The Height of GOP Stupidty, Part Ten: Lyin' Paul Ryan

Paul Ryan, this week's GOP Golden Boy, whose ALLEGED charisma is all the republicans care about, pledged in his convention speech that he and Mittsy would usher in an ethic of responsibility.

That was his first lie.

He replayed a lie he's been spreading ever since Mittsy tapped him to be Veep. He said, again, that Barack Obama, while campaigning for president, promised that a GM plant in Wisconsin would not shut down. Ryan said, in his speech, "That plant didn’t last another year. It is locked up and empty to this day. And that’s how it is in so many towns today, where the recovery that was promised is nowhere in sight."

Except...candidate Obama never promised that. And, while the plant did close down, and remains closed to this day, it was shut down in December 2008, a full month before Obama became President. So, Paul Ryan blatantly lied.

Remember that, he blatantly lied.

But this is nothing new from a campaign that doesn't believe in the facts. In fact, Romney pollster Neil Newhouse blatantly said, "We're not going to let our campaign be dictated by fact-checkers."

Yup, Romney/Ryan will not rely on facts this election cycle. But, let's forget Mittsy for a moment and return to Paul Lyin'.

Paul Ryan slammed Obama for not supporting a deficit commission report; Paul Ryan, himself, voted against that same report. He failed to mention that.

Paul Ryan claims Obama "funneled" $716 billion out of Medicare to pay for Obamacare; Paul Ryan failed to mention that his own budget plan relies on those very same savings.

Paul Ryan laid blame for Standard & Poor's downgrade of U.S. government debt at President Obama's feet; Paul Ryan failed to mention that S&P--in explaining its downgrade--referred to the debt ceiling standoff. The process of raising the debt ceiling was politicized in the last Congress, driven by House Republicans, led by Paul Ryan.

Now, I am a democrat, a quite Liberal, left-leaning Democrat, so I am not at all surprised that Paul Ryan is an outright liar. But someone else is confused about Ryan's inability to distinguish the truth from fiction, and that person, Sally Kohn, is a Fox News columnist.

Yes, Sally Kohn said that Paul Ryan's speech "was an apparent attempt to set the world record for the greatest number of blatant lies and misrepresentations slipped into a single political speech....On this measure, while it was Romney who ran the Olympics, Ryan earned the gold."

To be fair, Sally Kohn calls herself the "progressive voice on Fox News" but that's neither here nor there. The focus is on the apparent ease with which Paul Ryan mangles the truth. And she broke down his speech into three categories:

He was Dazzling, she says:

"Ryan's primary job was to introduce himself and make himself seem likeable, and he did that well. The personal parts of the speech were very personally delivered, especially the touching parts where Ryan talked about his father and mother and their roles in his life. And at the end of the speech, when Ryan cheered the crowd to its feet, he showed an energy and enthusiasm that’s what voters want in leaders and what Republicans have been desperately lacking in this campaign."

But he was also Deceiving:

"On the other hand, to anyone paying the slightest bit of attention to facts, Ryan’s speech was an apparent attempt to set the world record for the greatest number of blatant lies and misrepresentations slipped into a single political speech. On this measure, while it was Romney who ran the Olympics, Ryan earned the gold.The good news is that the Romney-Ryan campaign has likely created dozens of new jobs among the legions of additional fact checkers that media outlets are rushing to hire to sift through the mountain of cow dung that flowed from Ryan’s mouth. Said fact checkers have already condemned certain arguments that Ryan still irresponsibly repeated.

• Fact: While Ryan tried to pin the downgrade of the United States’ credit rating on spending under President Obama, the credit rating was actually downgraded because Republicans threatened not to raise the debt ceiling.
• Fact: While Ryan blamed President Obama for the shutdown of a GM plant in Janesville, Wisconsin, the plant was actually closed under President George W. Bush. Ryan actually asked for federal spending to save the plant, while Romney has criticized the auto industry bailout that President Obama ultimately enacted to prevent other plants from closing.
• Fact: Though Ryan insisted that President Obama wants to give all the credit for private sector success to government, that isn't what the president said. Period. 
• Fact: Though Paul Ryan accused President Obama of taking $716 billion out of Medicare, the fact is that that amount was savings in Medicare reimbursement rates (which, incidentally, save Medicare recipients out-of-pocket costs, too) and Ryan himself embraced these savings in his budget plan.

