Thursday, August 06, 2020

Bobservations

I have often said that when I have a cold or flu and take NyQuil, I have NyQuil dreams; vivid, bizarre make no sense dreams. Now, it’s been a loooong while since I’ve taken NyQuil but the other night I couldn’t sleep, and so the next night I fixed myself a cup of Green Tea with Agave to settle me down for a good night’s sleep.

Didn’t work. I woke up every twenty minutes or so and I had a dream that was all kinds of bizarre and seemed to stop when I awoke and resume when I dozed; it went like this …

I was a Congressman—I know, nightmare, right?—and I was looking to get out of office, mainly because there was snow on the Capitol roof and apparently it was my job to shovel it off, So, I figured I’d get a new job and began walking … into what looked like a State Fair, I saw my friend, Dillon, and told him I was looking for work, and he said he worked for a women who owned a farm, I said, “Do I look like a fucking farmer?”

But Dillon took me to meet his boss underneath a freeway, who told me she also owned a Mexican food truck. I said I could do that work, but she only needed someone to make Nacho cheese sauce; I said I could do so much more than that, and then my friend Mark, who is an amazing chef who owns Mägo in Oakland suddenly appears and said he wanted to make Nacho cheese sauce and so he got my job.

Someone mentioned a job fair and I began walking and walking and then found a huge group of people in line. One of the people was Carol Burnett, dressed as Miss Hannigan from Annie, with a gaggle of imps and orphans following her. I thought nothing of it. I also thought nothing of the two Lesbians walking in front of me who told me you had to be in costume at the job fair, and they had an extra Handmaid’s Tale look if I wanted; I politely refused and headed toward the men’s room, looking for a costume.

But all they had were white suits and :::gasp::: black shoes. And so, since I was desperate to get out of Congress and not have to clean snow off the Capitol, I began looking through the suits for my size. Trouble was, they were all David Byrne suits … 185-inch chest, 90 in the arms. Nothing my size, though everyone else seemed to find a suit.

I slipped into a changing room and tried on the smallest giant suit and was swimming in it, but still decided to go out …

I opened the door …

Donald _____...

I woke with a start and never went back to sleep again.
Tuxedo feels about the Occupant of the White House the same as his two Dads although he's slightly less profane 
Alabama state Congressman, Will Dismukes, who went to a Klan party rather than pay his respects to John Lewis, has stepped down as pastor of a Baptist church after the controversy.

God saw you, Will, and she was not happy.
Today in Stoopid … in 1985, _____ announced he’d struck oil on a vacant lot he owned on Manhattan’s Upper West Side, saying:
”Isn’t it amazing? It’s a classic major oil find in Manhattan.”
Not so fast, con man. What he found was actually spilled and leaked leftover oil because the property was once used to be a rail yard.  But still, _____ claimed he was already getting calls from Texan oil barons about his huge find.
“We could be pumping here for years.”
Or … take that dead muskrat off your head and soak up the leftovers. Ass.
Rightwingnut, Faux-Christian and Liberty University President Jerry Falwell Jr. posted—and then deleted—a bizarre Instagram post in which he appeared with his shirt hiked up and his pants unzipped, standing next to a woman identified as a “friend.”
No wonder he supports _____. Birds of a feather …
Last week David Nagy of Jefferson Texas died from COVID 19. His wife, Stacey, gave his obituary to the local paper, naming surviving family members and … about halfway down, they sent a message to both _____ and Texas GOP Governor Greg Abbott:
“Family members believe David’s death was needless. They blame his death and the deaths of all the other innocent people, on _____, Abbott and all the politicians who did not take this pandemic seriously and were more concerned with their popularity and votes than lives.”
Stacey then went after those anti-maskers, calling them “ignorant, self-centered and selfish people” who ignore medical professionals and instead believe that “their ‘right’ not to wear a mask was more important than killing innocent people.”

It’s not.

RIP David Nagy and know that a great many Americans hold _____ responsible for your death, and the other 158,000+.
My mother cooked dinner when we were kids. Every night. We didn’t go out to eat much, and rarely had fast food—which may explain why, to this day, I don’t eat fast food. Buy my favorite story about my mother’s cooking was really about my best friend Curtis’s mother’s, um, culinary stylings.

Once, spending the night at Curtis’ house, we were out in the backyard and his mother came to the window and asked what we wanted for dinner; she said something about spaghettis and we both yelled, “YES!”

Inside the house I watched Curtis’ mom make the dinner and the next day, when I got back home I raced into the kitchen to say to my mother:
“Mom? Mom? Mom? Guess what? They make spaghetti … in … a …can!”

My mother turned and smiled and said:
“Not in this house they don’t.”
The Racist-In-Chief sat down with Axios’ Jonathan Swan and said this about John Lewis:

Swan: How do you think history will remember John Lewis.

_____: I don’t know, I really don’t know. I don’t know, I don’t know John Lewis.  He chose not to come to my inauguration, He chose—I never met John Lewis, actually, I don’t believe.

