Mark Sanford Is Truly Ridiculous

In the interests of openness and honesty let me say that, while I love-love-love the title of this post, it’s actually the exact title of an article from the Washington Post that details the complete and utter delusions of South Carolina’s globe-trotting, trail-hiking, booty-calling ex-governor,. Marky Mark Sanford.

A little history:

• Sanford called himself a fiscal conservative then billed the state of South Carolina for first class airline tickets—some used to fly him to the afore-mentioned booty calls—for his travel arrangements.
• Sanford disappeared from the state, advising his staff to tell his employers, AKA the people of South Carolina, that he was hiking the Appalachian Trail, when he was later5 discovered to have flown to South America for a conjugal visit with his mistress.
• Sanford, in his divorce decree  from his wife, Jenny, who didn’t take kindly to his booty-calling adventures, was ordered to stay away from Jenny Sanford’s home, but then was discovered walking in the house, using his phone as a flashlight. His excuse was that he wanted to watch football with his son, but then why was he walking around in the dark? And where was the mistress-soul mate? Sanford will answer charges of trespassing next month.

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But the latest height of stupidity, of arrogance, of delusional asshattery on Marky Mark is the full-page ad he recently took out in the Charleston Post and Courier newspaper. The ad, which came out last week on the heels of the Boston Marathon bombings, where four people died and nearly two-hundred were injured, and just after the explosion of a Texas fertilizer plant that killed thirteen people and injured hundreds more, told the people of South Carolina what a bad week “he’d” had. You know, because of the trespassing charge and all. What a bad week for a truly ridiculous man who apparently has no empathy for the people of Boston or the people of West, Texas.

Sanford explains that he broke the law, and violated a divorce decree “because, as a father, I didn’t think [his 14-year-old son] should sit alone and watch [the Super Bowl].” He then explains that there “are always two sides to every story, and time will tell as to whether I made the right call in that instance as a father.”

You didn’t, Marky, as usual you did what was the best thing for you and basically, once again, gave a big F-U to everyone else.

Now, it would be lovely for a father to want to spend time with his sons, and nice that he acknowledges that, but this is the same father who skipped out on celebrating Father’s Day with his boys back in 2009 because he went to Buenos Aires to schtup the mistress. This is the same father who thought it appropriate to introduce his sons to his mistress, now fiancée, Maria Belen Chapur, for the very first time on-stage in front of an entire audience at the runoff election victory party earlier this month.

Yes, he’s been, um, “dating” this woman for years, left his wife for this woman a few years ago, but didn’t introduce his sons to her until three weeks ago at an election event. Perhaps it was best he missed Father’s Day because he has no idea what that even means.

But, back to his full-page, Feel-sorry-for-me-I’ve-had-a-bad week ad, Sanford whined about what’s happened to him—like the fact that the National Republican Congressional Committee has publicly come out and said they no longer support him—and beg for money: “I’d like to take all I have learned and apply it to fixing things, but I’m outgunned, outmanned, and outspent by the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee [DCCC] and Nancy Pelosi’s PAC.”

Truly ridiculous, that man is, but what might be more truly ridiculous is the fact that he might win the election if the people of South Carolina don’t remember that while he was f**king his mistress, he was also f**king the state.

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