I Didn't Say It ...

Lena Dunham, recounting a trip to Planned Parenthood and how one woman asked her to share her experience with abortion:

“I sort of jumped. ‘I haven’t had an abortion,’ I told her. I wanted to make it really clear to her that, as much as I was going out and fighting for other women’s options, I myself had never had an abortion. And I realized then that even I was carrying within myself stigma around this issue. Even I, the woman who cares as much as anybody about a woman’s right to choose, felt that it was important that people know that I was unblemished in this department. Now I can say that I still haven’t had an abortion, but I wish I had.”

Um, Lena, abortion isn’t an easy decision for any woman to make, hence the great divide over the issue, but for you to suggest you feel bad because you never had that choice to make is the height of stupidity and downplays the struggle every woman goes through when, or if, they make that choice.

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Michael Hayden, former head of the Central Intelligence Agency and the National Security Agency, on calling _____ Russia’s “useful idiot”:

“Since I wrote that five weeks ago, the [_____] campaign has still refused to utter any criticism of Vladimir Putin, and then reject[ed] the high confidence judgment of a pretty good intelligence community. So, if anything, that’s been reinforced.  I’m trying to be both respectful and understanding here, but my ‘polezni durak’ — useful fool, useful idiot — description, as I said at the end of my article, is actually the most benign explanation I can come up with.”

I prefer to think of _____ as Putin's bitch, because you know that's how Putin feels.

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Van Jones, on Donald ____ not condemning Russia’s interference in the election:

“This is baffling to anybody with a functioning brain stem. We have to be honest about this. Yes, other presidents tried to say nice things about the Russians … not in the face of an active attack on the country. Cyber war is real war, so you have an active attack on our country, and you have the president-elect who cannot find it in himself to say ‘this is wrong, and it needs to stop.' Listen. He can respond personally to an attack. He can respond as a partisan to an attack. But he can’t respond as a patriot to an attack? This is an attack on our country. I just think that everyone is sitting here trying to pretend that this is normal. This is not normal. This is dangerous.”

He’ll never say anything bad about Russia lest Putin take away the presidency.

Yeah, it’s true.

PS Van Jones is hot ... and smart ... and hot.

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President-elect _____ on the terrorist attack at the market in Germany and Muslims:

“Hey, you’ve known my plans all along and it’s, they’ve proven to be right. 100 percent correct. What’s happening is disgraceful.”

Yup, he sounds ready to start a Muslim registry and I am ready to sign it.

I am Muslim.

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Seth Meyers, on _____’s presidency and its effect on climate change:

“Obviously his statements on climate change have not been promising, like his infamous claim that ‘the concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese…,’ as opposed to Trump who was created by and for Russians.”

Snap.

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