I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Adam Levine is leaving The Voice because he’s a pissy little loser.

There, I said it.

And despite Voice host Carson Daly trying to spin it any other way, it’s because of changes made in the show structure and how his whole team was eliminated before the finals.

Hence, pissy little loser.

The Voice introduced Live Cross Battles as a new competition feature and Adam ALLEGEDLY couldn’t handle it. In this new round, two coaches go head to head in a live song ‘battle’ by each selecting one artist from their team to go up against another team’s artist, with the singer’s decided by a viewer vote.

And so, being knocked out of the competition, Adam was forced to sit and pout while the other judge’s teams perform. And since he had no team, he let NBC know that he didn’t think he needed to be at that taping, but showed up nonetheless and was ALLEGEDLY so difficult that he wouldn’t even offer commentary on the other judges’ performers . it was all too much for the Pissy Tattooed Man and he took his ego and went home.

Bye Felicia. And goodbye to that $26 million a year you get from NBC.

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Nothing like a He Said, She Said that boils down to He having to apologize.

As is the case with singer Moby, who has had to apologize claiming in his recent memoir that he dated Natalie Portman after Portman called him out on the lie.

In his book Then It Fell Apart, Moby said he met Portman at one of his concerts when he was 33 and she was 20; he claims Portman flirted with him in his dressing room and a relationship later blossomed.

Portman, however, sees it differently; for one thing, she says she was 18 and he was a creepy 33-year-old man hitting on her:

“I was surprised to hear that he characterized the very short time that I knew him as dating because my recollection is a much older man being creepy with me when I just had graduated high school.”

At first Moby pushed back at Portman’s denial and even posted a shirtless photo of himself with his arm around her as proof, but days later, with the whole world laughing at the idea Mobman … Motalie … Portby … he backed down posted an apology.

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Kanye West is back and he’s still talking and still talking like a fool. He recently spoke with David Letterman for his Netflix series, My Next Guest Needs No Introduction With David Letterman, and talked about everything from _____ to creating his own church … or, because he’s really a Kardastrophe, it’s be Khurch … to living in a world where children can “float”.

Isn’t that the premise behind It? But I digress … after talking about all sorts of things, Kanye tells Letterman there is one thing of which he cannot speak: Drake.

See, Drake and Kanye have had social media snit fist with one another for a very long time.

Drake rapped that Kanye “flopped”. Kanye ALLEGEDLY leaked the story that Drake had a secret love child. Drake then ALLEGEDLY threatened Kanye. Kanye dragged Drake for wanting to sample a song. People say Drake said he once banged Kim Kardastrophe … and except for me, who hasn’t?

It’s all very high school girl you stole my boyfriend petty. But then Drake played the last card: he had a lawyer send Kanye a cease-and-desist letter.

Well, then, a big round of applause for Drake because he has educated us all that to shut Kanye up, just get a lawyer and send him a letter.

Now, if we could get Drake to pipe down …

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Could it be that Miranda Lambert has already burned through another husband? It looks like it …

According to sources—most likely a Nashville bartender—Lambert and her longtime husband of almost five months, Brendan McLoughlin, aren’t all newlyweds in love.

Now, it could be because the couple rarely spends any time together since Brendan is a cop in New York and Miranda does something in Nashville, and so they live “completely different lives.”

Or could it be that Miranda realized she rushed into this marriage, hot on the heels of her busting up the marriage between  Evan and Staci Felker before she dumped him?

Or is it because Miranda rushed to the altar after word spread that ex-husband Blake Shelton was close to getting married to Gwen Stefani, and so she quickly married her boyfriend of three months to beat them to the altar and now she’s all “that was dumb”.

Or maybe it’s that Miranda, who apparently wants a baby something awful, never thought that a long-distance marriage would impede getting pregnant. Does UPS ship sperm?

Whatever the reason, Miranda is now moving out of their $2 million apartment in New York and has told friends that marrying Brendan was the “biggest mistake” of her life.

And Miranda should know from mistakes; she makes them all the time. But this one may cost her a penny because rumor has it that there was no prenup.

Uh.Oh.

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