Elections should be about competing based on your record in the past and your vision for the future, not competing to see who can get away with the most lies and distortions without voters noticing or bother to care. Both parties should hold themselves to that standard. Republicans should be ashamed that there was even one misrepresentation in Ryan’s speech but sadly, there were many.”

And she ended by calling him Distracting:

“And then there’s what Ryan didn’t talk about.Ryan didn’t mention his extremist stance on banning all abortions with no exception for rape or incest, a stance that is out of touch with 75% of American voters. Ryan didn’t mention his previous plan to hand over Social Security to Wall Street. Ryan didn’t mention his numerous votes to raise spending and balloon the deficit when George W. Bush was president. Ryan didn’t mention how his budget would eviscerate programs that help the poor and raise taxes on 95% of Americans in order to cut taxes for millionaires and billionaires even further and increase—yes, increase—the deficit. These aspects of Ryan’s resume and ideology are sticky to say the least. He would have been wise to tackle them head on and try and explain them away in his first real introduction to voters. But instead of Ryan airing his own dirty laundry, Democrats will get the chance.At the end of his speech, Ryan quoted his dad, who used to say to him, 'Son. You have a choice: You can be part of the problem, or you can be part of the solution.'" 

Ryan may have helped solve some of the likeability problems facing Romney, but ultimately by trying to deceive voters about basic facts and trying to distract voters from his own record, Ryan’s speech caused a much larger problem for himself and his running mate.”

The facts are these:

Paul Ryan has lied about several very important issues, involving jobs, the stimulus, the debt ceiling, his own budget plan.

The facts are also these:

Paul Ryan wants to take away a woman’s right to choose, on any variety of topics, from abortion, to contraception.

The facts are also these:

America cannot afford to have a man like Paul Ryan, no matter how much he seems likable, a heartbeat away from the presidency. Remember, Sarah Palin? Remember how we all wondered what would happen if McCain became President and she was that close to running this country?

It’s the same thing now.

Convention Speech Built On Demonstrably Misleading Assertions

Paul Ryan's RNC Speech 'Was Attempt To Set World Record For Blatant Lies'

Paul Ryan’s Speech in Three Words

PR10EP7: Where The Women Are Women And The Men Are Girls ... But The Women Have Meltdowns And The Men Stay Sane ...Even Gunnar

So, the after effects of last week's Ven Diagram of "How not treat a client" are finally put away and it's time to move on.

To OMG & Taylor, aka Lord & Taylor.

This week the designtestants will be creating a tenth look--a cocktail dress or evening dress--in honor of the PR's tenth season, to go on sale at Lord & Taylor with nine looks by nine other PR designers; everyone from Mondo to Chris March, to Bert to Giordana.

I know. Which one was Giordana? But I digress.

So, since it's a rather simple challenge, let's just rip.....

CHRISTOPHER

I'm beginning to loathe him. Seriously. For a gay man his Cher impersonation was sorely lacking, so that's number one. Number two is that ridiculous shredding, or feathering, or whatever the @&$% you call it, detail that he wants to trademark as his signature detail. Guess what Christopher? I wore shredded jeans in the 80s, so I already trademarked it; and so did every other mo and diva and pseudo-punk back in the day. You aren't new.

And, again, seriously? Another outrageously large scarf? Stop. Just stop.

He notices right away that there are only two gowns in the PR collection, so he’ll make a gown to "stand out." He tells us it will be "the best gown ever" and then tells us he "sounds like a tool."

Yes. I agree on one point. But then he tells us that this time the shredding will be different. See, the first time he shredded an entire gown, and the second time he shredded a skirt, but this time, oh this time, he's shredding a top.

Oh.How.Daring.

His dress is boring. A fleshy pink--he called it ballet pink--shredded top, over a simple flowing stretchy silk long skirt. Yawn. And, I think, not very mass-market. Producing that shredding detail is labor intensive, so how can L&T sell it for less than $300. And why would they sell it when there are better dresses out there.

