I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

The one good thing about Dina Lohan getting Catfish’d on national TV by longtime, unseen boyfriend-cum-fiancé, Jesse Nadler, is that it’s brought the Lohan’s back together. Dina’s first ex-husband, Michael, spoke out in support of Dina and her new man, and now Lindsay is speaking … because she knows a hot mess and a publicity op when she sees one.

Lindsay took to Instagram to congratulate Dina for her “performance” on Celebrity Big Brother—even though she lost to “celebrity” Tamar Braxton—but then Lindsay took on CBS for the way they treated Dina during the show … and then suddenly deleted the post; perhaps she’s looking to be the next houseguest on that idiotic show? Luckily, the internet lives on when people post and repost and share, so here goes …

“Finally #family @alianalohan #free @cbs_bigbrother you suck and get no Valentine’s from @lohanbeachclub @mtv. My mother is an AMAZING woman and she did so well. The secrets she told me a few hours ago are going to #EXPOSE #YOUALL #dinalohan #dfwm.”

Is she trying to support her mother, or her Vanderpump Rules knockoff show on MTV that is used mainly as a test pattern during the network’s off hours? I mean, the only thing Lindsay Lohan has ever exposed are her titties, her “firecrotch”, and her penchant for jewel theft, driving drunk, and bar fights.

Take a seat, Lohan, under the bar where you belong.

PS That’s an old photo of the Lohan’s, but since they will always be hot messes, I thought I’d resurrect it.

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Last week we learned that an unnamed male friend of Miranda Lambert’s got into a shouting match in a restaurant bathroom which caused Miranda to toss a salad, literally, not figuratively, on an unsuspecting woman. And this week we learned that the unnamed man is none other than Miranda’s next ex-husband, and self-professed ‘hot cop’, Brendan McLoughlin, whom she married on the fly in January.

This is all nothing new for Miranda because, remember, in February 2018, Miranda dumped Anderson East, her Blake Shelton jump-off, after several years together. Not bad, but this is also the month she began touring with Evan Felker. In April, Miranda and the married Evan Felker, profess their love for one another and Miranda ALLEGEDLY begins stalking Evan’s not-yet-ex-wife Staci on social media.

In August, Miranda and Evan seem to be drifting apart because Evan is friendly with the wife he left to get with Miranda, and just as the Felker’s divorce comes though, Miranda dumps Even because he “broke her rules.” Rules about staying friends with your ex? After a dry spell of about eight weeks, Miranda meets and falls in love with Officer Brendan McLoughlin, who has his own baggage because … in November Officer Brendan McLoughlin becomes a first-time father … with a woman he cheated on his fiancé with, while the fiancé was out of town.

Let’s get this queer … shortly after dumping Evan, Miranda met, hooked up with, and fell in love with daddy-to-be Brendan McLoughlin who left his Baby Mama, and his fiancé for Lambert.

It seriously seems that Miranda Lambert has never seen a home she didn’t want to wreck and didn’t fall for guys who were in the same frame of mind.

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You’d almost feel sorry for Khloe Kardastrophe if you hadn’t seen this coming a thousand miles away, but …

Khloe’s baby daddy, basketballer Tristan Thompson, who cheated on his pregnant girlfriend with Khloe, and then dumped that girl for Khloe, got her pregnant and then cheated on her while she was pregnant, has ALLEGEDLY been dribbling his balls on the court belonging to Jordyn Woods, not only a former model for Khloe’s clothing line, but also a BFF of sister Kylie.

Seriously, you can’t write this shiz up, but you know That Woman is looking for a way to film it for E! before Miranda and Brendan sell their story to Lifetime.

And that was the straw that ended their relationship; not that Khloe knew Tristan was a cheater when she met him, because he was cheating on his pregnant girlfriend with her, and not because he cheated on pregnant Khloe, but because he cheated with a friend of Kylie’s and, what amounts to, one of Khloe’s employees.

Set the cameras up for A Very Special Episode of Keeping Up With the Kardastrophes, where Khloe learns what the rest of the world knew a few years ago … Tristan cheats.

As for Jordyn Woods … apparently, none of the Kardastrophe-Jenner’s are following her on social media anymore; the ultimate burn.

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Remember when we talked about the doctor suing Gwyneth Paltrow for snowplowing into him on the ski slopes?

Well, she is outraged! Outraged, I tells ya, and she is counter-suing Dr. Terry Sanderson, claiming he skied into her and she should know because she basically invented skiing just before she invented yoga. And she wants coins in retribution … four quarters, or ten dimes, or twenty nickels or one hundred pennies …or just a crisp dollar bill. Yes, Gwynnie wants a dollar, y’all.

In the suit, Gwyneth claims that on the day in question—three years ago—she was, in fact, skiing at the Deer Valley Resort in Utah and was “on one of the easier runs … making ‘short turns’” when the incident occurred. Gwyneth has the resort’s incident report which states Sanderson “took her out from behind” which I hear is how she likes it, but that’s another post for another day. She claims Sanderson says in the report that “she appeared right in front of him, thus admitting he was the uphill skier.”

Sanderson maintains Gwyneth was out of control and hit him from behind, which might be how he likes it, and says he suffered several injuries.

Gwyneth claims that Sanderson told the ski patrol at the time that everything was fine, but now he wants $3 million plus a slew of damages; and she’s only asking for a dollar because she’s never actually seen such a small denomination and she wants it lacquered to a jade egg she can hold in her vagina while she chants.

Or something.

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