I Didn't Say It ...

David Letterman, the King of Late Night TV, on Jeb Bush’s opposition to same-sex marriage:

"Well, like it or not, the presidential campaign has already begun. Jeb Bush. Jeb Bush came out against same-sex marriage. Jeb Bush. Brother of the former president, son of the former, former president came out against same sex marriage. Also came out in favor of the Iraq War. He certainly is a different kind of Republican, isn't he? Jeb says, Jeb says that if you let gay people get married – this is Jeb Bush now talking – he says if you let gay people get married, next thing you know, women are going to want to vote."

Goin’ out on top!

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Ger Brennan, Gaelic footballer, on why he's voting "No" in Ireland’s upcoming marriage referendum:

"I very nearly decided not to write this piece. I know I'll be targeted for it and labeled for it. It would have been easier to keep my mouth shut and not rock the boat. But I'm sick of the accusations being flung around that if you vote 'No' you are homophobic. I know I'm not homophobic; my gay friends and family can attest to that. I am voting "No" because I don't want our Constitution to deny that it is a good thing for a child to have a mother and a father."

So, um, Ger? Are your gay ‘friends’ happy that you think they’re less than? And are you planning on voting to make divorce illegal? Planning on making it illegal for people who don’t want, or can’t have, children, to get married?

Are you planning on removing children from all single parent homes?

Your arguments are idiotic, and your stance is homophobic.
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Ted Cruz, hate-mongering, fear-spreading, lying:

“We are seeing today profound threats to religious liberty in America, I think the greatest threats we’ve ever seen. We’re a nation that was founded by men and women who were fleeing religious oppression and coming to seek out a land where everyone of us could worship God Almighty with all of our hearts, minds and souls, and that is under profound jeopardy today.”

Yes, we fled religious persecution and now you, and your ilk, are trying to use your religion to repress The Gays.
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Melissa Rivers, on Kathy Griffin’s joining, the leaving, Fashion Police:

“I’m just going to say it wasn’t a match on a lot of levels. My biggest complaint was the feeling that she kind of sh*t all over my mother’s legacy in her statement on leaving. I know that that was not an intentional reading of it, but that’s how I felt … by calling the comedy and the style of it old fashioned. It’s like, I understand what you’re doing, you’re trying to save yourself, but don’t crap all over my mother to do it. And that’s how I felt and that was very personal, but as a professional that was her choice, that’s what she did, no harm no foul, it didn’t work, moving on.”

I love Kathy, but Kathy had no business trying to take over for Joan.

She is not now, nor will she ever be, Joan Rivers.
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Rush Limbaugh, on the news that the number of Christina’s is declining:

“They have left their churches because of social issues and the evolution of their churches to social areas they didn't want to go and don't feel comfortable being in. If you look at the evangelical churches, they haven’t lost anything. Their membership is holding pretty steady. Where the message has remained, where the mission has remained the same, where the members of the church don’t think any corruption is taking place. They're still hanging in there.”

Actually, Rush, the Pew study shows that membership is down in all branches of religion, save Judaism, Islam and Buddhism.

And the people aren’t leaving because the churches changed; they’re leaving because the churches won’t change.
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