But Heidi likes it. It's beautiful and elegant. Kors likes that it looks like separates, but also that it looks like a t-shirt and a dress. That can't be good. Guest judge, Bonnie Brooks, the president of the oft-mentioned Lord & Taylor, likes that it looks light, but isn't. Huh? And Nina says that while it was a sophisticated gown, it wouldn't work on many people.

Oh, and they all mentioned that the shredding detail was getting old.

We get it. You shred. But then Christopher gets the win and I'm looking at Carlos and thinking WTF just happened.

Seriously.

FABIO

He's growing on me, both as a designer and a person, though the neck tattoo kinda bothers me. Having been tattooed on numerous occasions, I cannot imagine having someone tattoo my neck. 

Ouch.

But his dress is simple and chic and he's one of the few to actually think about how the dress can be mass-produced and still have a decent profit margin because, you know, L&T needs the dough.

I don't know if it's his Freegan diet of lunching from garbage cans, but Fabio remains completely centered and sane, working away with one goal in mind. For all his ink and fluffy hair he isn't about drama and crazy--which is good since those girls are cornering the market on loony.

He works, and makes a simple dress, with an interesting halter back. Basic black, sure, and kinda boring, but it looks like his design. Urban trashcan, and I mean that it a good way. Really, I do.

Heidi likes his dress, and Kors, although not a fan of the asymmetrical hem thinks Fabio has done it well. He is not a fan, however, of the exposed zipper. Bonnie thought a lot of women, especially Lord & Taylor women, would wear a Fabio, while Nina called it a perfect Little Black Dress with a twist; versatile enough for the office and for a party.

His design should have beaten Christopher’s but I imagine his win last week simply kept him Top Three.

ELENA

I'm beginning to think she's bipolar because one week she's a raging longshoreman with a mouth like, well, mine, and the next week she's weeping uncontrollably. Too bad the soaps are being cut from daytime TVF because she could have had a second career playing crazy in the afternoon.

She doesn’t like the challenge because she doesn't do normal. She isn't commercial, she's avant-garde and haute couture and you can't bring that down to mainstream. Well, tell that to Kors and YSL and Donna Karan and all those other designers that do couture lines but also have commercial clothing as well.

Adapt. Elena. Cry later, adapt now.

She cuts muslin and tells us she has no "f**king idea" what she's doing. She moves her fabric and her scissors and her muslin all around the table; she reminds me of any one of our cats playing with their food like something wonderful will happen if you just kick it around. It doesn't.

And it doesn't get you on top, and Elena never gets on top--though I'm thinking that she's a top in real life. This isn't her thing; she doesn't do simple; she's avant-garde; the judges don't get her.

Yada.Yada.Yada. She says she doesn't dumb down her designs but her constant rants are certainly dumb. Adapt.

Her dress is interesting. Baby doll, as Christopher says, with a harness; Lolita dominatrix? That could work I guess. I thought the skirt looked very stiff and bulky, even though I know Elena likes stiff.

She got one of the top scores and began to weep onstage because she thinks the judges don’t get her, and don’t understand her and no one does what she does and....shaddup already.

Heidi says they've liked her designs, but that she needs to think about each individual challenge and how to work her aesthetic into it. Heidi then tells her the dress is marketable--and I'm sure that hurt a lot to Elena--because of the girly, but hard, silhouette. Nine loved the open back with the harness detail, but felt it was lost on the front, while Kors said this was the first time Elena matched her aesthetic to the client. Bonnie muttered something about it looking French with a fun edge, but I think she was just planning on where to go for lunch.

Elena gets Top Three.

MELISSA

Such a contradiction. Pretty blond girl who likes Goth and has tattoos. I mean, she comes off as Barbie and then you see her in action and she's like Rocky Horror Barbie.

But she stays away from black, mainly because all the other designers are going black because cocktail dresses are always in black, except the one they just saw at L&T.

She picks a bronze brocade fabric and it is going to be bad before it gets good.

