PR8EP6: The One Where Everyone Bashes Michael Costello

Aaaah, morning in La Grande Apple. Prostitutes head home after a hard night on their feet, back and knees; stockbrokers scurry off to work looking for new ways to stick it to America; and Ivy is applying makeup to both of her faces.

First to the face that asks Gretchen if she wants to join them after Tim ripped Gretchen a new one last week. Then she does the lips on the face that says to Valerie, It was good that Gretchen got knocked down, and brought back to reality.

The Two Faces Of Ivy....and both of them ugly.

CHALLENGE

To transform a bridesmaid dress, and a bridesmaid, into something fashionable. The runway is littered with faux satins and silks in every god-awful color and style known to man. Casanova, as last weeks winner, gets first pick, and then names are drawn. The last to pick is the Chicken Little, Michael Drummond, who announces: I got the worst! I got the worst!

Tim then offers a PR Monkeywrench to the designtestsants. After their first day of designing and creating and hot gluing, they will show their work at a Designer Showcase, open to the public--or as Valerie calls them: Real people?

The Real People will interact with the designers and then vote on which design they like best by dropping a button into a fishbowl, and the judges will take their votes into consideration.

Real people? In NYC?

Let's rip....

ANDY

I like Andy. I've liked everything he's shown this season, except for last week's disastrous Team Big Head Challenge, but I don't like that Andy has purchased a ticket on the Gretchen/Ivy train to TrashMichaelTown.

He says he wants to respect Michael, but Michael hasn't shown anything to impress him,. Guess what, Andy? He doesn't have to impress you. He has to impress the judges, which he has done more often than you. If you get my meaning.

When Tim stops to see his outfit, which Andy has dyed and cut into shorts, Tim says, It looks like a clubbing outfit, but then look at me!

I love Tim Gunn. I'd go clubbing with Tim Gunn.

On the runway, Andy's outfit looked okay, but it was shorts and a top. Well made, I imagine, because that's Andy, but nothing showstopping.

He gets a pass and heads back to the Stew Room with the other bitches.

APRIL

April gets the model/client from hell, who wants short and flirty and sexy but doesn't like anything April shows her.

There will be blood.

Then her model asks if they can make pieces of the outfit detachable--sort of like adult Garanimals--which further sends April after her with the shears. She tells the girl she can detach it all, after the runway. Cut it to shreds, but zip the lips for now.

On the runway, it's pretty, but that's about it.

April gets a pass, though I take points off because she jumped on the Michael C Trash Talk Express, even though last week she was on his side against Gretchen.

She's a goosestepper, and I don't like it.

CASANOVA

He has immunity and that's all he cares about. I fear he won't even design anything because he doesn't want to hear Tim and he knows he's safe.

But he does. And he gets the modern and edgy look that Valerie missed by a mile. The top is loose and fun, and the pants are very well made. Plus, more reasons Casanova is growing on me: no histrionics, and he will not bash Michael C.

The Casanova Moment: Tim comes by to critique, and you see the look of fear on Casa's face, waiting for Tim to call it old or slutty or flamenco. But Tim likes the blousy look and Casanova responds, A-saaaaack-ly........A-saaaaaack-ly.

At the Showcase, he gets props for the sexy pants, and not just because he's Puerto Rican!

With immunity, comes a pass, and Casanova, or as Heidi says, Cazanoooooovah, is safe.

GRETCHEN

She gets the pity edit because Tim called her out.

Poor Gretchen. Everyone thinks she's beat down, and she gets a phone home to complain to Mama Jones about how hard it is.....when you're losing.

She wants Tim's critique of her work, but she wants him to save his personal critiques for somebody else, and every time Tim comes into the workroom, she looks like she's gonna bust out the tears, or bust out a gun, or just bust outta the room.

But then she reverts to form, and trashes the other designers: She doesn't like Peach's work, though she is oh-so-nice to Peach's face; she doesn't like Chris's work, but refrains from calling it design school work, though we all know that's what she meant.

At the showcase, she is in the face of everyone. It's a top you can wear with jeans; it's a skirt you can wear with a blazer; it's all hand-painted. And it shows off an awful lot of side boob, which is always bad.

No buttons, for Gretchen.

But, if there was an Irritating Egomaniacal Bitch Bowl, it would be full.
On the runway, I just don't get it. The top looks like a tie-dyed T-shirt with tuxedo tails, and the bottom looks like a satin-and-lace skirt. And then you throw on a pair of thigh high boots. I really thought this was a mess, and not just because I loathe Gretchen.

It just didn't work.

But it doesn't get Auf'd either, and Gretchen leads her coven backstage.

