be easy, but that’s okay because you know who you are and that’s really important because when you know who you are you have a center of gravity that can hold you together when all kinds of chaos is happening around you.”

This is really why I like Pete; it’s not his being gay, it’s his common sense approach and his plainspoken way of answering questions.

There’s no runaround.

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Garrett Clayton, openly gay actor and singer, responding to social media trolls dragging him for his feminine look in Brolesque:

“I’ve been getting comments on promotional shots for Brolesque that concern me and want to address this… I believe there are many types of beauty in this world. And I’m sure most of you would agree. My issues are the concerning comments regarding me in my costumes for Brolesque. Sure, they’re more feminine compared to past postings of mine. But I feel just as attractive in [a] basic, instaboy flexing shot as I do in that corset. My job as an actor is to explore all different types of roles, to explore all different types of life. I’ve been so fortunate so far in my career to play vastly different roles. I will never limit myself in that regard, because I see the value in variations in beauty, and I plan to explore them all. I don’t care if you’re skinny, plus size, feminine, masculine, tall, short, or anything in between or anything outside of that. I think a person is beautiful for all the different sides that make them up… To my point, I will continue to feel the same about myself. I feel just as attractive/beautiful being a sweaty, fit, flexing man as I do being all done up in my corset with a full face of makeup and dripping in pearls. If you’re only here for me to be shirtless, pushing some false, one-sided image of myself all the time on Instagram… you’re going to be sorely disappointed. In the last six months I’ve been everything from Pennywise the Clown, the Huntsman in Snow White, to now being a Tim Curry-type Xtina in Brolesque. Whether it’s on stage or in TV/film, in future jobs I hope I get to explore an even wider variety of characters, be it short, tall, wide, thin, masc., or fem… THEY ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL; THEY ARE ALL WORTHY. I will never limit myself, and I hope you don’t either. ”

Does it really make a difference? I mean, it’s clothing, a costume, drag. It’s not who we are but how we choose to express ourselves at a moment in time, a minute in time, a day in time, a year in time. We can’t all look alike or dress alike or act alike or love alike. When will we learn that different isn’t worse, or even better, it’s just different?

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Wilson Cruz, gay actor and activist, on how his role as a gay teen on My So-called Life, helped his father come to terms with having a gay son:

“It was through his watching of the series that he was able to understand what my life was really like. And we were able to have a conversation a year later because of the story that he was able to watch. And so you look at this man who was incredibly conservative. Growing up, I never thought he would ever accept my sexuality, but because of a TV show, he was able to change his mind. My character Rickie Vasquez gets kicked out of his home on the show and there’s a whole episode about it,” he says. “And I got kicked out of my house at Christmas just like Rickie did. And my father watched that episode. And when the credits rolled, and about 10, 15 minutes later, my phone rings and he said, ‘Hey, I think we need to talk.’ And it was because of his watching the show. And so I went home and we had a conversation that we probably couldn’t have had unless he had sat down and watched.”

Sometimes people have to see themselves for how they act, and then they understand.

Lucky that Wilson had that outlet for his father to see how he was treating his son simply for being gay.

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Tucker Carlson, Fox hack, bashing Pete Buttigieg’s military service:

“You really get the impression Buttigieg spent his time in Afghanistan stringing Taliban ears onto necklaces. As he told Beto O’Rourke at one of the Democratic debates, ‘I don’t need lessons from you on courage.’ Ugh. Who talks like that? Not people who’ve actually been there, that’s for sure. Phonies talk like that. And Buttigieg is nothing, if not a phony.”

This from a conservative channel; you know the conservatives, the ones who always say they stand up for our military.

But what do we expect from Carlson, who in the last couple of years has proven himself a racist asshat who can’t dance?

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Chris Matthews, Hardball host, apologizing for a remark he made comparing the inability of establishment Democrats to stop Bernie Sanders to France’s futile hopes against Germany’s invasion in 1940:

“Senator Sanders, I’m sorry for comparing anything from that tragic era, in which so many suffered, especially the Jewish people, to an electoral result in which you were the well-deserved winner. This is going to be a hard-fought heated campaign of ideas. In the days and weeks and months ahead I will strive to do a better job myself of elevating the political discussion.”

