It's Snarkurday!

Too bad his mother isn’t still around to smack some sense into him, because his father is not doing a thing.

Last week, Redmond O’Neal, son of Ryan O’Neal and Farrah Fawcett, was arrested in Santa Monica for robbing a convenience store with a knife and is being held on $50,000 bail and is due in court on Thursday.

According to police, Redmond walked into the store armed with a knife and demanded the clerk to take out money from the register. After grabbing the cash, Redmond fled on foot and was arrested nearby.

Redmond has a long history of drug abuse; in 2011., Ryan said his son was a mess because he “never recovered from the loss of his mother”.But, yeah, Farrah Fawcett died in 2009; Redmond was arrested for possession of coke and meth in 2005, and in 2008 matching vials of meth were found in both Redmond and Ryan’s bedrooms.

In September 2011, Redmond’s probation was revoked after he admitted to using narcotics in court-ordered rehab that was imposed after he pleaded no contest to felony gun possession and heroin possession in August 2011.

In July 2015, Redmond was sentenced to three years in the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation but was credited for nearly a year served by his trial judge.

He’s just thirty-three, but Daddy’s still making excuses for him.

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Katy Perry must have realized her role as bothersome yappy kid sister on American Idol won’t last forever, and so she’s trying to find a new way back into the press … by offering a literal olive branch to frenemy—former frenemy—Taylor Swift. But Katy also knows that she gets a lot of press over the drama she creates and if she’s gonna play nice with TayTay, she’ll need a new feud to keep her name out there.

And along comes RiRi. Rumor has it their friendship fizzled when Katy started dating Orlando Bloom …again … and the pair hadn’t been seen together for well over a year. It was fueled when Rihanna was asked if she’d watch Katy on American Idol and RiRi said:

“It depends on how bored I am.”

Ouch. Now, cut to the Met Gala and the story that the two women were “forced” to take a picture together on the red carpet, and then, slam of all slams, Katy wasn’t invited to RiRi’s Met Gala after-party.

Ouch; and there’s more tea according to a “source”:

“Rihanna was chairing the Met Gala [and] had to pose with a lot of the celebrity guests but it was really uncomfortable when she was asked to have the photo with Katy. They used to be close but Rihanna’s expression in the photo says it all. Katy was upset about the whole situation because Rihanna was cold to her and she wasn’t invited to her after-party.”

Well, RiRi does look less-than-thrilled to be standing with Katy. Or maybe it’s because one of those bat wings clipped her pope’s hat.

Anyway, Katy, way to end one feud and score another. I’ll begin the countdown until Katy and TayTay start Mean Girling Rihanna. And laughing because Rihanna won’t care.

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Back in In March, the police were called twice in 24 hours to Tori Spelling’s house for “domestic” issues. Tori called police the first time, fearing there was a robbery in progress late at night, but it was just her husband Dean sneaking back into the house.

The next morning, Dean called emergency services on Tori, claiming she was flipping out and acting aggressive—a call that was characterized by dispatch as “female mental illness”—though it turns out to have been caused by Tori’s stress of being a mother to her five kids.

And so how does Tori Spelling fix this mess? She wants another baby.

Of course, she’s angling for another “reality” show, so a pregnancy could be seen as more coins in the contract because, you know, when you have no job, no discernible talent, and are married to a deadbeat dad, have a baby for TV.

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Oops, Baby Daddy Drama … in the Kardastrophe Klan.

Tim Chung is a member of the LAPD, but also moonlights as a bodyguard to celebrities and was on Kylie Jenner’s security detail for a while, right before she got pregnant. And then rumors started that maybe Tim Chung is the true father of Baby Stormi, and in the way he responded, well, he raised more questions than answers.

Chung took to his Instagram, which has a following of over 735,000, to say:

“I am a very private person and would normally never answer to gossip and stories that are so ridiculous that they are laughable. Out of deep respect for Kylie, Travis, their daughter together and their families, I would like to set the record straight that my interactions with Kylie and her family have been limited in strictly a professional capacity only. There is no story here and I ask that the media no longer include me in any narrative that is incredibly disrespectful to their family.”

I find it odd that this police officer used the very same media that all Kardastrophe’s use to try and quash a rumor. And he has three-quarters of a million followers?

