I Ain't One To Gossip But .....

So, what’s a gal on the go to do when she’s pulled off the amazing feat of being arrested in one state and formally charged in another state, and having the IRS seize your bank accounts, all in the same day?

Lay low? Crawl home to Mama Dina and commiserate over a bowl of blow? Nope, get back out there and start stalking a second-rate musician. I mean, if you’re Lindsay Lohan.

After stalking Max George of The Wanted last week to a club, where Lohan sucker punched a psychic, and subsequently was arrested for the 97^th time, Lindsay made bail and took off after the band instantly.

She travelled, by bus no less, to Philadelphia, like all the other cracked-out groupies, to see her new fave boy-band in concert again at Q102′s Jingle Ball concert. The radio station even Tweeted an “exclusive” photo of the cracktress backstage signing autographs for fans.

Lindsay. Fans. That’s funny.

What isn’t so funny, unless you’re high, is that Lohan took to stealing again; though this time she probably won’t face any charges. It seems that the actress—and I use that term loosely after enduring Liz & Dick—seems to have swiped a sweatshirt from her latest hookup, Max George. She even Tweeted a picture of the hoodie—the sweatshirt, not Max George—directly to the singer, that read, “Missing something?”

She may have stolen the sweatshirt after trolling after Max for a week, and then hanging out with him backstage, and then checking into a hotel with him in Boston, where Max George was at least smart enough to order a full body condom from the hotel gift shop. And he’s talking about Lindsay, in, um, glowing terms: “It’s fun, she’s a good girl. She can party nearly as hard as we can.”

Not exactly a rave review for a drug-and-alcohol addict on probation, eh?

And then Max’s bandmate, Tom Parker, added this about the pass-around-before-she-passes-out girl: “We had one night on the bus, with her and a bunch of our friends, which was a good time.”

I’ve heard tell of a HazMat crew cleaning up that bus after a night of Lohan.

And, on the heels of ruining the bio-pic forever for Lifetime, Lindsay Lohan is also set to ruin Bravo’s Million Dollar Decorators.

Lohan nearly torpedoed her episode of the Bravo “reality” show—after the network gave her $200,000 to spend on renovating her home, because she refused to film the final reveal.

Perhaps she’d forgotten where she lived? Or maybe, she was just a squatter and spent the 3200K on boybands and blow?

Sources—and you know it’s Dina who wanted her momager 40% fee of the $200,000—says

Lindsay agreed to film the segment for the show earlier this year, in exchange for 200K which she would “spend” on decorating. Lohan was initially cooperative—read “comatose”—filming scenes furniture shopping—read: scoring prescription meds off the street—back in March and then filming even more scenes in the home before the renovations.

But, when it came time to shoot the big reveal in April, Lindsay stopped returning their calls. And, while she still lives in the house, it is ALLEGEDLY so filthy—read: drug den messy—that even Bravo has given up the idea of ever filming there.

But, not to waste footage, Bravo has opted to use canned post-renovation footage—without Lohan—for the big reveal moment.

Yes, Lindsay Lohan was edited out of a Bravo “reality” show.

Now that’s real life.

Speaking of real life and Original Recipe Lohan™, the judge formally revoked her probation, though there will be yet another hearing to decide what happens next.

I vote jail time. Long jail time.’

Lindsay—who wasn’t present because she has more important things to do, like blowing a boyband on a tour bus—was arraigned last week on the charge that she lied to police and drove recklessly when she crashed her Porsche on Pacific Coast Highway last June. The judge who arraigned her—Commissioner Jane Godfrey—scheduled a hearing for January 15th on the probation violation, and if she decides Lindsay did violate her probation, Lindsay could face 245 days in prison.

But, sad to say, this particular Commissioner is not big on jail time, she’s more of the counseling type; and we all know how well counseling goes for Lohan—the last time she had court-ordered counseling she refused to show up until a  judge threatened jail time.

So, we’ll have to wait until after Christmas to see if Lindsay will be starring in the LA County Correctional Facility production of Les Miz, or running from a drug counselor because she’s holding.

Now on to those wacky Jenners.

Bruce—once an attractive man and Olympian and now a not so attractive woman—and Kris—the mother who p[imps her children’s porn tapes to make some dough—are rumored to be on the rocks.

Last month, The Enquirer reported that Bruce was seeing a divorce lawyer—although that could be to divorce his plastic surgeon, although that’s a wee bit too late—and is said to be taking stock of the family empire and discussing custody of his two youngest daughters, Kylie and Kendall.

Given how insufferable Kris is, and how she bragged during her book tour about cheating on her first husband, I can see Bruce having had enough. I’d say you could read it on his face, but even he doesn’t have his face anymore; I think his original face is in a jar of formaldehyde on the shelf of a plastic surgery outlet store in the DR.

Now, after The Enquirer, broke the story, Star Magazine is claiming that Bruce is moving out of the family manse and plans to take Kylie and Kendall with him. I guess he’s finally taking a stand over the fact that his daughters are being pushed into show business like their older sisters.

Kris, though, has a different story, because, you know, she had all those kids so she could put them to work and lay around all day, cheating on her husband’s and getting drunk; she says, “Everything is great, we feel very blessed as a family.”

Uh huh. Meanwhile, Bruce isn’t home and the two youngest paychecks are said to be leaving with him because, a source—and you know it’s Khloe—says, “Kylie and Kendall broke down crying to Bruce because Kris has been putting their burgeoning careers ahead of their childhood.”

Hey, Mama’s gotta eat, right?

Luckily, not one punch was thrown this time.

It seems that Chris Brown has dumper Rihanna, and didn’t even need to use his fists. All he did was invite his ex-girlfriend—the one he dumped so he could hook back up with RiRi—to Paris to finish the rest of his tour with him.

Unfortunately, Rihanna found out, and Tweeted, then deleted, the following: “Goodbye muthaf–ker. You give, you get, then you give it the f–k back. Examine what you tolerate.”

Yes, everyone take a minute to examine whether tolerating a dude who beat you and left you for dead for looking at his phone is a good or a bad thing. But maybe still have sex with him again and publicly flaunt it for a while just in case. You don’t want to make a hasty decision here that will probably save your life.

Just sayin’.