I doubt will see you better, Chris, that’s too big a stretch.

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Bobservations

Carlos got a cold, and I kept myself from saying ‘I won’t get it’ because I knew Karma would get me. So, I kept saying to myself, for four days, ‘I am not getting that cold.’ And it worked.

But then Friday night, as I drifted off to sleep, I said to myself, ‘I hope I don’t get it.’ And Saturday morning it was there. And Sunday it was there. And Monday it was there, and I phoned my boss to say I wouldn’t be in that day. Carlos seemed shocked, and as I predicted, he said to me:

“It’s not that bad.”

I sniffled, snorted and phlegm’d something like:

“I don’t want to spread it around at work.”

And again, he said:

“It’s not that bad. It’s no big deal.”

Says the man who had been sick and sniffling and snorting and phlegm-ing and wrapping himself in blankets and drinking hot tea and coughing and wheezing for seven days.

And yet me,  48 hours in, I’m making too much of it?

Wait until I feel better, honey.

Co-worker: Hey Bob, how many cats do you have?

Me: Three. The Great Tuxedo, MaxGoldberg, and Consuelo Roca-Jones.

Coworker: Did you adopt them all?

Me: No, they’re all my biological cats.

Co-worker: …

Kentucky Governor, and Democrat, because, of course, Andy Beshear became the state’s first sitting governor to attend a rally staged by the Fairness Campaign where he spoke against discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity and supported a ban on conversion therapy for LGBTQ youth:

“Diversity and inclusion, they aren’t buzz words. They are values. And they are keys to making Kentucky stronger. Kentucky cannot reach its full potential if all of our people don’t feel supported to be themselves.”

In.Kentucky.

And good on Andy, who is totes adorbs.

While David Glosser was not invited to his nephew Stephen Miller’s white supremacy wedding to fellow _____ goon Katie Waldman at impeached president’s D.C. hotel last week, he did send a gift; and it was  personalized for Nazi Stephen Miller to boot.

In the name of Miller and his new bride, Glosser donated to HIAS, a Jewish-American group that has long done important and lifesaving work advocating for refugees. Glosser wrote on Facebook:

“[HIAS] helped to rescue my family from Czarist oppression in the Russian Empire in 1906. Had our refugee forebears not been helped to emigrate to the USA, they and their children would have been murdered by the racial madness of Nazism.”

Miller has used his role as a White House Supremacist Advisor to turn his personal views into official United States policy, which has resulted in the Muslim ban, the repeal of the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program, the family separation policy resulting in the state-sanctioned kidnapping of thousands of children, and the obliteration of the nation’s asylum and refugee programs, just to name some devastating examples.

I like the gift, though a Nazi like Miller and his wife, Eva, er Katie, didn’t.

And now, in sports … hang with me, it’s about dick, although not a fun dick story.

It’s painful; a French football—or soccer to some—player was suspended for biting his opponent’s penis during a game between SC Terville and AS Soetrich. Apparently two players began fighting and a third player jumped in to break it up.

And, since no good deed goes unpunished, one of the players in the fight bit down on his dick. The victim, who has not been named, went to the ER, where he got a dozen stitches and a doctor’s note saying he can’t go to work for four days.

Four days for a dick bite? And to add insult to teeth marks in the penis, the biter, also not named, was suspended from soccer for five years.

Five years? That must’a been some dick bite.

The State newspaper of South Carolina endorsed … Pete Buttigieg for President this week:

“The Democratic Party’s presidential nominee will face a formidable general election opponent in Republican President Donald _____, an incumbent armed with a strong economic record and a force of personality that has spawned a fiercely loyal base of supporters.

It is vital, then, for the Democrats to nominate an energetic, disciplined candidate who can offer voters a powerful yet pragmatic vision of a better America. The Democrats need a nominee who seeks to bring Americans together based on broad common ground — and not divide them along narrow interests.

