I Didn't Say It ...

Tina Turner, legend, on her retirement:

“I don’t sing. I don’t dance. I don’t dress up. I was just tired of singing and making everybody happy. That’s all I’d ever done in my life.”

And we thank you.

Now you do you and just be happy.

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_____, to GOP House lawmakers at a retreat in Baltimore, on why he’s orange:

“The light bulb. People said what’s with the light bulb. I said here’s the story, and I looked at it. The bulb that we’re being forced to use. Number one, to me, most importantly, the light’s no good. I always look orange. And so do you. The light is the worst.”

And now we know … there is not one single mother**king lie he won’t tell.

Oh, and at the same event, he also once again blasted wind energy—which previously said causes cancer—and claimed that the Democratic debates would go off the air if the wind stopped blowing.

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Graham Norton, British talk show host, on Boris Johnson:

“In a sweet way, it’s as if the United Kingdom was embarrassed for America, felt like you’re all alone out in the world stage so we found our own angry Cabbage Patch Kid and made him the leader. I wouldn’t trust him to water my plants when I was away but somehow, he is the prime minister.”

Boris is a little _____ Jr, though I imagine Donnie Jr wouldn’t like that much.

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Jonnie Reinhart, drag queen, dragging Aaron Schock, disgraced Republican congressman, former self-loathing gay man, and now out and proud gay bar patron and disco boy lover:

“I’m not a confrontational person. And immediately my heart started racing, and I was like, ‘Okay, what am I gonna do?’ I know a lot of people would’ve loved me to just kick him out, or throw a drink at him, or call him out on the mic or just do something really big. But I decided to share a message through song, and I went on stage and I announced, ‘This song goes out to somebody who’s in the audience and it goes out to anybody who votes against gay rights. And I sang ‘F**k You‘ by Lily Allen which was not a very subtle message.”

Schock should get a big fuck you from every member of the LGBTQ community until, and perhaps even after, he actually comes out, instead of posing with go-go boys in bars and hanging around drag shows.

Asshat.

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Jerry Falwell Jr, fuming about staff forwarding emails he sent that disparage Liberty University students, staff, and parents to other administrators, and how he’ll fight it:

“I’m not going to dignify the lies that were reported yesterday with a response [but] Liberty owns every single one of those emails. It’s our property. They were working for us when they used our server. Our policies make it clear every email sent on our server is owned by Liberty, and if anybody shares it with anybody outside Liberty, it is theft. And so that’s the underlying crime.”

Methinks this pandering hypocritical f**k protests too much, and I don’t think law enforcement, much less the FBI, will take even a moment to look into this ridiculousness.

You’re going down, Jerry, and you’re probably love it.

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Kevin McCarthy, House Minority Leader and _____’s lapdog, on the everyone from the Air Force to Michael Elizabeth Pence and Mother staying at _____ hotels:

"The President's resorts are hotels that he owns, that people are traveling. It's just like any other hotel ... I don't know that that's different than anything else. Is it different than if I go and stay or eat at a Marriott here or eat at the _____?"

Yes, you asshat, because the current Occupant of the White House is making money off of it, with our tax dollars going into his pockets.

The man who doesn’t pay taxes is living off of mine, and yours.

Fuck off, traitor.

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