She has all kinds of trouble with the fabric, and when Tim tells her that it will show every seam and dart and teardrop, Melissa thinks about using another fabric. But she doesn't want to go Back To Black--Sidenote: I miss Amy Winehouse--and all the colored fabrics are too soft for her to create that standup boat neck detail that will set her dress apart.

So, she'll try it on her model, fit it perfectly, and then change the fabric. only she doesn't change the fabric. Instead, she takes the whole dress apart and cuts it again and sews it again, and, well, this cannot be good.

At the last moment she is running from workroom to sewing room trying to piece together what she thinks will be a hot mess. But it isn't. It's very cool, I think, with the fabric standing up in the front. it's very space-age, Judy Jetson at prom, but it's so not Lord & Taylor. I cannot see Buffy McFinkelstein wearing this to a party at the Goldfarbers penthouse.

Just saying.

But she's Top Four? Four? Yes, the judges like four designers best and only a bottom two. Kors liked that she chose a good fabric--the right fabric for the right dress--and loved the neckline. He was not a fan of her asymmetry, and thought it needed a jingle bell at the end. Nina loved the collar and the color, while Bonnie thought it ingenious, if you just cut off that awful hem.

So Last Minute Melissa gets a Last Minute Top Four.

Who knew!

DMITRY

First off. Love that accent. I always love accent on men. Second off. love clothes he design. Sexy chic clothings.

He is a little safe in his designs. They are always sleek and form-fitting and sexy, with some kind of sewing detail. But, they are sleek and sexy, and simple, and, well, doable for under $300 at the L&T.

But, and I hate to but, Dmitry seems to always do a simple chic dress with some kind of interesting sewing detail on it. It's nice, but like Christopher's shreds and Ven's rose, we've seen it before. I want Dmitry to bust out and go all ball gown-y and fabulous and patterns and frilly.

I mean, he does sleek and sexy really well, but can you imagine a sea of sleek and sexy with interesting seams running down the runway in the tents?

Me neither.

He's safe.

SONJIA

After weeks of being on top, or safe, or winning, last week she fell to the Bottom Three and this week that's all she can think about, and, sadly, all she can talk about. I was hoping Christopher would finally master his Cher impression and go all "Moonstruck" on Sonjia: Snap out of it!

She gets off the line that the guys are more girly than the women, but then all the girls have meltdowns and breakdowns while all the guys--and I include Alicia in this group--simply work and get their jobs done. And then they stand at their tables and watch Melissa scramble to make a dress in five minutes, and watch Elena body-slam her mannequin to the ground, and see Sonjia sink to the floor in tears. So, the girly guys get their work done, and the manly girls have issues? 

Yeah, I don't get it either. And I don’t get how she could try the dress on her model on Day One, but then Day Two not be able to get the girl in it. I mean she was tugging it down from the top and then tugging it up from the bottom, and then she finally asked Elena to help while she sat quietly in a corner--oh, no, she fell to the floor and just wept.

This is what I felt like doing when I saw it. It looked like a dress from an old Carol Burnett Show sketch. The frilly peplum waist--and again, how do I know from a peplum?--and the unfinished hem, and the just plain nothingness to it. I mean, it wasn't bad, but it wasn't a Sonjia.

It was, however, safe.

VEN

Yeah, it's over. One-note and mean, and a little too baldingly pompous.

An origami rose.

Again. In a cocktail dress.

I’d like to see Ven be Origami'd out. Fold him, press him, shape him into a tiny airplane, open a window and let fly.

But Ven does get the Spit-Take Award, for uttering this line whilst I was sipping tea--and therefore causing me to spew it around the room:

"This challenge is not just about me....I'm thinking about the customer."
Sage advice, Ven, but a week too late, no?

And then he Origami's some more. As Gunnar rightly noted, "That's a lot of folding."

And as Sonjia noted, :::eye roll:::

And as Christopher said, "Holiday dress for a thirteen year old."

But as his usual creation--other than last week’s d-I-saster--walks the runway, he says he’ll be Top Three or safe.

Yeah, Top Six. Or actually Seven. Out of nine.

That doesn't bode well.

