Thursday, August 13, 2020

Bobservations


So, as I mentioned earlier, we got iPhones and have joined many of you in the 21st century. Carlos uses his quite a bit, for work, for calling Mexico; I use mine slightly more than I used my old phone.

Still … Carlos. When we were buying them, we told the salesperson about his vision issues and so on and she showed him things he can do, and use, on the phone to make things easier. She spent a great deal of time with Carlos, and me, and was very kind and funny, so I went on Google reviews and gave her a glowing report.

Then Carlos, deciding he doesn’t need to take things slow, even on a new phone that he doesn’t entirely know how to use, deleted several icons from the screen because he wanted to streamline the screen. But, he deleted the icon used to get on the internet and so back to the store we went. There were a few people ahead of us in line, so we stood and waited; the woman who helped us buying the phones, was at the counter and waved and said Hello, and I said:
“He’s already messed up his phone.”
She replied:
“Oh, nooooo.”
But then she fixed it and told him not to do that again. All was well until …

Carlos was reading an email and it was small and hard for him; so, I took the phone and enlarged the image so he could see it, but with it enlarged, he had to scroll back and forth,. So, I took the phone again and turned it sideways and the email flipped sideways and was easier to read. Carlos started at it in amazement and said:
“Ooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh.”
My little man is growing up,
Tuxedo was especially glad to hear Biden’s news this week and is glad we might have a literate president for the first time in four years.

Speaking of Biden, and his selection of Kamala Harris as his running mate, did you know that in 2011 and again in 2013, _____ donated a total of $6,000 to Harris’ campaign for California attorney general. Ivanka, also gave Harris $2,000 in 2014.

Huh, a couple of years before running for office as a Republican these two hypocrites were supporting Democrats?

Shocking!
Well, he showed us that he can say five words … Person, Woman, Man, Camera, TV … but he cannot pronounce the name of a National Park in California. He called it:
“Yo, Semite.”
And then he called an entire nation:
“Thighland.”
Clearly he wasn’t thinking of a country but of one of his Russian hookers.
And the hits keep coming … after being called a racist because he went to celebrate the birth of a Klansman rather than pay his respects to John Lewis …and after he was forced to resign as pastor of his church for going to KlanKon, this week an arrest warrant was issued for GOP Alabama State Representative. Will Dismukes.

Dismukes is charged with first-degree theft of property from place of employment between the years 2016 to 2018. The charge is a Class B felony and levied when a person steals in excess of $2,500.

Sorry, not sorry, Will.
Liberty University’s Board of Trustees have asked the school’s president, Jerry Falwell Jr., to take an “indefinite [and extended] leave of absence” from his roles at the university, which include serving as president and chancellor. This comes days after Falwell Jr. posted, then deleted a photo of himself and a woman both in unzipped pants.

Bye Jerry, you religious hypocrite.
On the Good News side … after working nearly non-stop on this country’s response to the COVID-19 pandemic, everyday Dr. Anthony Fauci and his wife power-walk through their neighborhood.

And I imagine his sprits pick up while he walks because dozens of his neighbors have taken to posting signs in their yards that read:
“Thank you, Dr. Fauci.”
Yes, indeed, Thank you, Dr. Fauci.
I’ll apologize first for my childish need to go low but … this week it was announced that Chris Christie will be helping _____ with his debate prep.

What? Is there a doughnut eating section?

Again, I apologize.
And finally, Jay Gould, a little bit of a palate cleanser this week. What is it that I like about him … The sexy face; the baby blues; his fashion game and his underwear game. I like that he travels light; just the one back on the clothes on his …ass. His love for showering in leather, latex and sunglasses.


The fact that he looks good wet.


And finally, the idea that a little bit of Jack Daniels gets him out of his clothes, and that he needs the big bottle of Jack to hide his junk.


That’s all.



11 comments:

the dogs' mother said...

(Carlos) (Tuxedo)
DH will tell you that you occasionally
have to use colorful language to make
an iphone work.
take care, xoxo :-)

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

LMAOOOOO @ that Twitter cap! Love it.
Now, the idea of cheeto prepping for anything is ludicrous. That boorish oaf has no mental capacity for anything he ad-libs everything. It’ll be a joy watching uncle joe skin him.
Falwell now will have more time to oversee the pool boy, no?
And I feel Carlos. Yesterday I was trying to figure out a Samsung phone and it took me half an hour to find the menu I needed. I ended up on YouTube following a tutorial. Technology.
Now, concerning Mr. Gould, I can think of ways to get him wet while holding that bottle away from his fantastic body.

XoXo

Debra She Who Seeks said...

"Tangerine overlord," LOL!

anne marie in philly said...

jay gould - oh yum!

right on, tuxedo!

krispy kreme to dump: "read this sentence." dump: "uhhhhhhhhhh..."

falwell and dismukes - 2 pieces of xstain white male ignorant racist anti-everything shit!

Helen Lashbrook said...

I take it that Chris (Christ he's fat) Christie isn't shielding, although a bloke of his size ought to be damn worried about catching Covid-19. It could be fatal.

Michael said...

I loved this post. It put a smile on my face the whole way through. Carlos needs to be careful as he uses his iphone!

That twitter response was priceless. Tangerine overlord!

And the guy at the end? A great dessert to a great post!

Bob said...

@TDM
Carlos tries the colorful language from the jump!

@Six
I never thought of sending Carlos to YouTube for iPhone lessons!!

@Debra
That was good,right?

@AM
Jay Gould gets my motor humming!

@Helen
I just don't know what they think Christie has to make him any kind of debate perp person.

@Michael
Carlos' one flaw is that he has little patienece for checking something out before using it! And Jay Gould is a feat .....

Treaders said...

Ha, I love your Carlos stories!!! And I can't wait to watch Kamala Harris in action in debating Pence too!

Moving with Mitchell said...

Ah, Carlos (Ah, San Geraldo). Yes indeed. (Although San Geraldo would never dare remove anything. His iMac desktop has layer upon layer (upon layer upon layer upon...) of icons. The entire screen. I used his computer when mine was reinstalling the operating system. I had a nervous breakdow; I was released yesterday.

Dave R said...

Iphones... dear lord.

Christie's helping because he's a bit dimwitted and loves fast food.

I don't doubt that Dismukes will end up being dismissed.

Jay Gould... pretty... empty. Check this out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99pqyXRd7AI

Bob said...

@Treaders
I love the man to death, but he does say and do the darndest things!
Kamala will destroy him!

@Mitch
Carlos never deletes anything from the computer, but thte iPhone he figures he knows all about!

@Dave
It's not the phone .....