Swan: Do you find John Lewis impressive?

_____: I can’t say one way or the other—I find a lot of people, impressive. I find many people not impressive, but, no, he didn’t come to my inauguration, He didn’t come to my State of the Union speeches, and that’s okay. That’s his right. And, again, nobody has done more for Black Americans than I have. He should’ve come. I think he made a big mistake. I think he should’ve come.

Swan: But taking your relationship out of it, do you find his story impressive—what’s he’s done for this country?

_____: He was a person who devoted  lot of energy and a lot of heart to Civil Rights. But there were many others, also.

This racist can fuck all the way off.
Michael Ferraro. Yum. Curly hair, hot body, loves posing in underwearand, well, getting handsy.

Did I say ‘yum’?
This is a cute little funny tweet, made all the better by the fact that the Tweeter is Kellyanne Conway’s daughter.



19 comments:

the dogs' mother said...

Spaghetti in a can?!?!
chortle, xoxo :-)

Debra She Who Seeks said...

That's quite the obituary!

Deedles said...

That was a pretty good dream until the nightmarish end, Bobulah!
Michael Ferraro, yum is right except for that nose divot. I want to chew it. I'm not well, obviously.

Mistress Maddie said...

No more fucking anything for you before bed...trump alone would be enough for me to never sleep again!!! He'll...i though mi in a dream as Breathless Mahoney was crazy. You win.

I got my third warning for some choice words on David DePukes Instagram......I am also dan flaming on The trump children's this week. I figure might as well go out with a bang!

Fawell looks like white trash in that picture...but shouldn't his arm be around a boy???? I am confused.

I saw the wife of David Nagy last night. I believe I was cheering her on to the tv.

Now send over Michael Ferrari...i have a chore for him......

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

Hahaha I can only imagine your mom's indignation.
And I rarely can remember my dreams. I'm gonna take NiQuil just as an experiment.
The racists and the stupid share a huge overlap of the Cheeto Venn Diagram.
Tuxedo is a treasure.
Also, Mr. Ferrari should let me ride his car...

XOXO

Agnes Goldberg-DeWolfs said...

Might I highly recommend you never take NyQuil again. like ever.

I don't know how you sleep to this day again after that?

Treaders said...

I get really weird dreams (nightmares) too sometimes and while I can figure some of them out, I can't work the rest out. But a congressman shovelling snow off a roof!!! That'll be the day. And good on that lady for letting rip in her husband's obituary. She is absolutely right!

Helen Lashbrook said...

Don't most people cook their own food? Or is it just people like me and thee Bob? I worked full-time, ran a house and looked after my family while doing a masters degree in my spare time and I still cooked a meal for the family every night; what excuse do the non-cookers have?

anne marie in philly said...

YASSSSSSSSSSSSS, tuxedo!

falwell - WHAT WOULD YOUR DADDY SAY? or did daddy fuck around too? and you have a beer gut, and that ain't your wife; she looks under age to me. and how close does your hand have to be near her boob?

RTG and I cook dinner at home most nights. today we are having chinese food for lunch/dinner.

YAYZ for claudia!

and I'd like to hop on that nice boy at the end; he does need more chest fur though.

Bob said...

@TDM
I had never seen such a thing!

@Debra
I think quite a few people are doing obits like that.

@Deedles
Yes, the end of the dream snapped me right awake.
And let's talk about biting nose divots????

@MM
I have no idea where that dream came from ... oy!
Yeah, Jerry likes the young mens in unzipped pants!

@Six
My mom acted like my childhood had been taken from me! =)
And, yes, riding Michael would be fun!

@Agnes
The scary thing was this was a Nyquil-free dream ...unless there was month's old residual in my bloodstream!

@Treaders
Makes me wonder how my mind works, if it does!

@Helen
I cook like my mother ... without cans and processed stuff. It's actually cheaper in the long run and by far much better!

@AM
I'm with you on all points ... asusal!

Dave R said...

I do believe Jerry's friend is a little undone, too.

My Mom made Renee's Specials, anything and everything she could mix with ground beef got mixed with ground beef.

Michael said...

I enjoyed reading this post! Your dream was indeed quite bizarre. I had a bizarre dream last night as well, and I only remember bits and pieces, but in the dream were people that I haven't spoken to or seen in years. When I woke up, I thought, "what was that all about?" I am still wondering!

Sheila Morris said...


God sees you, Bob, and your blogs make her as happy as they make me. Rock on.

Bob said...

@Dave
THAT was falwell's excuse for his own attire!

@Michael
I have very vivid dreams and remember many of them, but this one was a doozy!

@Sheila
Thank you! Carry on .....

Ur-spo said...

Oh I would love some spaghetti in a can right about now.

Travel said...

I think there is a Senate seat in contention, maybe this is your cue to run for office.

Bob said...

@ur-Spo
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

@TRavel
Senator Bob sounds good ???? =)

Moving with Mitchell said...

That nightmare! I don't really understand that Conway family. How in the world do they survive together... and why? And Claudia Conway will get MY vote.

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