Among the Democratic presidential candidates, former South Bend, Indiana Mayor Pete Buttigieg is the best person to meet these challenges. On Saturday, the voters of South Carolina should choose Buttigieg in the state’s Democratic presidential primary.”

We’re going to hear Pete speak on Friday and will be voting for him on Saturday.

Andrea Casalino. He’s an Italian model and actor and personal trainer. And he’s making the temperature—well, at least my temperature—rise in Smallville today.

Briefly sexy. Sexy pecs. Facial hair sexy.

Yum.

Architecture Wednesday: Rocafull House

There’s probably no better feeling than taking a 100-year-old abandoned building and turning it into a home.

The Rocafull House is in the Cabanyal neighborhood of Valencia, Spain, an old fisherman's village. As in most buildings from that time, and in that city, it is rectangular, narrow and deep, sitting right on the sidewalk with a nice patio in the back.

Better still, the developer retained the home’s original solid brick walls and wooden beams. Everything else was taken out, restructured rebuilt, leaving a massive open plan on the main floor, with bedrooms above.

In order to keep the house warm in winter, and cool in summer, there was a need for cross ventilation, through the front door and out to the back patio. A wooden mezzanine was built to create space upstairs for an additional bedroom, and to add a second-floor terrace that overlooks the back patio with an outdoor kitchen and shower.

The clients and architect chose to go old school in the remodel, using the traditions of clay walls, tile floors, and wooden ceilings, window casings, blinds and doors.

Great care was taken to recreate the house into an improved version of its original self. Hopefully it will last another hundred years …

Click to emBIGGERate ...

ArchDaily

Vote.Them.All.Out.

If Alabama lawmakers get their way, transgender students would be required … required … to play sports under their “gender assignment at birth” instead of how they live their lives.

The House State Government Committee voted 8-4 for the Gender Is Real Legislative Act, or GIRL Act—isn’t that a cute acronym from a bunch of backwoods asshats—proposed by Republican, because, of course, Representative Chris Pringle. The bill, which awaits input from the full House, would ban K-12 schools from allowing trans athletes to compete under their gender identity, and force them to participate under the gender listed on their original birth certificate.

Nationally, opponents criticized the measure saying it is motivated by fear and discrimination and ignorance towards trans people, but transphobic bigot Chris . Pringle said the bill is designed to ensure a level playing field in girls’ sporting events:

“These young ladies work very hard in order to condition themselves and go out to compete. I want to make sure the person that is competing against them does not have an unfair advantage based on the biological effects of testosterone.”

And then Pringle goes on to say that he knows of no competition problems in the state but says disputes have risen elsewhere so he wants to write bigotry and hate into law.

Carmarion Anderson, Alabama state director of the Human Rights Campaign, said there is no evidence that trans athletes are disrupting athletic competition and says the bill is rooted in discrimination:

“Fairness is not discrimination. Fairness is about allowing a child to live out their truth and be guided also by the love of their parents.”

Here’s the deal, this viciousness comes from the top down; when you have a president saying trans Americans should not be allowed to serve in the military that kind of bigotry trickles down into our schools, and legislatures, where hatred becomes law.

Vote Blue, no matter who; I doubt there’s hope for Alabama because they’re bigotry lives and breeds and breathes in their politics, but we can stop it elsewhere and then one day, someday, maybe Alabama will learn a thing or two.

Tuesday Thought #3

Tuesday Thought #2

Tuesday Thought #1

PR 18 Ep 11: Let The Games Begin

After a brief moment at the penthouse, where Victoria gets several dozen flowers from her husband for her birthday, we are mercifully taken to the runway for this week’s challenge.

Karlie introduces the designtestants to six women who are 2020 Summer Olympians:  rugby player Naya Tapper, track and marathoner Tatyana McFadden, freestyle wrestler Helen Maroulis, indoor volleyball player Foluke Akinradewo Gunderson, shotgun shooter Kim Rhode, and sprinter/long jumper Scout Bassett. Since the athletes have unique bodies specialized to their sports, the designtestants will make custom victory dresses for their client.