IVY

Ivy doesn't get a lot of screen time designing or talking to her client or sewing. Her screen time is all spent telling us how much she hates Michael C. His construction is horrible. The lace is overkill. He told people not to vote for me at the showcase because I'm a bitch.

At the showcase she is a bitch, running on and on about the pant and the shirt and it's separates and.....and.....two buttons.

Shut up, and design already.

And design something that isn't bland and white and pale yellow and truly truly boring.
Better yet, Go home.

VALERIE

She announces that this is the week where Michael C goes because he has no talent.

Careful what you wish for, Valerie.

She gets an awful pink dress, and then starts to turn it into a sailor outfit. Yes, I said it, a sailor outfit. Tim bitchslaps her, telling her it doesn't look designer it looks like clothing.

Smack.Down. I think.

Valerie wants funky modern and edgy. There's another word that starts with 'F' that comes to mind when I see Valerie's creation.

And I see some weird bondage-esque straps that rise up from wide flat boobs and then crisscross in the back. Edgy! Modern! Effed up!

At the Showcase, people are stopping by and giving her props on the dress, and yet I am not hearing the clink of buttons in her fishbowl. Regular people don't know anything.

But they do know, and Valerie's beginning to suspect, that she's headed straight to the bottom.

And she did.

She tells the judges she decided to do some colorblocking, and I kinda wished I could colorblock the whole thing from my brain. Kors withheld no punches and called it bad, then terrible. Cynthia Rowley thought the top too big, the skirt too short, the straps too whore, and the whole thing too ugly. Nina thought she made the woman look like a short, broad woman with massive boobs.

Yeah, that'll win Project Runway.

In Hell.

But it does get a save.

MICHAEL DRUMMOND

I am not a fan of prissy, poser Michael D. I don't get the hats and the Native American beaded necklaces, or the Aunt Jemima bandanna. It's all too Look at me, I'm a designer and yet, really, he isn't.

Case in point: he takes the bridesmaid dress and cuts it shorter and then covers it up with lace and netting. Done!

But then he wants props for being kind to the fat girl. And let's face, every time he mentioned that his was a particularly difficult challenge, he meant that his model was a big girl. He even said, and lordy I wish if people didn't know how to pronounce a word they would refrain from using it, When you're designing for a woman who's a little volumptuous--and I think he meant v-o-l-u-p-t-u-o-u-s--you need to be smart and tailor it.

He seemed to think that if he sent he down the runway in a plastic bag, he should get a pass because he had to work with the big girl. And she had to work with a prissy poser.

Who first looked at using upholstery fabric. Yeah, nothing brings attention to a big girl more than covering her in sofa material. Luckily, he was, um, smart [?] and chose to buy cheap lace and netting to cover her up so that she looked liked an Easter Bonnet.

Which causes him to squeal, OMG! It's soooooooooo cute.

Which causes me to squeal, OMG! STFU!

At the showcase, he tells the public that he used curtain material to make the dress, which just screams Fabulous Designer. And he gets One Button. That should tell you something.

His dress on the runway is a mess. The netting and the dress both have uneven hems, and the big girl netted bra on top is just wacky. So wacky, Heidi gave it the bug-eyes as it left the catwalk.

Kors said he transformed bridesmaid to bat mitzvah, and that the original color was more appealing and flattering on his model. Heidi also agreed that it looked better before, which caused Michael to purr, The public seemed to like it.

Did you get a lot of buttons? Heidi asked.

No.

Uh-huh.

Nina called the fabric unfortunate and cheap and looking like mosquito netting. It showed every flaw and error in the creation of it. Guest judge Cynthia Rowley said it just doesn't work.

But just doesn't work isn't bad enough to go home and Drummond gets a pass.

PEACH

The best part about Peach is her personality. When she was instructing her model on how to sell the dress....Give a little of this and then a little of that...and then throw in this...I thought she was priceless.

And her dress was priceless, too. In that no amount of money would make a woman want to wear that thing. See, Peach had issues. She cut the skirt wrong; then she cut it wrong again; then she ran out of fabric. Then she ruffled.

I mean, all I can say is that at least it wasn't pink.

But she sold it at the Showcase, and she was fun and flirty with the public. As she said, she could sell ice in Iceland, and I believe her. But she couldn't sell this dress.

Kors hated it all. Except for the models hair. The ruffles, the avocado dinner napkins at the waist. It's unfortunate. It's Holly Hobby Halter. It's not sexy. Heidi called the bedskirt ruffle out, and then asked the model if she felt sexy.

The girl said, It's comfortable.

Ouch.

And Auf'd.

Sad to see you go, Peach. I didn't think you were the best, but you were fun and funny and didn't fall into the Haterade.

CHRISTOPHER

Christopher's model has some sort of neon blue nightmare for him to recreate, but as she waited in the Stew Room to meet with her, she apparently got cold feet.

