It's Snarkurday!

Everyone knows that hookers and blow are expensive. Well, everyone except Charlie Sheen, apparently.

It seems that Charlie Sheen owes the IRS $4,967,376.41 in taxes from 2015 which is odd, because other than announcing he was HIV-positive, Sheen didn’t work at all in 2915; his old show Anger Management ran from 2012-2014, and his 9/11 movie didn’t bomb until 2017.  I guess maybe his Two and a Half Men residuals offered some mighty coins for him to owe the IRS 5 million.

Of course, Charlie does own a $10 million Beverly Hills manse, that is he could just unload, he could pay off the government and then party like … well … Charlie Sheen.

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It looks like grown-up Drew Barrymore is acting more like child star Drew Barrymore … meaning maybe she needs a rehab vacation.

Barrymore was on Watch What Happens Live recently with her Santa Clarita Diet costar … Husband-In-My-Head … Timothy Olyphant and was obviously drunk. And now it appears that her close friends are worried about her and want her to try rehab again, after her first stint at treatment back when she was just thirteen, an emancipated minor and addicted to drugs and alcohol.

But is she drinking or drugging again? Or, as happens on Watch What Happens Live, where Andy Cohen serves drinks to his guests, was Drew just taken in by the show?

We’ll have to wait and see …

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So, Miranda Lambert is kind of that girl, that husband stealing girl … though, yeah, I know, if a husband didn’t want to be stolen he wouldn’t go. But still, Lambert seems to seek out married men when she’s looking for a new conquest, so, yeah, there’s that.

Lambert ALLEGEDLY got with her current man, country singer Evan Felker, while he was still with his wife Staci and she was still with her post-Blake Shelton boyfriend Anderson East.  Evan and his band became Miranda’s opening act on tour in February, and shortly after joining the tour, he filed for divorce.

A source—Blake or Gwen? —reveals how Miranda and Evan came to be … beginning with texts shortly before his band Turnpike Troubadours joined her tour. At first the texts were professional with Miranda praising Evan’s music and saying she wanted to write songs with him, but then they turned flirty. Evan ALLEGEDLY told Staci about the flirty texts, but, you know, Miranda Lambert; this could mean big coins for the family, so he kept at it.

And then he joined her tour but made a point of calling home to talk with Staci every night … for the first two nights. On the third night it was all ::::crickets::: because he was supposed to fly home, but he didn’t; he told Staci he wouldn’t be home for another week and, well, that turned into d-i-v-o-r-c-e papers on February 16.

And that was the same time that Miranda posted a picture to Instagram of a message she wrote on a mirror:

Well, she’s not playing and clearly doesn’t care, but, as Blake said, karma is a bitch and what goes around …

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Two weeks ago, it was reported that Johnny Depp was dropped by his latest law firm, who ALLEGEDLY labeled him too big of a legal mess to deal with and, well, it seems like they were right.

This week two of Johnny’s former bodyguards Eugene Arreola and Miguel Sanchez have recently filed a lawsuit against Depp, accusing him of not paying wages, not paying overtime, wrongful termination, and unlawful business practices. Eugene and Miguel also ALLEGE that most of their work was spent on keeping Johnny from his, ahem, “vices”:

“Often times Plaintiffs were forced to protect Defendant Depp from himself and his vices while in public, becoming caretakers for him. An incident at a local nightclub involved Plaintiffs alerting Depp of illegal substances visible on his face and person while preventing onlookers from seeing Depp’s condition.”

Seriously? They had to remind Depp to wipe the substances from his face to keep prying eyes and cellphones from noticing?

Eugene and Miguel previously guarded Johnny through Premiere Group International until hired them directly as his in-house security. Now Eugene and Miguel ALLEGE that from May 2016 to January 2018, Johnny never paid them overtime pay, gave them any breaks or meals during their 12-hour shifts, and they also ALLEGE they were often instructed to drive vehicles containing “illegal substances, open containers, and minors” for him.

Miguel also ALLEGES that he was the primary caregiver of Johnny’s son Jack; Miguel also claims he was instructed to “give in to every whim” of Johnny’s kids Jack and Lily-Rose unless he wanted to lose his job.

Eugene and Miguel claim that performing double duty as babysitters and drivers, combined with watching Johnny self-destruct, created a toxic and unsafe work environment, and they were forced to quit.

Sure, between babysitting the kids and babysitting Johnny, and cleaning up messes from all three, including those facial substances, would make anyone quit.

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She may never have married into that family, but Blac Chyna is as much a Kardastrophe as any of them because she’s all, always, and only, about the coins.

It seems that Chyna wants the money Kylie Jenner was paid for her former reality series, Life of Kylie, because Kylie’s show took her time slot on E! when Chyna's series Rob & Chyna was cancelled.

Seriously. Chyna’s show was cancelled because she and rob cancelled their made-for-TV “relationship: and now she thinks she deserves the money from the show that aired in place of her cancelled show?

Like I said, she’s a Kardastrophe… by injection.

Penis injection, if y’all get my drift.

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