ALICIA

I'm still a little stunned that a Lesbian is on the PR designing clothes for women that will be sold at Lord & Taylor and not at Lowes & Target.

But then she mentions Chanel and I say, "Lesbian say what?"

And she wants to Chanel, er channel, Chanel, in her dress by doing a dropped waist. She is sure the judges will hate it, but she's a Lesbian and she doesn't care.

Or something.

And she creates a box pleat on her dress. Well, two, actually, one at the crotch and one at the ass. And when she shows them to Tim, on her mannequin, the interior of the pleat is blue. So, um, the model will be spewing blue from her ladybits and her butt?

It seems like a gamble.

Tim thinks it looks like armor, and Alicia will need that to fend off the Barbs of Kors. He said it looked like a field hockey uniform, and all it needed was a Jason Voorhees hockey mask and the model could hatchet her way through the judging panel. He said if it was sporty, it wasn't sporty enough, and if it was dressy, it was dressy enough. it just wasn't enough. Bonnie thought it looked more office than cocktail though she's never been to my work where office is cocktail; Nina thought it too mature and matronly with the Chanel drop-waist and the little collar. it was Thoroughly Modern Mille, without the modern.

But Alicia was safe, which means.....

GUNNAR

Try as I might, every time he speaks it feels like someone is taking a rusted iron back scratcher and running it around on the underside of my skull.

But Gunnar has this one in the bag because he understands the L&T woman; he understands the generational aspect of their client. He can take ideas from two former PR designers and use them to create his own one-of-a-kind--though not so much--look.

He tells us that he loves his fabric "so much it hurts" and he has no idea how prophetic that sounds. But then his head continues to expand as he reminds us that his dress will tie up the "loose ends" of the L&T PR collection.

Loose ends? Was that a dig at Christopher’s shredded feathered dress? No, that came later with a not-so-subtle eye-roll.

Another eye-roll appeared when Tim saw Gunnar trying to put lace and sequins all over his dress and turn it into something Matador. Gunnar wonders why everything he does goes Matador and I think it's less about fashion and more about a certain wet dream he had as a young queerling.

As Dmitry rightly says, "Most of Gunnar's dresses look purrrr-ritty bad."

And it wasn't bad, though I thought it looked like a dress Laure Bennett had designed on a previous PR season. And, apparently, I wasn’t the only one.

Nina called it nice, but expected. She'd seen it before, and Kors said, You have seen it before. it's on sale at Lord & Taylor now! He also dubbed it the dreaded Mother of the Bride. Bonnie thought the lace was old and stupid and stiff--well, she might have just said stiff, those other words are mine. Heidi gave it a Pretty good job.

Ouch.

So Gunnar was Auf'd and the champagne flowed at Casa Bob y Carlos and....

Oh.No.You.Di'in't.

Gunnar gets saved too? Heidi says all the designers met the challenge and yet just moments before they were saying it dress was nothing special. WTF just happened. I uncorked the bubbly for this?

MY TAKE

I was pissed. But then I saw the previews for next week and it's a team challenge. Now, knowing that the challenges are planned out before the season even starts shooting, and remembering that in one week we lost the old lady and the Asian guy and someone else, well, they needed to keep everyone last night to make three teams of three for next week.

So, this wasn't about all nine designers doing good work, this was about keeping the teams even for next week.

I feel cheated.

I wanted Gunnar gone. Especially after all his niceness on the runway whole his dress was skewered: Point taken. Thanks for the feedback. I understand. oh really.

And then he walks backstage and is so distraught he cannot even speak, except that he does speak and tells us he has no idea why he was almost Auf'd.

Um, Gunnar? Your dress has been done v=before and better.

That's why.

I think a muffin basket to the old lady and the Asian guy is in order, because their scampering off the show saved your ass.

But what did YOU think?

I Didn't Say It ....

Dax Shepard, Kristen Bell's fiance, on marriage equality:

"We're not going to have a party when half of our friends ... can't do that thing we're doing. We're not going to ask them to come celebrate a right they don't have. That's just tacky! Forget like anything else, it's like really tacky for us." 