A runaway bridesmaid, if you will. But I think the idea of standing in front of Michael Kors while he tears you a new one sent her packing. So, Christopher gets a new model, and a new dress, and a new fabric. Christopher is afraid.

But he somehow makes it work. At least the top half, which looks flowy and effortless while the bottom half is kind of stiff. And this is the second time he's tried to do flowy and come up stiff. And short.

But his model/client Ava is absolutely fabulous! I want her on the show every week because she is diva-licious-ness.

All the judges agree that the dress doesn't match top to bottom, though Cynthia Rowley likes it, and says, It looks like a bridesmaid dress that was ripped apart and reconstructed into this.

Um, Cynthia? Dear? That was the challenge, and you don't get points for doing the challenge.

MONDO

He called his look 'mountain inspired' and I didn't get that.

But I liked it. A lot.

He turned his awful pink bridesmaid fabric inside-out so that the sheen was gone, and then he made this very cooll 1960s inspired dress.

And then he explained to the judges how it can be made to look casual, or look evening. Mondo, who has not fully boarded the Hate Train, though I think he has a ticket, is the quiet storm of the group, and I'm beginning to think he'll go far.

Tim loved it.

Nina thought it modern.

Rowley said it was streamlined and chic.

Kors liked that it was tough and feminie.

But the Snooki hairdo and the styling werte not pleasing to the judges, so this only gets second place.

MICHAEL COSTELLO

He doesn't know if anyone on the show likes him, and I'm not sure why they don't.

He isn't a bitch, that's Ivy.

He isn't a bully with a Big Apple Ego, that's Gretchen.

I think it started because the challenge he won was after he ripped his original design apart and started over with just a few hours left and the judges loved it.

But seriously people, get over it. He isn't the best, that's for sure, but the constant beatings he takes are making him a favoirite.

As for his dress, his model/client wants short...shorter...shortest....and lace. Michael is leery of lace, and Tim is scared to pieces of lace. Try and talk her out of it, he says. But as Michael finishes his dress, with all sorts of nips and tucks, the model asks fort the lace again, and, well, it actually works.

At the Showcase, people are loving his design, and his personality. Ivy says that she heard from people--and by people I mean any of the myriad voices in her head--that Michael is telling the public not to vote for her.

I think this is another Ivy atenmpt to bash him.

Even the next day, when he tells her he never said it, she chooses not to believe him.

Well, I choose to believe that Ivy is just an evvil bitch with no discernible talent.

At first glance, on the runway, I thought, Oh, no! But as it walked, and you saw more of it, it was very nice looking. And the lace did work. Michael was worried that it was too short, especially after Nina's hawkeyes zeroed in on the bottom, but it worked.

Heidi thought it was edgy and hip, and that the lace helped because not everything was out on display. She also liked that, after last week, when the others threw him under the bus as being losuy at sewing and designing and construction, that he gave this complete and polished look. Kors thought his dress went from bland to expensive. And though it was short, on this model it worked. Nina and Cynthia Rowley loved everything from the length to the lace to the satin and the bows.

And they gave Michael C his second win.

Take that, Gretchen.

BACKSTAGE

After the group was separated into saved, and top and bottom, Gretchen and her minions went backstage to gossip about who was good and how bad was Michael C. They all agree that Valerie is in the bottom, and Gretchen again calls out Michael C for his construction issues--while the judges out front are praising him for his construction.
Gretchen says you can't do lace and swoop necks and zippers and satin, but you can, Gretchen. You can.
Well, You can't but Michael C can.
In between the critiques and the verdict, as everyone sits together, Peach laughs and says the judges hated everything about her look save the hair., and the other designers should thank her because her awfulness saved them.
Michael Drummond told them the judges thought his dress looked cheap, and then says, But they liked Michael C's, sooooooooooo.....The judges don't know anything? Oh. Drummond. Take off that bandanna and mop your brow because you are close to being Auf'd.
When Michael C says the judges like his work, Valerie sneers at Andy who sneers at Ivy who always sneers.
Gretchen is oddly silent, until Michael leaves the room for the verdict and then she explodes. The judges don't know what they're doing. Craftsmanship doesn't count. Oh, unless she wins the challenge and then the judges are smart and right on.

Michael C returns to this group of people who hate him, and for what....not being able to sew as well as the rest of them? Or for winning one challenge with a two-hour dress? He shyly announces that he's won, and Ivy says, Of course you did.
WHAT.A.BITCH.
She and the rest of Mount Bitchmore sit there stone faced and pouting. That is until Mondo comes in, and then they cheer. Chris comes in and then they cheer.
Next week looks like some sort of team challenge and I'm thinking fireworks....and guns and knives.
Stay tuned.