It's Snarkurday!

Oh, the Racism Valet stories continue to happen, and not just to black people in parks, or stores, or Starbucks, but to celebrities at their own homes.

Apparently Ving Rhames was minding his own business, entering his own home, when one of his white neighbors saw him and called the police.

Seriously. Rhames had arrived at his home, earlier this year, and heard a knock at the door and, well, he’ll tell you:

“I open the door and there is a red dot pointed at my face from a 9-mm, and they say, ‘Put up your hands.’ Literally.”

He was removed from his own home and taken outside where the situation could have gotten worse but for the fact that one police officer recognized him … not as an actor, but as a parent with a son who played basketball at Rhame’s son’s rival high school. And that’s what scared Rhames most of all:

“What if it was my son and he had a video game remote or something, and you thought it was a gun. Just like, I don’t know, Trayvon had a bag of Skittles.”

According to police, one of Rhames’ neighbors called 911 to report a “large black man” breaking into the actor’s home, except the large black man owned the mother**king home; and when police escorted Rhames to the neighbor’s house to clear things up, she denied even placing the call.

Bitch, please. Someone could have been hurt, or worse, because this woman saw a scary black man, once again, going into his own home!

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Rumor has it that Britney Spears and her boyfriend Sam Asghari are about to get hitched, making him the third Mr. Spears …after KFed and that drunk guy she married in Vegas for two days before having it annulled.

‘I don’t really care about this story other than I get to post a picture of Sam Asghari.

Yum.

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No good can come of this, but apparently one Tiffany _____, the daughter the president never mentions, has a new BFF in one jailbird named Lindsay Lohan.

The two were spotted in Mykonos together where Lohan was helping Tiffany fix her ponytail.

Of course, Lohan apparently has a new reality show for MTV about the “club” she opened in Mykonos, so maybe Tiffany, the aspiring pop star or Georgetown law student, depending on who you ask, was making a guest appearance.

Hot messes.

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Speaking of that family, and I don’t mean the Lohan’s, I mean the other one, rumor has it that Junior’s new side-piece, Kimberly Guilfoyle was let go from her “position” at Fox News for being a terrorist.

Now, Kimberly’s team is trying to make it seem like she left because she wanted to campaign with the _____’s, but a source said she didn’t leave Fox News on her own. The network reportedly launched a year-long investigation into what Kimberly was up to and found that she had a habit of showing dick pics—wait, does she have a dick?—to her co-workers, talked about her sex life with Oil Slick Jr. and emotionally abused the hair and makeup people … which may explain her appearance.

Wow, she sounds like a perfect _____. Except she’s a dick pic’er, not a pussy groper.

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So, the Countess Drunkess Luann de Lesseps will serve absolutely no jail time for having sex in the wrong hotel room, being a belligerent drunk in public, assaulting a police officer, threatening to murder a police officer and for recording Money Can’t Buy You Class … a “song” that was accused of murdering the ear drums of countless people around the globe.

She got the “Lohan Treatment” and was and sentenced to probation and a few hours of community service in which she will search the internet for all signs of her music and have it scrubbed. Before all that could be accomplished, though, Luann checked herself back into rehab because Money Can Buy You Vodka.

Y’all remember that Skinny Girl Frankel released a statement on Luann’s return to treatment, but apparently, she spoke to soon, because after just a few weeks, Luann has released herself and left rehab. She will return to the cabaret circuit and continue her one-woman show where she destroys the hearing of entire audiences and seek treatment on an out-patient basis …as in the patient is out in a bar.

Just sayin’.

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Oh, the horror! Another rich white person wants y’all to know that being rich and white and on Fox News is hurting their lives.

First, we had Alan Dershowitz claiming that being shunned at Martha’s Vineyard parties because he wrote a book about not impeaching _____ was akin to McCarthyism and a major civil rights issue, but now one Melissa Francis, an on-air “talent” for Fox Business, has stepped forward to tell her tale of woe.

Francis blonde and interviews Republicans, so it’s hard to figure out which one she is on Fox, but she is a proud _____-supporting fool and sis now suffering the consequences.

Francis recently took to Twitter to accuse her local country club of shunning her family, suggesting she was targeted because of her political views. Francis claims that even though she’s a member of Siwanoy, a posh Bronxville, New York establishment, she can’t get a table there for dinner:

“We are member of Siwanoy Bronxville but somehow, they can’t fit us in for dinner. Repeatedly. I’m sure it’s a coincidence and not something more. Right?”

Francis concluded with several hashtags:

“#Never_____ers #cnn #HillaryForever?”

I don’t get the CNN hashtag, or the Hillary Forever one, but, yeah, Never _____ers? Serves you right. Maybe she and Colonel Sarah Huckleberry Sanders can head down to the Chic-fil-A and share a basket of wings?

Seriously, Ving Rhames is getting the police called on him because he’s black and owns a home and this privileged whit b*tch is complaining because she can’t get a table at her country club?

Take a seat you entitled cow.

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