Kristen Bell, Dax Shepard's fiance, on marriage equality:

"I don't believe in standing in the way of love, and I want to stand up for that right. And that's what it is. If someone wants to commit their life to another person, why would I not bolster that argument?"

Once again, it’s going to take more than just the LGBT community to gain equality. We need our straight allies, and we need them to speak up.

Mittsy Romney, offering a new excuse for not releasing his tax returns:

"Our church doesn’t publish how much people have given. This is done entirely privately. One of the downsides of releasing one’s financial information is that this is now all public, but we had never intended our contributions to be known. It’s a very personal thing between ourselves and our commitment to our God and to our church."

Um, Mittsy, you delusional hack.

This might have made some minuscule bit of sense, had it been said the FIRST TIME anyone asked to see your returns.

And it might have made sense had you not already released the returns for 2010 that had all you church-y donations listed.

Your newest excuse holds about as much water as any other excuse you’ve offered.

Show us your tax returns.

Charlie Crist, former Florida governor, and Republican, endorsing Barack Obama for president:

"As America prepares to pick our president for the next four years—and as Florida prepares once again to play a decisive role—I'm confident that President Barack Obama is the right leader for our state and the nation. I applaud and share his vision of a future built by a strong and confident middle class in an economy that gives us the opportunity to reap prosperity through hard work and personal responsibility. It is a vision of the future proven right by our history."

Snap.

I don’t think too much about Crist, given his alleged closeted homosexuality, but it is nice to see someone take a stand against their own party, and their own candidate.

It won’t make much of a splash, because it’s Crist, but it was still nice to read.

David Mixner, former Clinton White House adviser, on the importance of voting:

"It is not enough just to vote for Obama/Biden but we must turn out our vote. Reflect on the the results of last Friday's CNN Poll to have all the proof you need to get busy now. When all voters were polled, President Obama defeats good ole Mitt by 52% to 43%. That is a nine point huge victory. However, when just those 'likely to vote' were polled, the election becomes a toss-up with 49% to 47%. Every damn voter we get to the poll from our community is going to count. Every single person we can get to the polls will make a difference. No community, none, loses more than the LGBT community if the right-wing Tea Party Republicans become the dominant force in our American politics. LGBT Americans have died, been beaten and have paid terrible prices in order for us to get this close to full equality. What a shame if we honor their memory by not completing this battle."

It’s one thing to say you support the president but you must follow that up with voting. Saying it doesn’t really count unless you do something about it.

Vote.

Jesten Peters, “Reverend” of Keys of Authority Ministries, saying her organization prayed Isaac away from Tampa:

"We have had lots and lots of people praying around the clock that it would move, and after you watch from the very beginning where they were saying it was coming and now where they say it is going, then it has really moved out of the way for us and we appreciate God doing that and moving it for us!"

Um, moron? May I call you moron?

Hurricanes move. Winds cause them to move. Ocean currents cause them to strengthen and weaken which causes them to move.

And, when you were praying it to move away from Tampa did you give the tiniest rat’s ass thought about sending it to New Orleans?

I may start a prayer group to have you move…away from asshattery.

Chris Matthews, MSNBC news pundit, laying into RNC Chairman Reince Priebus about Mittsy’s lame birther joke from last week:

"It is an embarrassment to your party to play that card...This stuff about getting rid of the work requirement for welfare is dishonest — everyone's pointed out it's dishonest....And you are playing that little ethnic card there. You can play your games and giggle about it, but the fact is that your side is playing that card."

It was pathetic to watch Priebus giggle like a mean girl when Matthews spoke.

It’s just further proof that the GOP isn’t about moving forward, it’s about lying and race-baiting and rehashing some issue that’s been dead—and I think we’ve seen the death certificate every time we see the birth certificate—for years.

Chris Christie, on whether or not Mittsy should release more tax returns, and if he should have made that birther “joke”:

“I think if he had to do it over again, he wouldn’t make the joke. But you know what, when you’re on camera 12, 14 hours a day, and you’re at a big rallies and you’re just going off the cuff, there are going to be times you’re going to say stuff you wish you could take back. If you get a chance to talk to Governor Romney, I think he’d tell you that he wishes he could take that one back.”