The Button Bag comes out and the designtestants are matched up with a client: Geoffrey gets Naya, Nancy gets Tatyana, Victoria gets Helen, Sergio gets Foluke, Brittany gets Kim, and Marquise gets Scout.

Sounds fun, but, yikes, it’s another one-day challenge, though they have $400 for Mood.

Let’s rip …

TOPS AND BOTTOMS

BRITTANY

Kim Rhode, shooter

Kim wants black. Brittany likes prints and color. But she claims she can adapt, though I’m not sure we’ve ever seen her do that. Kim wants ‘the girls’ out, so there will be a deep plunge at the neckline, but she also has very defined tan lines on her arms from shooting, so she wants those covered up in some kind of strap or sleeve.

Christian likes that Brittany is working in dark colors, which aren’t in her comfort zone, but wants her to “push it” more into her aesthetic.

And yet Kim seems to like the look, though that’s not the highest praise, so maybe a push wouldn’t be the thing to do for a woman who knows how to shoot a gun? Plus, there’s a whole lot of cleavage tumbling out of this dress, so, yeah, even I’m worried.

WHAT SHE SAID

Mine’s the most formal, but it’s exactly what Kim wanted, and it looks like me.

WHAT I SAID

It’s nice, it’s safe, it’s basic; it’s a lot of boobs. It looks nothing like minimal high-low strappy Brittany.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

The judges critique the looks with the client onstage first: Elaine says Kim looks like “a bag of money,” while Karlie questions the plunging neckline—even though Kim wanted it.

After the client leaves, the knives come out: Nina calls it a “smart fabric,” but a “very cliché dress”—a “Little Black Dress” that they’ve seen before—and wished Brittany had put her creative stamp on it. Guest judge, Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn also wished Brittany had pushed Kim out of her comfort zone a little. Brandon thought the dress could be worn by any woman, which in this challenge, is not a compliment.

GEOFFREY

Naya Tapper, rugby

Geoffrey bonds with Naya about rugby, though he doesn’t really know what it is: is it played with a net? Um, no, it’s not.

He is also one of three designers opting for a red dress; a party dress for Naya’s night out celebrating with girlfriends. He makes a mini miniskirt with a long slit and strappy shoulders, and Christian is worried about that.

“It’ll be something,” they both say, though they mean different things. But Christian is also worried that the waistline is too high, and the bust line is too low, and the hips are doing something tragic.

Geoffrey recuts the entire look in about a minute. And then disaster strikes: someone … :::cough::: Nancy :::cough::: … melted black double-stick tape on the iron and it ended up on his dress, and we all know the judges will spot it right off.

And Christian is still worried about the hips, so at the very last moment, with everyone headed to the runway, Geoffrey opts to solve that problem. It’s played to look like he won’t make it, but then we see him outside smoking, so it was all for drama.

WHAT HE SAID

She is nailing it …she looks so happy.

WHAT I SAID

I like it though that slit is dangerously close to the fine china, and the fit of the top seems baggy.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

With Naya present, Brandon says she looks “expensive,” though he also notes the stain. Lindsey calls her “confident” and “glowing” and says she “looks incredible.”

With Naya gone, Elaine isn’t going to take points off for the stain but called it “loose around the chest area.” Elaine was “offended” the “tacky” and “stiff” and “rigid” and “shiny” fabric, but Karlie thought Geoffrey made the only victorious party dress for a woman in her 20s going out to a club. Nina worried that when Naya moved you could almost see an “accident.” Brandon thought it was cool and chic.

SERGIO

Foluke Akinradewo Gunderson, indoor volleyball

Foluke is pregnant, and Sergio has never made a maternity dress before because his dresses are too expensive for them to want to invest in with their bodies changing, so Mister Political won’t do maternity. Gimme a break.