Uh huh.

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On May 8th, someone named Pauley Perrette appeared in her final episode on something called NCIS and that’s when the real drama started. Pauley never offered an explanation for why she was leaving the show but now a story has emerged.

Pauley got real on Twitter—cuz that’s where one gets real—and sent out a series of tweets implying she was the victim of multiple physical assaults and a powerful cover-up on the set of the show:

“I refused to go low, that's why I've never told publicly what happened. But there are tabloid articles out there that are telling total lies about me. If you believe them? Please leave me alone. You clearly don't know me.”

And that was followed with:

“Maybe I'm wrong for not ‘spilling the beans’ Telling the story, THE TRUTH. I feel I have to protect my crew, jobs and so many people. But at what cost? I.don't.know. Just know, I'm trying to do the right thing, but maybe silence isn't the right thing about crime. I'm... Just... ?”

And then more passive aggressive gibberish:

“There is a ‘machine' keeping me silent, and feeding FALSE stories about me. A very rich, very powerful publicity ‘machine’. No morals, no obligation to truth, and I'm just left here, reading the lies, trying to protect my crew. Trying to remain calm. He did it.”

And then another hint:

“I've been supporting ant-bullying programs forever. But now I KNOW because it was ME! If it's school or work, that you're required to go to? It's horrifying. I left. Multiple Physical Assaults. I REALLY get it now. Stay safe. Nothing is worth your safety. Tell someone.”

That ‘false story’ she mentions might be the Radar Online story of how she was fired from the show due to a fight with star, and hottie, Mark Harmon. The rumor was that Perrette and Harmon fought like cats and dogs … over his dog; see, ALLEGEDLY, Harmon’s pit-bull rescue bit a crewmember and was barred from the set, but a year later, Harmon was allowed to bring the dog back. Perrette was incensed and refused to work with Harmon—and apparently, they had very few scenes together this past year and almost none together in her last episode—and was ultimately allowed to quit.

CBS issued a vague explanation about something:

“Pauley Perrette had a terrific run on NCIS and we are all going to miss her. Over a year ago, Pauley came to us with a workplace concern. We took the matter seriously and worked with her to find a resolution. We are committed to a safe work environment on all our shows.”

So, who really knows what happened? No one, at least until Perrette starts Tweeting again and this time actually says something.

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I’ll give it to That Woman, you know, the head of the Kardastrophe Klan, she knows how to make the coins. I mean, when her daughter’s boyfriend shopped around a sex tape, That Woman used it to get the family a TV show, so she can clearly take any situation and make it a money-maker.

Now, she’s doing press for her partnership with Bumble Bizz, a “networking” offshoot of the dating app, about finding a new minion someone to bone assistant and she spoke to the Huffington Post about it.

But HuffPo was more interested in Kylie Jenner spent an episode of last season’s Keeping Up With The Kardashians thinking an employee was trying to take photos of her before she announced her pregnancy, and how That Woman wanted the person killed maimed fired:

“Unfortunately, there are some bad people out there who have not good intentions. And, you know, I obviously can’t control that. But to the best of my ability, we try to have people on our team who have our back, who we feel that we can really trust.”

See, if anyone was gonna spills the beans about the knocked-up daughter, it would be That Woman, and she would pocket the coins that came from it. She acts almost like a Mark Harmon pit-bull and says she will go after anyone who dares speak the Kardastrophe name to the press …well, anyone who isn’t a Kardastrophe and making a profit from it:

“We obviously will go to and spare] no expense to hold somebody accountable if that happens on our team. I don’t care how much money somebody might have ― if they have nothing. Some people think, ‘Oh, I don’t have any money, and they’re not going to sue me.’ Well, we’ll take payments.’ We’ll garner those wages for, you know, the next 10 years. But I just think that people don’t think. It’s a foolish thing to do.”

Who the f**k does she think she is, Don Corleone? I mean, if someone crosses her are they gonna wake up one morning with Kim's old ass in their bed?

Seriously; she’d sue a homeless person if he took a picture of Kylie’s baby bump … or Kim’s inflatable ass …or Khloe’s filled-to-the-brim lips …or That Woman’s cloven hooves and horned tail …or simply went against The Family.

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