Wrong, KrispyKreme.

You learn, as a politician, through all your surveys and reports and polls, what you can and can't say, should and shouldn't say.

You learn what your base wants to hear, and Mittsy needs the wingnut GOP base so he purposely made that "joke".

Michael Musto, writing for the Village Voice, on “gay” Republicans:

"Just when you assumed gay self-loathing had been deposited in the dead-chicken bins, along comes a new wave of self-flagellation aimed to throw us under the hate truck. At a time when gays have made significant progress and other people are fully available to do all the hating, some gays crazily want to join in! I'm talking about the wave of gay Republicans who grovel before the enemy, making lavish excuses for politically repellent candidates—you know, the Romney/Ryan ticket—who would gladly turn us into a subordinate class without any semblance of full equality. There's no one more self-loathing than the oxymoronic 'grubs' (gay Repubs) who rally to the defense of power-crazed bigots, spinning them as champions of decency and fairness who happen to be grossly misunderstood."

I understand having a conservative mindset and feeling like the Democratic party doesn't represent you. But as a gay man, how do you justify following a party that constantly seeks to denigrate you?

That's the height of self-loathing.

Stephen Colbert, on how it’s actually The Gays who created Hurricane Isaac:

"Hurricanes form from rising moisture created by hot steamy man action aboard a gay Caribbean cruise. When that sin gets high enough it makes the angels cry and those tears fall to earth in the form of massive precipitation because homosexuals are a vital part of the water cycle. That's why the gay symbol is a rainbow!"

I missed that in my copy of The Gay Agenda.

But I like it….and I needed a good laugh today!

Random Musings

Overheard at work:

Me [to female co-worker]: That is so cool that you did that!

Female co-worker: Did what?

Me: Honor Phyllis Diller by doing your hair like--

Female Co-worker: Who's Phyllis Diller?

Me: You mean you didn't--

Female Co-worker: Didn't what?

Me: Never mind.

As if we needed further proof the Mormons--for the most part--don't like The Gays, at least one Mormon-owned television station in Utah has declared that they will not air The New Normal due to its "perverted" depiction of a gay male couple. 

Cuz the two guys use a surrogate to have a baby, and, maybe, because Ellen Barkin is in it and she is high-lariously racist.

Add to that the fact that One Million Moms, via spokesNazi Monica Cole, and Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association, have joined in and you can just bet this will be the most watched new show of the season.

I'm in, because I'm out.

I know it isn't a big jump to conclude that Rush Limbaugh is a drug-addicted moron, but then even Rush goes for a deep swim in the intellectually-challenged pool.

See, Rush is suggesting that President Obama might have personally tampered with the Hurricane Center’s prediction models for the path of Hurricane Isaac, with the hopes that it would force the GOP to delay or cancel its convention in Tampa, Florida this week.

Yeah, he did. Sure, while he was spreading this conspiracy theory, and also denying he was spreading this conspiracy theory, Rush said:

“And I noticed that the hurricane center’s track is—and I’m not alleging conspiracies here. The hurricane center is the regime; the hurricane center is the Commerce Department and I'm noticing that that track stayed zeroed in on Tampa day after day after day. And the Republicans react to it accordingly over the weekend, canceling the first day of the convention. What could be better for the Democrats than the Republicans to cancel a day of this...Okay, 6:45 p.m. Saturday night the Republicans announce that they’re canceling Monday. At 6:45 p.m. Saturday night, everybody is still under the impression that Isaac is making a beeline for very close to Tampa. It was an hour and 15 minutes later that the eight p.m. model runs showed New Orleans. I’m alleging no conspiracy. I’m just telling you, folks, when you put this all together in this timeline, I’m telling you, it’s unbelievable."

Unbelievable is right. Unless you live inside Rush's drug-addled, Chick-fil-A-hole filled, brain. 

And speaking of moronic Republican lapdogs, Ann Romney has come out as saying Modern Family is her favorite TV show, and how she looked forward to watching it each week.

Modern Family. With the gay couple and their adopted Asian baby.

