If Roger Gorley Was Legally Married To Allen Mansell I Wouldn't Be Posting This

This is one of those he said/he said, she said/he said, he said/they said, they said/they said stories, so, well, now I’ll have my say. But, I’ll start at the beginning, with a little background, before the story actually gets started.

Allen Mansell suffers from severe depression and, twice monthly, undergoes electro-shock treatment [ECT] at Research Medical Center in Kansas City because his medications no longer allow him to function normally. His partner, Roger Gorley—the couple had a civil union ceremony five years ago and have given each other power of attorney, especially in medical instances—says Allen specifically excluded his biological family from having any say over his medical decisions because they have not been understanding of the impact of his depression, and are not supportive of his relationship with Roger.

One day last week, Roger’s daughter, Amanda Brown, was taking care of Allen while her father was at work. They had gone out to run some errands, and when they returned home they found Allen’s brother Lee and sister Pat were waiting at the door with paramedics and police.

Allen was said to have appeared sluggish, so police determined that he was a “danger to himself” and decided to take him to the hospital against his will. But they didn’t take him to St. Luke’s Hospital in Lee’s Summit, the local hospital where his regular doctors are, and instead took him to the Research Medical Center in Kansas City, which he only goes to for his ECT. 

Amanda tried explaining  Allen's medical needs and procedures, but no one was listening, so she she called her father, Roger, and urged him to get to St. Luke’s immediately, and when he arrived, Lee was also there. Lee stated that he would not allow Roger to make any medical decisions for Allen and that he would do so instead. Naturally this infuriated Roger, who reportedly shouted, “No you won’t! This is my husband.  I know what he wants and needs. You are never around.  You need to leave.”

A shouting match ensued between the two men in a case of what Carlos calls ¿Quién es más macho? A nurse entered the room and told Roger Gorley he would have to leave because of his agitated state, and when he explained that he would be staying with his husband, she reportedly replied, “I know who you two are. You need to leave.”

The nurse refused to acknowledge their legal relationship—and remember, this is the hospital where Roger takes Allen twice a month and they are very well known—she called the police to forcibly remove Roger Gorley from the room.

Allen Mansell, in and out of consciousness, reportedly objected to Gorley’s removal, saying, “I want him here.”

When officers from the Kansas City PD arrived on scene, they ordered Roger to leave, and when he did not comply, they considered this a refusal to cooperate and began to forcibly remove him. One officer began hitting him on his wrists when he wouldn't let go of the gurney. Roger Gorley was wrestled to the ground, his glasses knocked from his face, and his hearing aids out of his ears. One officer held a knee to his back and he was handcuffed.

This part, however gruesome and grotesque, is unsubstantiated, except by Amanda Brown: police assumed because Roger is gay that he must have HIV, and since the struggle had drawn blood, one officer was so disturbed that he insisted on using gloves to handle Roger and refused to even take back his handcuffs.

It took three hours to process Roger at the station and bail him out of jail. According to Amanda’s account, he was also issued a restraining order prohibiting him from stepping foot on the hospital grounds to see his husband.

Long after the scuffle with police, and Roger was taken away, the hospital finally asked Lee to leave as well, at Allen’s request.

Roger Gorley, for his part, says the dispute started after Allen's brother Lee called 911 without letting him know in the first place:

"Haul your husband into a hospital without even talking to me about it -- that's like overwriting us as a couple of who we. That would be like me going over to his house and taking his wife and hauling her off to the hospital without talking to him."—Roger Gorley

He also said the nurse refused to confirm that the couple shared power of attorney and made medical decision for each other. he said she wouldn't even take the time to look up the information.

Allen’s brother Lee, for his part, acknowledged that there was a two-sided, heated, exchange in the room that day, because a “nurse had come in the first time and said 'you two need to leave the room,' so we kind of quieted down for a minute. Roger wanted me to leave the room, and I told him 'well, no, you need to leave the room' and the nurses came in the second time and said 'you both need to leave the room.'"

And yet the nurse only called security to have Roger Gorley removed, and it was hospital security who called Kansas City police officers.  It appears that Amanda brown was confused, and that it was hospital security that wrestled her father to the ground because Cpt. Steve Young, a spokesperson for the Kansas City PD, said when officers on the scene Roger was already in handcuffs and bleeding.

Now, we have a family dispute, we have hospital staff involved and the security team on-site as well as local police. Seems like the perfect time for the feds to get involved; and for good reason.

Since 2010, President Barack Obama has ordered hospitals that receive Medicare or Medicaid funding to allow visitation rights for gay and lesbian partners, so after Gorley's removal and arrest, federal officials "are working to gather the facts and determine what steps to take in a speedy manner."

Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services [CMS], which enforces federal regulations, is looking into the matter. CMS spokesman Brian Cook said, "CMS is aware of this specific issue and we are working to gather the facts and determine what steps to take in a speedy manner …. All Americans are guaranteed the right to receive hospital visitors that they designate, and there are specific protections in our rules for same-sex couples across the country. We take alleged violations of federal rules around hospital visitation very seriously."

Those protections for same-sex couples are really quite simple; CMS regulations say:

"When a patient who is not incapacitated, has designated, either orally to hospital staff or in writing, another individual to be his/her representative, the hospital must involve the designated representative in the development and implementation of the patient's plan of care."

And yet the hospital threw that person out of the room against the wishes of the patient. And some, most notably Amanda Brown, are saying it's because Roger and Allen are a gay couple.But the hospital, Research Medical Center, is insisting that it does not discriminate based on sexual orientation and released this statement:

“We believe involving the family is an important part of the patient care process. And, the patient`s needs are always our first priority. When anyone becomes disruptive to providing the necessary patient care, we involve our security team to help calm the situation and to protect our patients and staff. If the situation continues to escalate, we have no choice but to request police assistance.”

When the story went viral last Thursday, Research Medical Center’s Denise Charpentier, VP of Marketing and Public Relations said:

“Research Medical Center was one of the first hospitals in Kansas City to offer domestic partner benefits, which have been in place since 2005, and we have had a policy specifically acknowledging domestic partners’ visitation rights in place for years …. This was an issue of disruptive and belligerent behavior by the visitor that affected patient care.  The hospital’s response followed the same policies that would apply to any individual engaged in this behavior in a patient care setting and was not in any way related to the patient’s or the visitor’s sexual orientation or marital status. This visitor created a barrier for us to care for the patient. Attempts were made to deescalate the situation. Unfortunately, we had no choice but to involve security and the Kansas City MO Police Department.”

This still doesn’t explain why Roger Gorley, and Allen’s brother, Lee, weren’t both removed from the room, if they were both being disruptive. In fact, Rob Dyer of HCA seems to suggest Roger was specifically targeted:

“When the nurse went in to ask them to please quiet down and please stop this and they continued, and every time they stepped out it would get escalated, so she stepped back in and asked them to remove themselves for the sake of the patient at the moment …. He [Gorley] and the patient’s brother were fighting in the patient’s room very loudly, very crassly, inappropriate language.”

Dyer contends that the accusations made by both roger Gorley and his daughter Amanda, that the hospital treated Gorley differently because he is gay are particularly upsetting given the hospital’s record: “We were one of the first to have same sex benefits in the market. We were one of the first to acknowledge same sex partnerships.”

That’s all well and good, and I commend them on that particular action, but that policy does not make it impossible for a nurse, or a hospital security person, to treat Roger Gorley the way they did, simply because of his sexual orientation.

And then, because the story won't die, the hospital released yet another statement which seems to contradict their first account. Rob Dyer claims Gorley was asked to leave because he wouldn’t quiet down, and yet they also claim he was asked to leave because he was asked to show his medical power of attorney for Allen and couldn’t provide it.

So, which is it? Was Roger Gorley being disruptive and belligerent, but Lee wasn’t? Or, was Roger Gorley not carrying, on his person, the proper legal documents he needs to be in the room with his partner since the United States treats same-sex couples as less than?

But, and here’s the rub, Roger didn’t need to provide any proof of his medical power of attorney, or anything else for that matter, if, as his daughter claims, Allen Mansell said, during the altercation, “I want him here.”

Under federal regulations, that's all that's needed, and the argument ends; Roger stays. But, if Amanda is wrong and Allen never said ‘I want him here’ then what happens? Well, federal regulations also states that the partner, Roger, in this case, can simply say “I’m in charge,” and that’s enough unless  someone else asserts that they too are in charge of the patient.

Now, maybe that’s what happened, and maybe Lee tried to assert that he was in charge, but then the hospital throws yet another version of events out there. According to the police report, the hospital told police officers the reason they ejected Roger was because the hospital “did not want to have any visitors to Allen’s room.” There was no mention at all of disruptions or fighting or anything. They simply didn’t want Allen to have visitors.

And yet that completely contradicts Dyer’s claim that Roger was ejected, not because they wanted no visitors, but rather because of the fight.  And, if they didn’t want anyone in the room, then it wouldn’t have mattered if Roger had had a medical power of attorney, so why did they ask for it?  And if they wanted no visitors in the room, then why does daughter Amanda say that they were all permitted to stay in the room—even Lee—after the police took Roger away? 

Here's what i do know: Roger Gorley and Allen Mansell are a couple united under a civil union. They have both filed the necessary paperwork to be granted power of attorney over one another, and the power to make medical decisions for one another. Maybe Roger did get mad that Lee called 911, but he had that right. And maybe he got mad that Lee wanted him out of the room, and he had that right.

But what I find tragic about this whole story--and there are so many sides we may never know what actually happened--is that this whole situation could have been avoided with just two words:

"I do."

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