Christian doesn’t think Sergio’s design is very “exciting” and Sergio thinks Christian doesn’t understand because he wasn’t in the client consultation. These two are so uncomfortable together because Sergio doesn’t think he needs Christian’s critiques; and yet maybe another set of eyes could have spared us those sleeves?

Still, Foluke seems happy with what Sergio is designing, and that’s kind of all that matters. Kind of … until Sergio opens his yap again:

“My design is so good that she’s already won the gold.”

Cue smackdown; literal and figurative.

WHAT HE SAID

I love what I’ve done … from the color to the silhouette, it makes me stand out.

WHAT I SAID

It’s an A-line, T-shirt gown with a cutout in back.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

With Foluke onstage, Elaine loved that it wasn’t traditional maternity wear. Nina thinks Sergio celebrated her pregnancy while still making it feminine and sexy. Lindsey thought Foluke looked confident while Brandon called the color a hard choice but said Foluke looked “gorgeous.”

With Foluke gone, Karlie thought it was “beautiful” and “stunning,” but said it was a day dress and not a gown. Elaine wanted the baby bump showcased more and when Sergio clutched his pearls and said he would never make a pregnant woman wear something tight, Elaine gave him the Welteroth Head Tilt Eye Roll™ which spoke volumes. Brandon thought the chiffon on the bottom was “beautiful” but felt the sleeves and the darts were off.

MARQUISE

Scout Bassett, sprinter/long jump

Scout is tiny, and clearly has a hard time finding adult looks to wear; she also has a prosthetic leg and really wants to show it off, and Marquise shows her a sketch with a very long slit.

Perfection.

Marquise also goes for red at Mood, but Scout is from China and wants the red to represent China and America. He also accommodates her with her prosthetic leg because heels are tough to maneuver in, and creates a look she can wear with gold sneakers.

Christian thinks “there’s something there” with Marquise’s braiding effect for the straps, but says it’s missing a “cool” factor and doesn’t seem very Marquise. It feels a little “bridesmaid’s” to Christian—which is a death knell on the PR—but Marquise, and Scout, love it, so …

WHAT HE SAID

I feel honored to make a dress for Scout.

WHAT I SAID

I like that she rocks the leg, but other than that, it seems kinda basic.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

With Scout onstage, explaining that often times disabled people feel a need to hide their disability, Elaine says the community sees Scout. Nina thinks Scout looks “amazing” and that the dress is “perfect for her petite figure.”

With Scout gone, Karlie loved the reveal of her prosthetic leg, but felt the bodice was “more sheer than it needed to be.” Lindsey thought the design looked very young in spite of the slit and wished Marquise had gone more “sophisticated.” Nina, who has liked that Marquise makes an outfit for himself that pairs with his model, wished he’d spent more time on Scout’s look, and not made his own—very cool—shirt.

VICTORIA

Helen Maroulis, freestyle wrestling

Apparently, it’s Victoria’s birthday and she has gotten dozens of roses from her hubby, and Brittany’s Green-Eyed Monster says:

“Look, it’s a rose for every time she’s been on the top.”

To be fair, Victoria has hovered at or near the bottom lately. And then, maybe since it’s her birthday, or just plain dumb luck, Victoria gets Helen, who wants a high-low, asymmetrical red dress with cutouts and straps. Brittany doesn’t fail to notice this either.

So, Victoria makes a “Victoria dress” in red for Helen, who loves it so much she says:

"I'll wear this with pins in it!"

One sticking point is that Victoria doesn’t like dresses without sleeves and Helen wants no sleeves. Christian pushes her to leave the sleeves off but is worried about the length of the salsa dress.

WHAT SHE SAID

Helen looks very confident and happy .I gave her what she wanted.

WHAT I SAID

It’s fun, it’s sexy, it’s salsa, but that flap hanging down just seems odd to me.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

With Helen onstage: Nina loves Helen’s salsa, and says fashion can be transformative and feminine and athletic.

With Helen gone, Nina sees “Victoria’s DNA” in the look. Brandon didn’t mind the length but hated the fabric. Elaine noted that Victoria was the only designer whose aesthetic came through but let’s be fair, it was the fact that Helen wanted exactly what Victoria always makes. Lindsey loved the dress and how it accentuated the model’s personality.

NANCY

Tatyana McFadden, track and field

At first, I felt Nancy had the most difficult challenge because Tatyana uses a wheelchair, but Nancy was totally up for it. Tatyana says she has trouble finding clothes because of her broad, muscular frame … and her wheelchair … and admits she’s a “little extra,” so she wants a train.

Nancy loves the idea of a train, and of creating an adaptable design that Tatyana can get in and out of herself. The biggest challenge is the train; will it get caught under the wheelchair? Will it move right? Luckily Nancy takes the time to test out the idea and figures out that shorter and narrower works best.

Nancy ends up making five pieces … blouse, corset, train, skirt, and a second skirt beneath the tulle of the first. It’s a lot but she really wants to give her client what she wants.

Once again, Christian is worried about how much time Nancy is going to need to finish her look; but that’s the usual critique with Nancy who works at her own pace and in her own way.

WHAT SHE SAID

I’m just thrilled beyond words.

WHAT I SAID

I love the train, and the skirt, but the detail around the top and across the arms seems overworked.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

With Tatyana present: Karlie called it “gorgeous,” and said no one noticed the chair; she also notes that if she had that body, she’d never put a shirt on. Brandon is wowed by the reveal of the second skirt, and Nina loves the “fashion,” “function” and “fantasy.” Lindsey calls it “stunning look.”

With Tatyana gone, Elaine thought the color was “a little uninteresting,” though Nina thought it “the right color.” She also loved that Nancy went the extra mile and thought about Tatyana getting in and out of the dress. Karlie did think the trim was a little “heavy” and more texture than necessary.  Brandon said Nancy did a great job of accommodating her client.

It looks like Nancy might finally get her win. Lindsey’s top two were Nancy and Victoria, while Elaine gave it to Victoria. Nina was especially impressed with Nancy and how she “thought about everything” and Brandon admired that Nancy always cares about the person she’s dressing.

Nancy gets her win.

As for the Bottom, Lindsey thought they all did well, but if anyone was to go it should be Marquise; bitch! Nina also thought his was too simple; et tu, Nina? Karlie thought Sergio had a pretty standard silhouette … ooh, wouldn’t it be wild if Sergio went home?

It would have been, but, because they had all pleased their clients, no one … no one … is going home.

Every week, when we watch the show, as Karlie wishes the designers ‘good luck’ in the challenge, Carlos says:

“Don’t fuck it up.”

And I remind him that is RuPaul’s line. But then this week Karlie Kloss uttered those very  words and Carlos was nowhere around to hear them. Luckily, I recorded it for him. Now, if she’d just say:

“Bring back my girls.”

Carlos would be over the Moon.

LINES OF THE NIGHT

Geoffrey, on how he isn’t into sports but has muscles:

“My muscles are more for visual sport … They’re for physical sports too, but just not Olympic sport.”

Hot to trot, eh, Geoffrey?

Geoffrey, during a conversation with Victoria about the word ‘word,’ which she mistakes as ‘weird’:

“She’s funny, she’s mean, she’s everything you could want in a girl.”

He may be onto something there.

Victoria, when the judges decide to keep them all:

“What competition is this where nobody goes home?”

Consider yourself lucky girl, because you tried to quit once and should have been sent home at least twice.

Sergio’s arrogance reveals it’s ugly mug again, as he says Brittany doesn’t has “as much of a technical background” as he does, but he’ll always help because he wants to win for his talent and not because someone, or anyone, or all of them, is not as talented as he.

After the ruling, and everyone stays, Geoffrey panics he thinks two people will go next week. He probably right.

At The Tents: Victoria, Brittany, Sergio and …MarquiseNancyGeoffrey. I haven’t quite figured the fourth spot.

Next week: the avant-garde challenge inspired by the Vessel in New York City. It could get ugly, or it could be amazing.

What did YOU think?