Well, Modern Family executive producer Steve Levitan found it all a bit ironic, given her faith--the GOP--and her religion--Mormonism--and Tweeted: 

"Thrilled Ann Romney says ModFam is her favorite show. We'll offer her the role of officiate at Mitch & Cam's wedding. As soon as it's legal."

Snap.

Last week I watched Meet The Press from the RNC in Tampa, and Arizona Governor--and certifiable moron....which I'll prove momentarily--Jan Brewer was a guest.

Now, I'm notALLEGING she's a drunkard, but I am saying that watching Brewer try to stitch together a coherent thought was a little like watching me try to insert a key into my front door lock after a night of martoonis with the fellas.

It was that ugly. They were discussing Todd Akin and his idiocies and she kept calling him Adkins, or Atkins, or anything but his real name. And then she mumbled something about the Democrats War On Women. I know!

But, if you needed further convincing that Jan Brewer is ALLEGEDLY a drunkard, or just a full bore lunatic, look no further than the fact that she has endorsed President Obama from the floor of the RNC.

Oh, but she did. see the video HERE.

Brewery, er, Brewer:  

“I know if President Obama is elected in November, which I hope he is, he will be able to come together with all of us and come up with a solution. I believe he will secure our borders. And therefore, we can resolve all of the other issues as a simple matter.”

Now it's possible that Brewery, er, Brewer misspoke, but isn't it just further proof that she isn't fit to be a governor? Even of Arizona?

The Log Cabin Republicans believed their presence at this year's GOP national convention would help move their party toward equality. 

The GOP helping The Gays move forward? Really? LCR? Is anyone home there?

Of course they soon realized they were wrong, because the Republican platform is just as discriminatory and hateful as eve:

"The platform affirms the rights of states and the federal government not to recognize same-sex marriage," reads the party manifesto. "It backs a constitutional amendment defining marriage as the union of one man and one woman."

And now, all of the sudden, the LCR is pissed at the GOP for being so visibly and vocally anti-gay--as most self-loathing closeted homosexuals are--and LCR's director of programs, Casey Pick, says:  "We lost. And you could say the social conservatives in our party dropped the hammer harder because we were there."

Or you could just say the LCR wore blinders where the GOIP was concerned.

Paul Ryan.

Tea party Grand Wizard, or so it seems, who said in his acceptance speech--I think he won the GOP for Best Hangdog Eyes--that American rights are moral rights given to us by God:

"Each of these great moral ideas is essential to democratic government – to the rule of law, to life in a humane and decent society. They are the moral creed of our country, as powerful in our time, as on the day of America’s founding. They are self-evident and unchanging, and sometimes, even presidents need reminding, that our rights come from nature and God, not from government."

Um, Paul, you delusional fuck. Um, God already has a set of laws called The Bible, which, by the way, a lot of you who quote continuously from, but do not actually follow yourselves.

So, God's laws are in the Bible, and, correct me if I'm wrong, and I'm not, so best stay quiet, I don't see god's name on the Declaration of Independence. I don't see it on the Bill of Rights or the Constitution.

In fact, other than mentioning a creator I don't really see a lot of God in our laws.

And, if we're going to hurry back to the days of using God's laws, what did she say about lying? She may have not mentioned it specifically, but I know she's be less than thrilled that you keep saying the GM plant in Wisconsin was closed by Obama when, in fact the truth is--and take a moment to acquaint yourself with the truth--that the plant closed months before Obama won the White House, and many months before he even moved in.

Failing to understand that makes you a moron, and a Tea party darling.

Good luck.

In other RNC news:

New jersey Governor Chris Christie was the big speaker--and I'm just going to let that one lie there--at the RNC the other night.

And I loved it.

Mainly because his speech, about the GOP and presumptive nominee Mitt Romney, rambled on for nearly twenty minutes before he even mentioned Mittsy. 

See, it was less "Let's get Mitt in the White House" and more "He can't win but vote for me in 2016."

Add to that the fact that Ron Paul and The Paulettes won't endorse you and the RNC is looking like the Grand Old Clusterfuck.

Tweets from, and about, The RNC: